Murder Me Not

Just Breathe

"How are you settling in, Alec?" Dr. Rollins asked softly, peering into his room. Her brown hair was pulled into a bun, a soft smile on her lips.

Alec shifted, the blue-blanketed bed squeaking beneath him. He fiddled with his hands. "It's—Ah—it's a little strange."

Dr. Rollins laughed, the sound musical and full of cheer. "It usually is the first few nights. It gets easier," she promised.

Alec's eyes flicked around the room, the soft tones, the white wooden dresser and nightstand, the carpeted floor. It was just... it was so light. And then his eyes locked onto the red light in the corner. "Are the cameras necessary, Dr. Rollins?" Alec asked, his voice strained.

"Dot, please. We only use them the first week, to decide if you are a threat to others or yourself. After the incident with your boyfriend, we think it's best to keep a watchful eyes on you," she said not unkindly.

A pain that Alec tried to ignore flashed through him. He hadn't meant to hurt Magnus. God, Magnus was never going to forgive him. "What am... what am I expected to do tomorrow?"

"Your personal therapist will have a meeting with you, then you'll be taken to breakfast and introduced to some of the other patients. We have group activities as well as some personal time. We'll adjust your schedule as we see fit," Dot explained gently.

Alec sighed, rubbing at his brow. "How long will I need to be here?"

She smiled sadly. "We don't know yet, Alec. Recovery is a long process and after everything you've been through, and the delay between the incidents and you seeking help such as this... it might be quite some time."

"And medications? Will I be given those?" Alec croaked, unable to meet her dark eyes.

"If you mean your sleeping pills, then no. Sometimes certain medications actually make the symptoms worse rather than better. We need to find a baseline to monitor your progress. If your personal therapist sees it fit, he'll supply a prescription."

Alec dipped his head, mentally preparing for the nightmares. "Fine."

"We really think you'll learn to love it here," Dot told him.

"Maybe..." Alec mumbled.

***

"Blackthorn? Underhill? How you holding up?" Alec asked wryly.

"Great, sir. Just get us out of here," Blackthorn replied coolly. Alec grunted as he hefted up the pit-cover. Blackthorn and Underhill crawled out.

"Lightwood!" Morgenstern shouted in warning.

Blackthorn's ocean blue eyes clashed with Alec's. "Why did you let him kill me?" he asked, his voice hollow.

Alec lowered his gun, his throat constricting. He opened his mouth but couldn't make a sound.

Tears formed in Julian's eyes, clearing a path of dirt from his face. "You just let him. And now she's unprotected. You killed her, too."

Alec wanted to scream.

"Emma's next. Don't you realize? Jonathan won't stop until we're all dead," Julian told him grimly.

"He's right," Morgenstern said, shifting his aim. Alec tried to move, tried to cover Julian. But he was stuck, frozen in place.

Morgenstern pulled the trigger. Alec watched helplessly as Julian coughed, clutching at his chest. Blood splattered and Julian was dead.