Murder Me Not

BlackHeart

Alec ended up walking around the city, his hands tucked into his pockets. His mind was empty, forced to the nothingness that he desired, that he feared. He couldn't protect anyone. That was why he was a homicide detective; it was impossible to save someone who was already dead.

His phone buzzed in his pocket but he ignored it.

***

He found himself back at the apartment he shared with Jace some time later. Izzy and Jace were sitting on the couch, watching a lame movie on TV. They heard the door open and shot up, staring at him with wide eyes.

He gave them a half wave, dropping his keys in the bowl by the door. "I'm going to bed," he announced hollowly.

Izzy shared a worried look with Jace.

Alec ignored them and retreated to his bedroom. He stripped, changing into a pair of loose sweatpants. He uncapped the water on his nightstand and downed two pills. He lay on the bed, waiting for the tiredness to wash over him, hoping desperately that he would be able to get some sleep.

Hoping he wouldn't wake up shaking with sweats and screams.

***

Alec walking into the precinct, drinking his third cup of coffee that morning. He nodded to the receptionist and went to his office, unsurprised to see a new file on his desk. He slumped into his chair, flipping through the papers; it was the orders for his new assignment.

Luke wanted Alec to guard Mr. Bane... and stay in his apartment for around-the-clock protection. Alec was beginning to wish his coffee was alcoholic. Alec's life was officially nonexistent, he was now only Magnus's shadow. Luke also jotted a note in the margins, saying that his assignment would last until this particular case was solved.

Alec rubbed at his stubble. Cases involving the Circle could last months.

"I wasn't sure you were coming back," Luke mused, a half-grin on his face. He tried for teasing but all Alec could hear was the irksome concern.

He huffed. "Like Jace wasn't going to drag me here."

Luke dipped his head in acknowledgement. "I'll tell Jace to pack some bags for you and leave them at Mr. Bane's. You're to meet him at his work.

"The club?" Alec asked, "Isn't it too early for that?"

He shook his head. "He's officially a model for BlackHeart. Isabelle is ecstatic. She's expecting you within the hour."

Alec rolled his eyes at his sister; he still couldn't believe she named her magazine that. BlackHeart: Looking better in black than the widows of our enemies. Jace had said that particular line shortly after Alec joined him on the force. Jace had been trying to find humor after Alec told him about Blackthorn. He didn't know it all, Alec didn't want him to know.

Isabelle liked the name because it referenced her search for diversity. She rarely ever hired caucasian models. It was her signature, a fashion magazine that focused on the aspects of non-white beauty. It was no surprise that Izzy would've been looking for someone like Magnus Bane.

"Are you alright?" Luke asked. It was his usual question. Alec supplied his usual answer and Luke left him to collect his meager belongings.

He was dreading going to Izzy's work. He loved his baby sister, and was unbelievably proud that she had broken away from the toxicity of politics (though some articles of the magazine were political).