nepenthe | yuwin

[ 19 ]

rage.
[rāj]
verb

feel or express violent uncontrollable anger.

-

"wooqian—" an old lady spoke, the house maid to be exact, who worked for the qians almost all of her lifetime. she looked tired, and her wrinkles more of a cover than design. much to resembling a bitter gourd. an inevitable change to senility.

she opened the door of kun's room, a dimmed room of mess and other china.

"stop calling me that," kun scowled, the dark circles in his eyes already imprinted as an impression of pulling out all nighters almost daily.

the lady (actually named weixi) opened the door more, which made kun wince at the creak.

"if you're forcing me to eat, then no-"

"did you take your medicines"

"none of your business"

"it is your parents and mine's business to worry about you"

"why are you here anyway"

"visitors, wooqian" weixi calmly uttered which made kun's brow furrow. his dad and mom wasn't home. visitors? who on earth would visit him? a total wreck of china?

"what visitors?" kun asked, standing up in his bed.

"the one you used to be friend wi-" she was shoved far from the doorway and kun walked outside, seeing sicheng sitting in their sofa. awe plastered across his face as he observe the grand house.

kun's expression softened and he approached sicheng whose lips lifted to form a smile as he greet him a good morning.

sicheng looked at him. trying not to cry. he cried so much, so much that he gave yuta trouble every time he did. kun looked like...a mess. he had dark circles under his eyes, hair askew and he was still in his silk button ups plaid shirt and pajamas. he wasn't near the angel kun he used to know.

where was his kun who reflected a smile of a mother? the warmth of summer? the scent of home?

"h-hi" kun greeted, seats away from the younger.

"i'm sorry" sicheng choked, he was sorry. sorry for turning away from his best friend. sorry for actually everything.

"why didn't you tell me" sicheng whimpered, afraid to look in his eyes. maybe afraid that kun would look as if he betrayed him.

"i wanted to appear normal, i wanted you not to walk away" it was a frail voice, a frail voice which he missed.

sicheng smiled and hugged kun who was still out of his mind.

"i miss you" sicheng mumbled making kun smile.

"sorry"

"i forgive you"

"wow that bitch weixi really told shit about me-"

"gege!"

"you owe me an explanation" sicheng hummed, making kun smile.

"sure, only if you promise that weird boyfriend you have won't attack me at my sleep"

"he won't"

then silence. the house filled with silence.

"what happened"

"life happened" kun chuckled bitterly.

"ge..."

"i was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder..." he trailed, as if holding back tears, "since i was sixteen"

"you knew how i was always beaten up by my late father, didn't know shitshow would happen inside myself. you know?"

"gege... sorry"

"no, you don't have to be sorry"

"but i am"

"i let my feelings control me, its my fault"

"kun-ge—" and before sicheng could say another word, he found himself enveloped inside kun's arms once again. as the older cried quietly, and they did stay like that... for a while.

to be continued...

the story would be ending soon! thanks for the support i've received. you're all the best!