Love & Hate

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Now that the lockdown is over and AJ and Ethan are gone, the three of us head back to our house. Happy had moved in shortly after we did. There are nights where I sleep with just one of them and then there are nights where we are all together. I don't know how we make it work but we do. I am cleaning the house when Koz's prepay rings. I hear him talking on the phone and him and Happy come to the bedroom where I am cleaning to tell me they have church. "Clay called. Church. You gonna be okay here for a while?" Koz asked. "Yeah. I'll get dinner started and it should be done by the time you guys come home." I tell him. They both kiss me and I say "I love you both. Be safe." They tell me that they love me too and walk out the door. I know they are only going for a vote but I still worry about them.

A couple of hours later, I am finishing dinner when they walk in. I can tell something is off. "Get washed up. Dinner is ready." I tell them and they wash up and sit at the table. I bring their plates to them as well as a couple of beers and sit down with my own. I don't ask them right away about what happened. I just let them process. I know how these men work by now. We make small talk and talk about things we want to do to the house and when we are done eating, I clean up.

Sitting in the living room, I see them on opposite ends of the couch just staring at the TV. I turn it off and sit between them and say "Talk." Koz speaks first. "Clay wants to start doing business with some people. They want guns which we can handle but they want us to run drugs." I look at him, trying to keep my face blank of emotions. I know Koz had a drug problem years ago so I know this isn't easy for him. "What do you guys think?" I asked. "I want to vote no." Hap says. "Me too." Koz says. "Okay, so you vote no." I tell them. "The thing is that we think Clay already made the deal and this vote is just a technicality." Koz says. "Wait. Are you saying that Clay is making decisions for the club without talking to the club?" I asked. "Yeah." Hap says. "Have you talked to Jax about this?" I asked. "Not yet. We want to see how the vote goes first. Clay just seems like he has his own best interest at heart here and not what's best for the club as a whole." he says. "Fuck. What are you going to do if this passes?" I ask. Me just being an Old Lady, I don't get a say so all I can do is be prepared for the backlash. "We don't know." Hap says. "Well, only thing you can do right now is just decide what you are going to vote. Don't stress about the next step until you know what your options are." I tell them and they nod their head. I kiss them both and head to the kitchen to get them both beers. I pour a glass of wine and head out to the back deck.

Koz goes to take a shower and Happy walks to the deck where I am. Pulling me up from the chair, he sits and pulls me to his lap. "What are you thinking?" he asked. "Just worried that if the vote passes that it's going to pull Koz right back in. I know he's still going to meetings and he's doing great but he's kept himself away from it. Now, transporting it, I worry." I say. "He's good. I promise." Hap says. We hear Koz walk outside and he heard our conversation. "Babe, when I was using, I didn't have anyone to stay straight for. I do now. I won't mess up." he tells me. "Okay. But just remember that you can always talk to me." I say. He leans down and kisses me and takes the chair next to Happy. "You know I love both of you right?" I asked. "We do. What's up?" Happy asked. "I got a call today. It was from Chris. He, uh, was trying to talk me into coming to visit." I tell them. "What did you say?" Koz asked. "I told him that I was never coming back there. But he said something else. He started on this guilt trip and asked me if I was going to choose being a biker whore over my flesh and blood. They asked what was I going to do when I got knocked up and you both left me." I say and a tear rolls down my cheek. Neither of them say anything. They just sit there. "I guess the kid would have two dads." Hap says. "Neither of us are going anywhere Maura." Koz says. I nod my head. "Do either of you even want kids?" I asked. "We want you to be happy." Koz says. "That's not what I asked." I say, standing up. "If this is going to work, you should be able to answer simple questions like this." I say. "I never thought about kids but if it happens, I'll be there." Koz says. "I never wanted kids." Hap says. "But, I never wanted an Old Lady either until you. You make me change my way of thinking on everything." I smile softly at them and say, "That's all I needed to know. I told Chris never to call me again and I am calling tomorrow to change my number so that they don't have it." Koz says "We will have it put in Gemma's name that way they can't look you up." I just nod my head. We talk a little more about the vote and before I know it, we are heading to bed. Both of them by my side.

The next day, the guys leave for church and once they are out, both my men come home looking stressed. "How did the vote go?" I asked. "We voted no but it still passed. We work for the cartel." Koz says. "Fuck. Where do you go from here?" I asked. "I don't know." Hap says. "Well, let's just not think about it tonight. I know something that will take your minds off of the vote." I say and I take their hands and lead them both to the bedroom. Sex always clears their minds.