Love & Hate

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Waking up the next morning, I get out of bed and dressed for work. Walking into the kitchen, I grab a cup of coffee and knowing Gemma is already in the office, I grab her a cup too. Heading into the office she tells me to sit down. "Are you okay? Jax told me what happened last night." she asked. "I'm fine Gemma. Hap and Koz came to my rescue." I say smiling. "Good. Snake is an ass. None of the charters like him but until he fucks up, they can't patch him out." she says. "It's all good. I don't think he'll be messing with me again. I saw him this morning at the picnic table and he was all kinds of fucked up. What did they do to him?" I asked. "Jax said they took him to the ring. First Koz and then Hap." he tells me. "Fuck really? I really need to do something nice for them." I tell her. "I know what they will like." she says. "Gemma, I am not sleeping with them." I say and she starts laughing. "God you're horrible." I tell her and she starts laughing harder. A few minutes later, my guys walk into the office to clock in. "Hey guys." I say. "Hey babe. You good?" Koz asked. "Yeah. I'm good." I say. He kisses me softly and walks out. Hap walks over. "You need us just yell." he says. "I will. Thanks." I say and he kisses me before walking out. "Fucking hell in a handbasket." I say. "Let me get Chucky to watch the office. We need some girl time." she says. Walking out of the office I see the guys looking at me. "I'll meet you at the car." I tell her and head to the garage. They meet me halfway. "You leaving?" Hap asked. "Yeah, I'm going out with Gemma for a while. Need some girl time to sort this shit out." I tell them. "So you planning on deciding soon?" Koz asked. "Yeah. I can't keep stringing you guys along. It's not fair to either of you. So, I am going to have a little girl time and see if I can figure this shit out." I say. "Okay. Be careful and call if anything seems off." Hap says. "I will. If you guys leave, please be safe okay." I say and kiss them both on the cheek. "Will do." Koz says before I leave them standing there.

A few minutes later, we are sitting at Gemma's house and Tara, Luanne and Lyla are there too. "Fuck. I don't know what to do." I tell them. "Let me get this straight. You are dating both Kozik and Happy and they are okay with it? I don't see the problem." Luanne says. "It's a problem. Trust me. They are just giving me time to make a decision." I say. "Well, tell us about Kozik." Lyla says. "He's sexy and funny and smart. He's gentle and makes me laugh." I say. "What do you feel when you kiss him?" Tara asked. "I feel butterflies. He makes me feel like everything will be okay." I say. "Okay. Tell us about Happy." Gemma says. "He's sexy too. Quiet but seems to know just what to say when I need it. He's smart and I know he'd do anything to make sure I'm safe." I tell them. "What about when you kiss him and don't say you haven't." Tara said. "It's like everything else around us disappears. I completely lose my head with him." I say. "Well, looks like you have a lot to think about. Why don't you stay here tonight and clear your head." Gemma offers. "You sure?" I asked. "Yeah. I'll have Chucky close up the shop." she says. "Well, let me call my guys and let them know what's going on because if I don't come back they will flip their shit and start a search party." I tell them and we all start laughing. Walking out to the back deck, I call Kozik's phone. He answers on the first ring. "You okay babe?" I smile at this and say "I'm okay. Hap near you?" I asked. "Yeah. We are sitting at the picnic tables. Want me to put it on speaker?" he asked. "Please." I say. Once he does and Hap lets me know he's there, I start talking. "Gemma is letting me stay with her tonight to clear my head. I want to have a decision by in the morning. Are you sure that this won't cause a problem no matter who I choose?" I asked. "Babe, we told you it wouldn't. We just want you to be good with it." Hap says. "Okay. I will see you guys tomorrow and I will let you know who I choose. I just wanted to let you both know where I was so you wouldn't worry." I tell them. "That's fine. Can we text you later?" Koz asked. "Of course." I tell them both. We end the call and I head inside. After a little more wine and a lot more conversation mostly them asking details about my guys. It really helps me feel a little better about my decision. I know who I want to be with.

After we all called it a night, I was laying in the bed and my phone goes off. It's a text from Kozik.

K: Hey Sweetheart. How's your girls night?

M: It was good. Feeling a little better about things.

K: Really? That a good thing for me?

M: You will have to wait until tomorrow. Any last arguments?

K: Just that no matter your decision, I still want to be friends and will still be here if you need anything.

M: Thank you. No matter what, we will always be friends but you don't know who I will choose.

K: Well, until tomorrow then. Good night Sweetheart.

M: Nite Surfer Boy

I find myself smiling and then another text. This one from Happy.

H: Hey Little girl. What are you doing?

M: Laying here. Finally calling it a night after a little too much wine.

H: Drunk Maura is good Maura. Lol

M: Not that drunk. I know who I am going to pick.

H: No matter what I still wanna hang out.

M: We will. No matter what. But like I told Koz, you don't know who I am choosing.

H: Sleep good little girl. See you tomorrow.

M: Nite Hap. See you tomorrow.

Now, just to get through tomorrow so that I can tell them who I am choosing. Will it be Happy or Kozik? I think I know who I want to choose but I hope this doesn't mess things up with the other. God I feel like such a slut.

The next morning, I pull up to the garage with Gemma. Walking into the office, we get to work. The guys come in and both kiss me good morning and I tell them, "Meet me at the park after work?" They both nod and walk out of the office. "Which one are you going to choose?" she asked. "I'm not saying anything until I talk to them first. I don't want word to get out until they know." I tell her.

The rest of the day goes by quickly and I get in my car and head to the park. I'm not sitting there long before I see my guys pull up. This isn't going to be easy. They walk up and sit on the picnic table, sitting on each side of me. "I made my decision but I need to know that no matter what, you won't hate me and you won't hate each other." I say. "We would never hate you. Or each other. We already promised that. It's all good." Koz says. "Same here." Hap says. "Hap, I have so much fun with you and I care about you a lot. Koz, same with you. I feel a connection to both of you but I have to decide. When I say this, I don't want to just jump into shit. I want to still take things slow. You both need to understand that." I say. They both agree and I say. "I choose...Kozik." They are both quiet for a minute. Happy stands up and stands in front of me. "It's all good little girl. I still got you." he says and kisses my lips softly before hugging Koz and walking off. I feel the tears falling down my cheeks and feel Koz put his arms around me. "It's okay baby. I promise. It's okay." he says as he rubs my back. Pulling back from him, "I didn't want to hurt him." I say. "Baby, he will be okay. Nothing will change. He will still hang out and shoot the shit with you. It's all good." he assures me. "I hope you're right." I say before he kisses me softly. "Thank you baby girl." he says and we sit in silence.