Chase Hudson (Lilhuddy)

part 33

Roses pov
I woke up and I checked my phone, it was 11:30. I turned around and saw payton on his phone on my desk.

"Payton!" I scream and he jumps. "Don't give me a heart attack." He laughs standing up and coming over to my bed. He lays down next to me. I just hug him. "Why can't chase just like me? He sure acts like he does, but then he fucks up and breaks up with me?!?!" I cry in paytons arms.

"Chase is sorta bipolar, one minute he loves you and gives you affection then the next minute, then he apparently doesn't like you and hates you and blah blah blah. But chase told me that he loves you and he wants to be with you for the rest of his life?" Payton says comforting me.

"Do you think it was about that post?" I ask. "Probably, I'm not sure? But I was watching that live and he said he has feelings for someone else? Maybeee, Cynthia? Cause Cynthia has had this effect on chase? But I saw her sticking her tounge down someone else's throat" payton says.

"I know what we should do today!" I yell. "What?" Payton says "Lets watch all the Harry potter movies from the start." I laugh. "Good idea, I love Harry potter." Payton laughs

Flashback
"Okay, you got this." Chase laughs. "You know I suck at skate boarding." I say pouting

"You'll be fine, I've got you, you won't get hurt, I'll always be here for you."
End of flashback

Now im starting to think. Was that a lie? But chase couldn't be using me, could he? What would he be using me for though? Not fame. Well, maybe fame? But probably Not? Cause I only have 100k more than him, so he couldn't be using me for that.

We did have sex? Did he just want to have it with me and then leave? Maybe he wants to do that with Cynthia? But he couldnt of used me for sex could he?

"There's a party at mollies house tonight, you wanna go?" Payton asks.

"Is chase going to be there?" I ask. "I think s-" he says but I cut him off. "Nope, ima stay home." I say clicking Harry potter and the philosopher stone. "Pleaseeeee." Payton whines.

"If chase is going im not going." I argue. "You are going to have to talk to him sooner or later." Payton says "you can't avoid him." Payton adds

"I can, and I will." I say, knowing that I will have to talk to him.

"Well, now's the best time,  you are going to that party and having fun. With chase there or not." Paytons says

"Fineeeeee." I moan.

Skip to before the party

Payton made me come, he said that I can have fun, by wich he means getting drunk and what not. I might just stay at mollies since she's my friend. Andddddd get drunk, I couldn't get my mind of chase since he broke up with me. Does he know that he broke me so hard, more than anyone else. Probably not.

I was in the bathroom. I stood still, looking at the mirror.

"Disgusting"

"Fat"

"Ugly"

"Worthless"

"Disappointing"

"Broken"

"Slut"

"Whore"

"Hurt"

I touched my neck to see the previous hickey chase put on me before playlist, before he broke me.

A tear slipped out of my eye.

"Ew, why do I look like this," I sigh to myself. I had this on

I wore the jersey thing to hide my previous cuts, but I rolled down the sleeves.

I know cutting isn't a joke and isn't funny and people can die. But I wasn't planning on dying, dying is the last thing that I ever want to do. But the thing that scares me and that I never want to happen.

Loneliness.

"Are you ready?!?!" Payton yelled.

I sniffed cause i was crying. "AlmOst!" my voice cracked when I said that. "Can I come in?"Payton said softly outside the door.

"No, I'm almOst ready." My voice cracks. I washed my face and wiped away the tears.