Breaking Hermione

How To Feel

Arriving back to the past left me feeling weighed down and despairing. Time had been altered, and now I had a furious Tom Riddle to contend with. Daniel had been saved but at a terrible cost. Tom would now be furious he had escaped... and especially when he found his diary was missing on top of that. So it was with great fear I walked out of my room and into the Slytherin Common Room. But to my surprise I found it was mostly empty, minus the odd Slytherin student who I had never bothered to interact with. Where was Tom?

In his room. My mind intoned.

Of course he would be in his room. Or rather, his lair. I decided against intruding on him. He would be angry, and I knew from experience that I would probably be the one taking the brunt of his rage. So instead I made use of myself, going down to the Great Hall for a spot of afternoon tea. I hadn't been eating well at all, I only noticed I was loosing weight when my Slytherin robes suddenly became baggier on me. I was happy to find there were no Slytherin faces I could recognise. Imagine if Tom was down here! My appetite would've been ruined.

But no one in the vicinity was paying attention to me, so in peace I enjoyed a hasty snack of freshly baked bread with butter, slathered with boysenberry jam and pumpkin juice. It wasn't much, but since I hadn't been eating too much food lately I couldn't rule out the possibility I'd just throw it all back up.

I felt a great sense of personal relief that Daniel was alive. It definitely was one of those things that made me happy enough to keep eating. Of course, he wouldn't be able to return back to Hogwarts, it was far too risky especially when Tom Riddle wanted me to kill him. But my conscience was certainly a lot cleaner than it had been, and that made all the difference. It was late in the afternoon. Through the magnificent castle windows I could see the sun slowly beginning it's descent behind the castle. I slung my beaded bag back over my shoulder. I was extremely tired, going back into the past was mentally draining, a sensation that I had read was supposed to feel jet lag on muggle aircraft.

I reached the Slytherin Common Room door. It was only then I realised I didn't have the password. Out of all the problems I had, I had forgotten it.

"Pure blood." I improvised with conviction. I didn't know why I kept using the password "pure blood" when I was in doubt. I figured I might as well just start rattling off random words. Anything was better than being around Tom in the Common Room really. But when nothing happened I had to wrack my brain.

"Salazar." I attempted again.

Nothing.

"Venomous Tentacular." I threw in for good measure.

Nothing.

I was starting to get really pissed off. I toyed with the Time Turner around my neck as I contemplated my possibilities. I could go back into the past again to get into the Common Room....

That would be stupid, wouldn't it? My mind said ruthlessly. Time travel isn't for mundane problems!

There was a sound behind me.
A jolt of fear hit me and I spun on my heel, fearing the worst: but it was only a Portrait of an old wizard snoring in an armchair.

Get a grip! I told myself. I took another breath and made another attempt at the password. And another....

I couldn't see outside the windows at this part of the Castle, and I was about to just give up and go and find Professor Slughorn when I heard a loud commotion coming from up the Hall.

"....I have no idea where it is, Tom. I'm chancing a bet it's that Granger that stole it..."

My blood ran cold, and in sheer panic I threw the invisibility cloak back over myself automatically to find I had just saved myself from being spotted by Xavier Malfoy and Tom Riddle as they came walking around the corner. I stepped back against the wall, making sure my shoes didn't make any noise on the ground, my eyes wide and fixated on Tom as he walked closer talking in an impatient voice.

"What makes you say that?" Tom said sharply.

"All the girls you sleep with all end up screwing with your head after." Xavier explained while I frowned alone beneath the cloak. "Didn't Shalini try to burn all your books at one point after you broke up with her?"

"Yes, she did." Tom said, bristing at once. Clearly he had not forgiven her for that. "However in this case I didn't sleep with Hermione." Tom said irritably. "At least, not yet."

"You should." Xavier said, with a hungry look on her face. "I would. Besides, it would break her in, which is what you want isn't it? To turn Little Miss Good Girl bad?"

"In due time." Tom replied drily. They had nearly reached the entrance of the Common Room door, and Tom rounded on Xavier his face a mask of danger. "But no one asides from me is to touch her. She is mine."

Xavier looked crestfallen. Tom on the other hand looked ready to beat him up, so it was with great relief when I saw them finally arrive at the Slytherin Common Room door. But instead of actually walking inside they just stood there in front of it talking. I rolled my eyes, beginning to get restless under the cloak. My legs were killing me, and all Tom and Xavier could do was talk?

I had to get back to my room urgently. After all, I had Tom's missing diary with me, if I was found out with it on me I was as good as dead.

"I can't imagine that Hermione would steal my diary." Tom was saying thoughtfully, causing me to freeze. "She has never seen where I keep it. And I have ways of knowing who attempts to steal my things...

Chills trickled down my spine. So Tom had ways of tracking his missing diary? Shit.

"What, did you put a tracking spell on your diary?" Xavier asked as the question popped into my mind. I looked into Tom's face.

"Yes." He said, with a chilling grin. "I did. So the fool who has dared to steal it is going to be caught out very soon."

He turned to the door, muttering a password I couldn't even hear. The Common Room door opened at once.

"Well, shouldn't you already know who has stolen it then?" Xavier said questioningly as he followed Tom inside. I pushed off the wall, darting behind them and just making it in before the door closed.

Tom only smirked, but in the way that told you that he definitely did know who the culprit was. We all entered the Common Room together, but I quickly put as much distance between us as I could, making my way up the stairs now suddenly full of anxiety and fear again. Tom would've known it was me who stole his diary. Unless he was lying...

I couldn't be sure with Tom anymore. He was too confusing. He lied so often it was hard to determine what was real anymore. All I knew was I needed to get to a place where I could be alone and read the diary. It contained details about what Tom wanted to do with me. Either way, I was going to read this damn diary whether I was going to be caught or not. I more or less ran to my room, almost tripping on the cloak and falling through the door.

I locked the door and actually threw the invisibility cloak back over myself extricating the diary from within my beaded bag. If Tom suddenly barged in here he wouldn't see shit.

I open the book at random, my eyes roving over the pages simultaneously eager and fearful. But instead of what I thought was going to be pages of magical means to destroy my life was just...

Diary entries about spending time with me?

Sure enough, on the top of every page Tom had marked the date in his neat cursive script, following with a couple of paragraphs on each page describing days he had spent with me.

I ripped the invisibility cloak off from around me, hardly daring to believe it.

It is as though something is altering my mind, confusing my logic and reasoning. He wrote. I find myself prone to thinking of her when I know she is thinking of ways to evade me. For reasons I know not I enjoy when she is submissive to my suggestions, but not when she is not in control of her thoughts. I prefer her with her rational senses in tact. I do not know how to discern what this is. As she tries to convince me I cannot love... Is my attraction to her simply lust? Hermione is an enigma I have yet to decipher.

I read the page over again.
And again.

"Caught in the act." Someone said. "And not for the first time, either..."

I froze. Standing there, leaning against the door watching me reading his own diary with an impassive face was Tom Riddle.

I was doomed.