Poetry;my depravity. A manic insanity

Violent Tendencies

We sit and laugh

we smile and joke

Inside i shudder

as i imagine the sound you make

as you slowly choke

We fall we cry

we stumble we lie

but as the tears slowly drop

i visualize the best way

i can imagine for your heart to stop

while everyones smily

joyful and okay

i wonder if I'll forever be this way

You think of schoolwork and family,

friends, "chicks"and your next beer or two

i think of all this too,but you attack me not i,you

so in between are flashes of a vibrant red hue

You trip me up laugh as though it were a joke

i stumble

wonder if i could hit you hard enough to croak that last joke

You rip away and apart my brand new book

i see myself beating you with it

screaming these words are beautiful

just look!

Maybe I'm a nerd,loner or a depressed loser

Maybe I'm a bully or being bullied

you'll never know,

the whole world is a circus

but my imagination is where we

start the real show