A Hunter's Way Of Saying I Love You

T H R E E

(Estimated episode: 3.13 / Ghostfacers)
April 2008

I laid the letter down and pulled myself from the chair. Sam and Dean both started asking questions but my head was spinning to fast already to answer anything. The back of my throat burned and my body thumped as anger flooded through my veins.

How could he lie to me? For all those years!

The words voiced in and out of my head. I turned around and walked out of the small hotel room and straight to mine. Barging through the door I slammed it shut. My body screamed at me to break everything in sight. But my dad's- John's words echoed through my head. He only told me not to do it in front of Sam. So I took a breath and brought my hands around to the curtain. Ripping it down the tearing screamed through the room.

My fists wrapped around the table and flipped it into the wall. I screamed at the top of my lungs pushing everything off the dresser. A huge mirror shattered on the floor. Knocks at the door and yelling filled my ears. I looked at my hand dripping blood. I sighed feeling relief. I dropped my arm letting the drops create a path to my door. Opening it, Sam and Dean looked around me. The trashed room gave them a pretty good idea of how mad I was.

"John told me not to do it in front of Sam." I pushed them back slightly and closed my door. Sam pulled my hand into his instantly covering it in blood. He pulled me along gently into their hotel room. Pulling a shirt around my hand, he sat down in front of me. Dean closes the door softly and stood behind me. Sam unwrapped my hand and grabbed the first aid kit.

"I grew up fine. I had a decent mother who tried her best. She wasn't a good mom. When a vampire tore her to shreds John took me in. I knew him as my father. I always have. Reading this stupid letter," I picked it up and stared at his quick handwriting, "told me different." I turned around in my seat halfway and glanced at Dean's shoes. Trailing up his lose jeans and thin black shirt. He would probably layer up later.

My eyes trailed straight to his eyes and I locked in. My heart skipped a beat and my palms started sweating. How the hell do I break it to him? This isn't going to be easy. Why would John leave me to do this? I pulled away from his glance and turned around in my chair. Staring down at the letter glancing at the handwriting I thought was my fathers but he truly standing behind me.

"Makenzie. You have to start talking or we are going to read the letter." Sam's soft voice moved Dean around me and he sat down in front of me. I locked eye contact with him and started bouncing my knee. My mouth dried out completely at my first words.

"Moab, Utah. 1995," They looked at me even more confused. Dean furrowed his eyebrows waiting for more reason, "It was a women about 5'6 with the blondest hair you could imagine," imagines and memories of my mother flickered like a distance, "She would have been quite the firecracker. Maybe even left your hands full." I folded my hands and looked at Dean. Dean stared at me confused. I knew he wouldn't remember her. She's vague in everyone's memory.

"It was a werewolf. Then a shapeshifter. Then vamps moved in. John- well John keep sending hunters to keep her safe," my voice caught in my throat. I didn't know why I was telling them whole story but it was tearing me apart, "It didn't work. When I was young, they got her. Tore her apart from shreds. I called John. I knew his number by heart. He showed up and took me in." Dean and Sam was listening intently. Did John never tell them about me? Or even hint it?

"All the way up to September of '05. He sent me on a hunt in Cali. Far from him. I lost tract of John-"

"Wait- you would have been what 9? 10?" Dean muttered holding up a hand. I stared at him and chuckled. Only if he knew.

"Yeah. Something like that. I've been searching for him high and low since. But I guess there's a reason I didn't find him. Did he get a hunters funeral?" I whisper softly picking up the letter again. Some of his last words were for me. I should have searched for relatives. I would have found them sooner.

"Yeah. He got it." Dean stood up and rubbed his face softly. I glanced at Sam reading through my orphanage reports. Thinking back to those days, I laughed slightly. Suppressing my grin and picked up my letter and walked towards Dean.

"Her name was Isabel Broke. You were with John when hunting that thing. You have to remember her." Dean turns around and glances at me. He had confusion washed over every aspect of his eyes and face.

"Makenzie I have no clue who that is." Dean closed his mouth and clenched his jaw. You liar. I pushed the letter on his chest and waited for him to read it. The silence could suffocate me. Sam was watching us, I could tell.

"My name is Makenzie Broke. John Winchester took me in and never told me the truth. I believed John was my father. But he's not Dean. He really isn't. You are. Now I don't expect you take responsibility of me but I just want you to know. I'm heading out, take care of the vamp nest for me. It's the first time I never finished a job. As much as it pains me, I was only doing this for John anyway." I pull my body away from the small hotel room and close the door.

Screaming erupted in the room but I didn't look back.

"Go get her Dean!"

"What would we do with her Sammy?"

"I don't know Dean! But we can't let her walk away! Take responsibility!"

I opened my hotel room door and shifted through the mess. I threw my things in my bag and left. I didn't look back and I didn't want to. I let the tears stroll down my face. I was done. Done being a hunter. The betrayal I've felt in the small moments right now have torn the fabric I built. As much as I wanted to turn around and be a daughter, I need to learn how to be Makenzie. I've never been her, I've always wanted John's approval which led to many years of obedience and blindness. Now it was time to actually grow up.