Total Eclipse of the Hart

Stabbed through the Hart

The nurses wake me up from the hospital chair, and I slowly blink and try to wake up. "Yes?" I ask, my voice hoarse. "We need your signature. Julie needs a small medical procedure, or else her condition will worsen.". I immediately sign after reading, and they essentially kick me out of the hospital, so I walk back home, thinking the entire time. I'm just going through the motions without even thinking. I didn't even realize I was home until I was sitting on the couch where Julie was when the meds arrived. I curl into a ball, too stressed to cry. I stay like this for hours, paying no attention to anything going on.

JULIE'S POV-------

I think Hannah left. I'm pretty sure my hand doesn't have the constant pressure on it that it had grown accustomed to over the past day. I'm drifting between the real world and my personal hell. I have tried so hard to try to regain consciousness, but my body just can't, which is so frustrating. How many times do I have to revisit those awful memories? Don't I deserve a break? Once I think that, I feel guilty, like the coward I am. The memories hurt every time, as if my heart shatters all over again and pierces the newly healed skin, reopening my old wounds. I feel some morphine in my arm, and instead of being calmed my mind goes into panic mode, the frenzy picks up, and I feverishly try to delay the memories, but it's no use, and I revisit my past, yet again.

Nat and I are staring at the downpour, and while she's a high school freshman, I'm starting my first year in middle school. We stand at the window, looking in awe at the sheets of rain being released onto the earth, washing away the dirt. Nat turns to me, and with worry in her eyes, asks me, "Where's Mom?". I shrug, concerned with watching the rain, when Nat turns away from me and walks into the other room. About ten minutes pass when she stands by my side again. Shortly thereafter, Jay strolls forward, placing his large hands on our shoulders. Nat and I both jump, surprised, and Jay takes pleasure in our shock. Laughing his greasy, used car salesman laugh adds to my frustration. Jay sees the hatred in my stare and seems to enjoy it. Jay leans close to me, taunting me. I refuse to react, realizing my previous mistake of showing my emotions. Nat is standing by my side, tensed up, like a mother defending its young. Jay yanks my hair so hard I see stars, and I feel the hopeless pit in my stomach that was becoming familiar to me. The next thing I know, his lips smash into mine, using extreme force, as in, my lips were purple for one full week, and he attempts to stick his tongue in my mouth. I try to resist, tears streaming down my cheeks, until finally the pressure is relieved, and I see Nat standing over Jay's limp body with her softball bat. Unfortunately, Nat really isn't that strong, and Jay wasn't unconscious like we had thought. He grabs my ankles when I try to flee, and I crash onto the floor. My elbow takes the brunt of the force, and I attempt to wriggle free. Nat again is my hero, using her weight to jump on his wrists, and there was a crack as she jumped. I wipe the blood off of my elbow, turning around to try to stand up to this bastard once and for all. Nat, panting, is trying to fight off Jay. I try to hit him with Nat's softball bat, but he grabs it as I'm lifting it over his head, and his forceful tug sends me flailing forward onto the floor. Suddenly, I hear my mother's car on the dirt driveway and I almost weep in relief. Jay hears it too, and kicks us both in the stomach with all of his weight. Nat and I have just had the literal wind knocked out of us, and Jay grabs us both and essentially throws us onto Nat's bed. 

While Nat and I are gasping for air, we hear our mother open the door and she kisses Jay. Jay warmly greets her, and I am disgusted that my mother would want to extend her love to that horrible excuse of a human. I feel betrayed that Mom never notices what is happening to her children while she is at work. I'm not exactly sure what Mom does, but that's why she's never home. Nat refuses to tell me, but all I see are the jaundiced skin and the purple under-eye circles that look like bruises. Mom pops her head in to the room and waves to Nat and I, and as always, we fake a smile and wave back. 

As Nat and I help our mother with dinner, Jay decides to get me back for attempting to hit him today by tripping me whilst the hot pan full of vegetables is still in my hand. Not only do the vegetables fly everywhere, but the pan lands on my arms, burning the skin. I can already feel blisters developing, and before I know it my mom is screaming at me. I look up at Nat, but she shakes her head slightly, her eyes speaking a silent apology. I get it. She can't help me with this one, and I can't blame her. I mutter my apology and refuse to look at Jay for the rest of the night. As usual, the memory ends with me running into Nat's room and trying not to cry myself to sleep, desperately hoping to find a way to escape, praying to anyone who will listen.