Same Love

16: Co-Existence

It wasn't easy but it was bearable, learning how to accept the presence of other people in the prison. Axel and Oscar were still sort of scared, Sam hadn't spoken a word to them, only glared but the other members tried to co-exist. Daryl and Sam sat by his motorcycle, chatting and waiting for Rick to give them some sort of order. Hershel was alive yet weak and they didn't feel like being in the room full of people anyway.

"So, do you think I could pull it off?" 

"What? I think you'd fall on your face" Daryl chuckled as Sam took a cloth and wiped down the bike pouting.

"I'd be fine, I could ride this bike better than anyone" 

"Ain't placin' my bets on ya" Sam punched Daryl's arm lightly, still pouting but as soon as Daryl laughed at how cute Sam's pout was Sam began to laugh as well, both of them holding their stomachs. It had been a while since either one had laughed so vigorously, the first time they had shared such a laugh together too and they enjoyed it. Axel almost didn't want to interrupt the two and so waited before making his way over to ingratiate himself.

"I can give you a tune-up if you want" He offered and Sam went silent, watching Daryl with calm eyes though he was obviously uncomfortable. Daryl retracted his arm from where it had previously been resting on Sam's shoulders and ignored Axel's suggestion. Sam's eyes wandered over to where Hershel was taking his first steps on the crutches. Suddenly gunfire erupted and they saw walkers flooding the courtyard. They rushed to the fight, leaving Axel to stare after them. They cleared the crowd with little effort. They noticed the gate was sealed but Carol and T-dog were nowhere to be found. Sam heaved a sigh, readying himself to go into the prison where they'd undoubtedly be. Glenn inspected the gate, running back to inform them that the fence had been cut.

"It must have been you!" Rick accused Axel and Oscar and Sam felt he was jumping to conclusions too soon, Axel was with Daryl and himself.

"It wasn't, I swear!" Oscar yelled, trying to defend himself more than anything else. The alarms were triggered and attracted more walkers to the fence and Rick panicked, going inside to try to disable them while the rest tried to clear the walkers through the fence with knives and such. They separated into groups to search the inside of the prison to shut off the alarm and Sam was paired with Glenn and Axel. They ran, searching desperately and before long the alarm shut off. Rick must have found it, Sam thought. He decided to follow Glenn and they met up, finding Carol's scarf and T-dog's mutilated remains, to which Sam said a small goodbye and the six moved outside to see Hershel and Beth alive and well. Sam hugged Beth, knowing she was still fragile and the cries of a baby rang out in the eerie silence. Maggie appeared, a beautiful baby girl in her arms but with no Lori, Carl following after him.

Rick collapsed in his grief. Maggie began to shake making the baby cry so Sam took her from Maggie, cooing and rocking the child as Rick became lost in his grief, grabbing his axe and disappearing, just as Sam had, into the prison to slaughter walkers. Daryl and Maggie hopped on the motorcycle to go and get formula milk for the new baby and Sam still cradled her in his arms, sitting on the steps as she slept peacefully. The way he stared at her with such love and the way he handled her like an experienced parent made Carl wonder if he had a history with children. He moved to the cell block, not putting her down or giving her to anyone else. Carl didn't want to hold her, Rick was too unstable and Glenn didn't want to be near her, Beth wanted to help but knew Sam had more experience and Hershel was mesmerized by the natural way Sam handled the baby. After an hour she grew hungry and Sam could do nothing but rock her gently, whispering to her and comforting her. He wished Daryl and Maggie would come back already, then she'd have food. As she wailed louder he knew she couldn't wait much longer and wished even harder for the return of the hunter and the farm girl to get back. He heard the bike and heaved a sigh of quiet relief as Daryl rushed in. It didn't take long to mix the formula and Sam handed over the little girl gently as Daryl began to feed her. It seemed Daryl wasn't a complete dunce when it came to children. He was gentle and Sam sat beside him, lost in the tranquil expression on his face.

"What should we call her?" Beth asked making Carl speak up.

"Maybe we should name her after someone who has been in this group"

"What about Lil' ass Kicker?" Daryl joked and the group laughed casually, not so distraught as the presence of new life pushed back mourning. As they all lay themselves to sleep that night, it was all they could do to not scream. Sam's nightmares were worse than ever and he woke everyone up, including the baby, with screams. He apologized and decided to take a walk, tears streaming down his face as he walked, hitting himself repeatedly, He wished he wasn't like this, he wished his life had been carefree and his memories didn't haunt him. He didn't hear the person behind him, he only focused on himself as he curled up in a ball, sitting on a log near the fence and staring at the walkers, his tears stinging his skin.

"Are you ok?" Maggie asked, approaching him. She had not spoken much to him but she knew that something about this place was eating at him, something wasn't right and she knew it. She had never experienced his nightmares, none had ever heard his screams as he always slept far away from them, where the night could swallow his whimpers.

"I didn't know they were so bad"

"There are lots of things you don't know" He abruptly said, turning away from her and wiping his eyes. He seemed too fragile, it was very out of character. He held his notebook tightly but it was shut and he knuckles were white. He was pale, purple lined his eyes and it was clear that he hadn't slept properly in weeks. Maggie felt guilty, he was suffering and she had been oblivious.

"Why are you out here?"

"None of your concern" He spat and made his way back to his cell, settling into the bed and staring up at the ceiling. He had packed his bag to go on the supply run tomorrow and he tried to calm himself, he told himself it was all a dream, he told himself his nerves were unnecessary but he knew something would go wrong, he had already been right about the prison being bad news, he was worried about the baby, about the group, about Daryl. He also knew one thing, one thing he had been scared to admit. He was falling in love again and this time he didn't want to mess things up, he had a family now and they were surviving, this was no place for love, this was no place for feelings. He murmured softly to Nate, telling him all that had happened and imagining him smiling. He had let go of the man finally and now he had others to protect.

A new life was beginning.