The Thug Series : Lies And Perfection

~18~

x Sha'Nae Point Of View x

_Next Day_  _Night_

        Seeing Vonte On That TV Screen Yesterday Was Really Hard. Nivea Started Crying For Him And That Made Me Cry Silent Tears. I Took Her Out Of The Room While Nathan And Tina Stayed In The Room Talking To Them. Aniyah And Trinity Had Said Their Goodbyes After Telling Their Dad And Uncles About How They Are Going To Start School And How Things Were Going And Other Stuff. They Also Snitched On Niya. Telling Maine That She Cries Herself To Sleep. I'm Going To Have To Watch What I Say And Do Around Those Two. I Don't Need Tre'Vonte Being Worried About Me And Getting Distracted. 

        Today Had Been A Long Day. I Had To Enroll The Twins Into School. They Were In Pre-K. I Had To Go To My Doctors Appointment And Transfer My Papers To Another College. I Only Had 2 More Years Before I Got My Masters In Business. I'm Going To Open Up My Own Hair Salon. Maybe A Bakery. I Haven't Really Made Up My Mind Yet. I Also Had To Check Out A Couple Of Day Cares. Shardae Decided To Take Online Classes Now. She Said She Wanted To Be With Tre'Shawn More Because Tre Wasn't Around. She Also Mentioned An Idea Of Going To Counseling. I Support Her In That. Hell I Might Even Go With Her. 

       After All Our Business Was Taken Care Of, We Drove Back Home. It Was Almost 7pm When We Pulled Into The Drive Way And The Kids Hadn't Had A Nap All Day. They Were Cranky. I Gave My Babies A Bath And Dressed Them In Their Appropriate Pajamas. Nivea Didn't Want To Lay Down. She Was Fighting Her Sleep.

"Nivea You Better Get In That Bed Right Now." I Looked At Her Sternly And She Looked At Me With Sad Eyes.

"But Mommy I Wone To Sweep Wit You," She Said To Me, Hugging My Legs. I Picked Her Up And She Put Her Head On My Shoulder. I Rubbed Her Back. Once I Had Her Teddy Bear That She Always Slept With ( Tre'Vonte Left It For Her) I Walked To The Door. Nate Made A Sound. I Turned Back Around And Walked To His Bed. 

"Nate?" I Spoke.

"Hmm?" He Asked Peeking Over His Shoulder At Me.

"Do You Want To Sleep With Mommy Tonight?"

"Yesss," He Told Me. He Got Up Grabbed His Teddy Bear, Also Courtesy Of His Daddy, And Grabbed My Free Hand. We Walked To My Room And Laid Down. Nivea Had Knocked Out A Few Minutes After I Picked Her Up So She Was Sleep. Nate On The Other Hand Was On My Chest Looking Up At Me.

"Mommy, When Daddy Come Back?" By Far The Hardest Question I Have Ever Had To Answer. I Honestly Didn't Know The Answer. So I Winged It And Hoped That I Was Telling The Truth.

"Daddy Will Be Back Soon,"  I Told My Son Whom Was Looking Into My Eyes As If He Was Trying To See If I Was Being Truthful Or Not.

"He Say Dat (That) I Have To Pwotech (Protect) You And Tister (Sister). He Say I Have To Be A Big Boy For You."

"You Are My Big Boy And I Love You Very Much Baby. I'm Sure Daddy Would Be Very Proud Of You. He Would Also Want You To Get Some Sleep So Let's Pray And Go Night Night Okay."

"Okay. Dear GOD, I Pway Dat You Keep Daddy And Untles (Uncles) Safe On Dere (Their) Trip So Dey Can Come Back Home. Pway For Auntie And Cousins. No Tirs (Tears) And No Sad. Amen." He Ends The Prayer. I Repeated After Him And Said My Own Silent Prayer To Myself. Nate Laid Down With His Head On My Chest And Soon Feel Asleep. I Stayed Up Later Than I Usually Would Thinking About My Uncle, My Brothers, And My Man. I Hope That They Are Okay. When The Thoughts Of Them Accidentally Or Purposely Getting Killed Slowly Tried To Creep Their Way Into My Head I Erased All Thoughts Out Of My Head And Went To Sleep. I Didn't Even Dream. Maybe I Should Go To Counseling..

x Tre'Vonte Point Of View x

 "What You Doing Over There Boy?" Kieth Asked Me. He Just Fucking Stupid. How Long Is This Damn War Gon Last. I'm Not Even Suppose To Be In The Game No More. I'm Suppose To Be At Home. With My Beautiful Ass Girlfriend And My Beautiful And Handsome Ass Kids.The Shit Might Get Me Killed And He Wanna Know What I'm Doing. BITCH I'M REMINISCING! That's What I Wanted To Say.

" Nothing Man. I Just Want To Get This War Shit Over With. You Find Out Where These Niggas Main Trap Is At? The Leader Name?" I Asked Him Still Looking At A Picture Of Sha'Nae And My Kids. They Looked Beautiful. I Was So Into The Picture I Didn't See Anything Until It Was To Late. 

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"Get Off Me Man Damn!!" I Screamed.

"You See This. Thinking Of Family Will Get You Killed Out Here Boy. You Should Be Working. Getting Shit Together, Cleaning Guns, Or Something. Nae Got Them Kids And So You Say, You Got Her. Don't Be Stupid And Get Killed. Sha'Nae Might Really Go Crazy. You Got Somebody Who Waiting For You. After This Your Out. This Life Ain't For You No More." Kieth Said While Choking Me. I Struggled To Get Out Of His Grasp. After A Couple Minutes He Let Me Go. I Coughed And Gasped, Trying To Get Air Into My Lungs. Nigga Choked The Shit Outta Me. Goddamn.

"Why You Have To Choke Me Man?" I Spat At Him.

"Had To Do Something To Get My Point Across. You Were Distracted. Never Get Distracted. Never Let Your Guard Down. Every Minute Your Here Is A Risk Of Your Life Being Taken Away From You. Keep Your Eyes And Ears Open At All Times. If You Don't, You'll Be Surrounded By Niggas Or Even Females,  Who Won't Think Twice About Killing You Or Setting You Up."  Kieth Went A Little Over Board But I Do Understand. This Game Is Dangerous. I Can't Think About Sha'Nae Or My Twins. They Bring Out A Vulnerable Side Of Me That No Enemy Should See. I Have To Handle Business And I Can't Do That With Other Things On My Mind. I Grabbed My Gun And Left Out The Room. I Walked To Where My Brothers Were Posted. Maine Was Cleaning Fresh Blood Off Of His Gun And Tre Was Sharpening His Knives. His Guns Lay On The Table In Front Of Us Looking Brand New.

"Where You Been At Bruh?" Tre Asked Looking Up At Me.

"I Was Talking To Kieth. After This I'm Out. I Need To Get My Shit Together. I Can't Put Them In Danger. Niggas'll Go After All Of You When Your In. Ain't None Of Mine Dying On My Accord." I Replied 

"I Was Thinking About Leaving Too," Tre'Maine Said. We Looked At Tre. He Focused His Attention On His Knives Which Were Already Pretty Sharp. He Looked At Us.

" What The Fuck Y'all Staring At? Even If I Get Out, Even If Y'all Get Out Niggas Still Gon' Be After Y'all. I Don't Think I Want To Get Out. Ain't Shit Out There For Me Bro. I Ain't Got No College Degree. This The Only Job That's Going To Keep My Bills Paid. I'm Good With Selling Drugs And Killing Enemies. Y'all Can Have That Real Job Shit. I Don't Think I'm Getting Out. I'll Protect Mines.That's One Thing I Am Sure About." He Told Us. I Wanted To Smack His Ass. Shardae Going To Leave His Ass Just Watch.

"Nigga You Stupid," Me And Tre'Maine Told Him Before Walking Out Of The Room. He Going To Learn One Day. This Life Gon' Catch Up With Him. 

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