Lost and Returned (Ouran High School Host Club love story)

Chapter 14

"Haruhi, are you a girl? I don't mean to offend you or anything, it's your business, but I'm curious." I watched the person in front of me for a moment, Tamaki was commonly trying to get Haruhi in girl's clothes and I had heard him refer to Haruhi as 'daughter' on occasion- though never too loudly. Now I didn't care if Haruhi was a cross dresser or anything of the sort, but I had been pondering it for a while now, and not knowing was kind of annoying. Haruhi watched me for a moment before laughing light heartedly.

"Sorry I guess I forgot you didn't know, but yeah biologically speaking I'm a girl. The guys thought I was a dude when I first ended up there, and that's how I ended up being a host long story short." He- Uh She seemed pretty light hearted about all of this, but Haruhi made it obvious that appearances weren't her first priority, that she truly cared more about her studies than anything else. I nodded. "I guess up till now the guys could seem even weirder than they normally do." Well they definitely seemed more perverted and strange when I thought they were just trying to force Haruhi into girl's clothes, but I suppose it made sense now, honestly a lot of things did. 

"A bit if I'm being honest. I just wanted to clear that up before I jumped to any conclusions." Really that was all, I wasn't interested in causing any issues between people and jumping to different outcomes without having all of the information. Plus it lessened my concerns about their strange behavior when it came to Haruhi, I was waiting for them to try and put me in some ridiculous outfit with how often they try and do that with Haruhi. So far though I've been lucky enough not to have that happen. 

"It's fine, I really should have mentioned it sooner, but I just don't think about it. It's not really something that's important to me." Well she made that obvious, it seemed like anything that wasn't school or basic needs wasn't that important to her. She could seem kind of bland and boring most of the time, but she was strong willed and independent, not to mention intelligent and dedicated. She knew what she wanted and worked hard to achieve it, she was responsible and honest. Really Haruhi was a good person, she just needed to get out more and do a  few new things every once and a while. Though coming from me that was ironic. I was practically a hermit whenever I could help it, but then again I didn't expect or want anything from life. I may talk now, but I was still just trying to get to the next day, I didn't care about the future, I don't think I'll really have one at this rate. I do well in school and in activities because that's whats become expected of me and I thought it would appease my family- mainly my mother, but the habit of being alone and keeping everyone away from me was a hard one to break. I also wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to break it either. Everyone leaves, maybe not of their own will or on purpose, but no duo was forever. Nothing could last forever, everything had to die or fade eventually. "Hey are you okay?"

"Huh?" I looked up, I had spaced out at some point during my inner rant, how long had I just been staring at the paper in front of me without doing anything. "Yeah, I just started drifting off I guess. Sorry." Straight and to the point, I was still bad about putting any real thought into anything I said or did, I definitely wasn't an extrovert, I was kind of cut and dry, similar to Haruhi, but a worse version of the original. 

"You know it has been nice having another girl in the club, or to be more accurate, another sane person around. It's a relief from all the craziness that happens with those guys, but they are good guys, just a handful." I didn't know where this had come from, but her tone was thoughtful, she wasn't the type to just say something out of the blue though, she had to have a point. "I think you might have more fun there if you opened up a bit more. I don't know a lot about you, so I can't really tell you what to do, but some of them have started to obsess with trying to make you happier at the club after the incident with the twins a little while ago." Oh so that's where this was heading, the 'you need to be happier' statement. People controlled how they felt and how they were perceived, but it was hard for me to just be happy. Maybe I liked being how I was, or maybe I just didn't think I deserved to be happier. "It was nice to see you laugh the other day, you really do seem mad or upset most of the time."

"Things aren't that simple." As cliche as that is, they weren't at least not for me. It wasn't just a matter of letting go, if I let go, I was afraid of what I was going to be losing. I made a promise long ago, and now it was getting hard to keep, how do you keep a promise to someone that's long gone? 

"I figured as much, but maybe this beach trip would be good way to let go a bit. It really isn't my thing, but I think it could be a nice way for you to get out." It was almost ironic that she was the one telling me to go out and do things, really she would probably be married to the library if she wasn't in the club with the others, she didn't seem like the type that made plans to go out and do things like this, she just was dragged into it by the others. 

"Maybe so, but I have to ask my mother. Though now I can tell her that at least one girl is going." Though that probably won't keep her from worrying about me, but she should know by now that I wasn't interested in relationships. They were a waste of time, and really I couldn't force someone to stay with me, not if I really cared about them. 

"I figured as much, but it would be nice for you to go, if only for my sake." Haruhi chuckled a bit, but seeing how she was bombarded with outfits earlier I get her concern. Though I'll need to at least purchase a swimsuit, but I doubt I'll be doing much swimming, hm. Maybe I'll skip the swimsuit, that way I have a reason I can't go swimming.