Connor x Reader !ONESHOTS!

♡☂RK900 - The Confession☂♡

 "Conan, please," You start, looking the android in his eyes. Your voice came out hushed and horse, it wasn't as intimidating as you wanted it to sound and you knew that.

"You are... Too close. You make me feel so many things and it's... I feel like I can tell you everything, b-but I.." You gulp and grip onto the collar of your shirt. Your eyes avert away from Conan's face, you couldn't bear to look at him anymore.

"I-I just... Don't want to. You.. Y-You've given me something that I haven't had in a long time. Is it selfish of me to hide things from you so I can hold onto what your presence has done to heal me?" You admit, looking back up at Conan's face. He looked conflicted. His eyebrows were furrowed into a thoughtful expression, and his LED light whirled from yellow, to red, and back to yellow.

"(Y/n), I want you to talk to me. I don't care what you say, I'm not going to run the other way. I'm content staying here. With you. As your partner, as your friend, as someone you can talk to." Conan speaks, and you bite your lip.

"But Conan-"

"(Y/n) please-"

"Conan I'm scared!"

Your volume surprised both of you. Tears rolled down your cheeks as you breathed heavily, your hands clenched into fists as your jaw stayed taught. Silence filled the room as you tried to calm yourself down. You didn't want to explode like this, but all these emotions were all coming out. Everything you've held in for years since the day Hank adopted you. Like a shaken bottle, you had to explode eventually. You tried to hold the cap on for years, but the soda was shaken to hard this time.

"But, (Y/n), you don't have to be scared," Conan whispered. As his words cut through the silence, the cap popped off the bottle.

"I hate me! I hate everything about me! I'm a useless piece of nothing that just takes up space! I'm a useless cop! I wish I was never born, then nobody would have to put up with me. I've gone through hell and back, I'm not the person I used to be. I just wish I could be normal again, I wish I could push past everything that happened. I wish I didn't have to endure so much shit as a kid. I wish I would have been strong enough to block the hits, the kicks, the punches, the pain. I wish I could have run away from home sooner, I wish Hank had taken me in sooner, I wish Hank was my real dad!" You cried. Crocodile tears rolled down your cold pale cheeks as you heaved in and out. Your body was shaking, you felt dizzy and sick. You were so enveloped in your thoughts that you couldn't register anything around you.

"I never wanted any of it." You continue as you bring your palm up to your eyes to wipe away the tears.

"I didn't know how to cope. There wasn't any way that I was going to off myself. Hank and Connor would be devastated. I had to find other things to do until I worked up the courage to pull the trigger. It started out little. Smacking myself whenever I said something dumb or pulling my fingers back until it hurt. Then it gradually got worse until I found a screwdriver and a pencil sharpener." You admit.

"I cut myself, that's why you saw so many pencil sharpeners in my drawers when you first came. Speaking of it.. You." You paused and drew a deep breath in.

"When we first met, I was terrified of you because you reminded me of what I had to go through before being adopted by Hank. However, you quickly changed that day." You explain.

"As the days went by, I realized something growing inside of me. It was.. New to me. I get this butterfly feeling in my gut whenever you smile at me, my heart races every time you get close to me, and I just... I-I found a reason to keep going embedded in these feelings."

"You gave me a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and now I feel so excited to get ready for the day. I get giddy when I think about going to work, and I haven't felt so much... Joy in a long time. I feel so motivated by the thought of you... And it scares me. What if I scare you away by telling you everything? What will happen? Will I be excited to get up anymore? Will I be able to stand by your side anymore? Will I be able to live with the feeling of emptiness when you run the other way?"

"Conan, I've never felt this way about someone before. I just.. I care about you so much. I want to be close to you. I want to talk to you all the time. I want to share moments with you, laugh with you, create memories with you... I want to feel your hand in mine, I want to be held by you, and I.." You trail off. Conan is staring at you with widened eyes, raised eyebrows, and his jaw parted ever so slightly.

"I know these feelings aren't returned. Now that I've told you everything, I know you'll want to leave. Just know that it's okay. You can go. I can't keep you, and that's... Hard. But I'll learn how to deal with it." You whisper, looking away from Conan.

There's more silence, and you can't stand it. What does Conan think about all of this? When will he go? What will he do?- Your thoughts are cut off by the sound of sniffling. Your head shoots up to look at Conan, who's desperately trying to wipe his own tears away. You blink, feeling guilty for making him cry.

"Conan-" your cut off by the android lunging himself at you. He holds you in a tight embrace, his tears soak your shoulder as he latches onto the back of your shirt.

"(Y-Y/n) I would never leave you. I care about you so much, I-I just can't stand to see you so sad." Conan breaths out between cries. He pulls away from the hug and puts a hand on your cheek. You lean into his gentle touch as he wipes your stray tears away with his thumb.

"I-I'm so.. Lucky. I thought I was the only one between the two of us who felt.. Attracted. Ever since you stood up for me to Hank the first day we met, I felt.. Warm and fuzzy. I had these... Urges to do things like hold your hand or embrace you. I just.. I like you, detective. More than a friend." Conan admits as he gives you a hearty smile.

"(Y/n) I'm in love with you."

Upon hearing these words, you stare at him for a moment. You open your mouth to speak, but all that comes out is a loud sob as you lean deeper into his touch. You press your hand to his hand on your cheek. Conan puts his other hand on your cheek and touches his forehead to yours as the two of you weep. He wipes your tears away with his thumb and you smile. You were crying, but it wasn't from sadness anymore. You were sobbing tears of joy as he held your face in his hands because this is all you've ever wanted.

"C-Conan I'm in love with you too." You breathe through your tears. Before you could utter another word, you suddenly feel his lips press on yours. Your eyes widen in shock before you melted into the kiss. His lips were warm and soft- unlike what you had expected them to feel like. Your lips move in sync with his, almost as if you two were so connected that it was meant to be. After a minute, you both pull away for air. You weren't crying anymore, and nor was Conan. The two of you just sat there for a moment, panting and blushing. As Conan held your face in his hands, all he could do is stare at your face. It was so tired, so pale and wet, but as he looked into your eyes, all he could see was love.

"We should probably get you fixed up." Conan finally said as his icy blue eyes flickered to your sliced up forearm. You flinch for a moment, but then you nod in agreement.

"Y-Yeah, that'd be helpful."

And just like that, you felt Conan swiftly move to lift you up into his arms. You squeak in surprise, to which Conan chuckles. You poke his cheek and huff angrily, and he pokes your cheek back with a dorky grin on his blushy face. You recall the first day you two met, how cold Conan's expression was as he looked down at your shaking figure. Oh, how the times have changed.