Can You Save Me?

Chapter 9

I've been out of the hospital for about a month now, and Louis and I were as strong as ever. Natalie and I have gotten very close, and  its so nice having a girl friend who I can tell everything too. Niall was my best guy friend out of the boys. He would listen whenever I needed to talk. I woke up around an hour ago, and I was just laying next to Lou in bed, looking at him sleep. If you're wondering, no we haven't had sex yet. As much as I want to, I don't want to ruin a good thing. I leaned over and kissed his sleeping face. As I pulled away, he grabbed me and pulled me back. 

'Trying to be sneeky, huh?" He teased, kissing me all over. Laughing, I rolled over, and got out of bed. 

"I'm taking you out tonight," He said, grinning mischievously. Oh great, I know that face. He's planning something. 

"Let me guess," I started. "It's a surprise?" Everytime Lou took me out, it was always a surprise. Don't get me wrong, I love surprises as long as they aren't for me.  He nodded, smiling. 

"You love it really," He said, putting his arms around my waist and pulling me back. 

"In your dreams, loverboy," I said, kissing him. Immediatly kissing me back,  he rolled us over so he was on top. Our lips moved together slowly. He traced the bottom of my lip for entrance, to which I slightly opened my mouth. This kiss was different. It was powerful, like it was truly expressing our love for each other. He caressed me, kissing my lips, my neck. His hands slipped under my shirt, as we moved together. He took his shirt off, and looked at me, asking for permission. I nodded, and he slipped mine off. We continued to kiss and caress each other until we were only in our underwear. When one thing was about to lead to another, the door flew open. These boys have issues with knocking. 

"Ahhh my eyes," Niall screamed, running away. Natalie started laughing, still at the doorway.

"Get it guys!," Oh my god. This was mortifying. Embarrassed, we relaxed back onto the bed. While laying on Louis chest, he traced the scars on my thigh. 

"I love you so much," He said, looking down at me. 

"I love you too BooBear," I said. And I meant him. I truly felt like he could save me. 

"How did I get so lucky?" He asked. I looked at him incrediously. 

"How did you get lucky? You didn't, I did. Lou, I'm broken. I spend half the time wishing I could end my life instead of live it. Then I met you," I smiled. "I believe that you are my guardian angel. That you can save me," He looked at me seriously.

"Harmony, I can say the same thing to you. You deserve the best. Before I met you, I just felt so lost. I was searching for answers that couldn't be answered. I wanted to know my purpose in life. I wanted a sign. And I met you. You are my sign.  You're my guardian angel." Tears threatened to shed from my eyes. He had no idea how much that meant to me. He traced his thumb under my eyes, whiping away my tears. 

"You're too beautiful to cry," he kissed me and got up out of the bed. "Now get ready, I'm taking you out to breakfeast." He skipped downstairs so I could take a shower. I got undressed and got in. 

I would be lying if I said that I haven't cut or thrown up since I left the hospital. Of course I'm trying to recover, but I have my good days and bad days. I know it kills Lou when he sees my cuts, and it kills me to see him upset. I always wonder what he sees in me. Whatever he sees, I'm glad he sees it. He has started to open my eyes, that there are good things in the world. I started to loose hope in love. I got dressed and headed downstairs. Natalie and the boys were sitting at the table, eating. Well, besides Lou because he was taking me out. I went around the table, hugging every boy and kissing their cheek. Well besides Liam. Yes, I'm still holding a grudge. I smiled at him though. I  just wanted to let go of all this hate I felt for myself and from others. 

"Are you ready,love?" Louis asked, taking my hand. I nodded and we took off. While he was driving, he took my hand. 

"I love you," He said simply. i loved it so much when he said that. 

"I love you too, Boo," I replied smiling. This made him smile. I looked out the window, to the sky. it was rainy, but you could see a bit of sunshine peeking out. It was like after all of the bad things that happened to me,  there still was hope. That maybe one day things could get better. This moment, looking up at the sky was pure healing. Like it was God telling me "it's okay"

"What're you thinking of?" He asked gently. I looked over at him, with a hint of a smile. 

"You." I said simply. He laughed quietly and squeezed my hand. We sat in a comfortable silence until we got to the resteraunt. Lou ordered for us both, and my heart started racing when it got here. There was so much food. All I could think of was how fat i was going to be if I ate it. I looked at Lou, my eyebrows raised. 

"You're eating it. No buts," He declared. Great. if I eat this then I'm going to get fat and he's going to leave me, just like everyone else. Tears pricked in my eyes. He took my hands, alerted with threatning tears. 

"Shh its okay. I'm sorry, but you need to eat. You're not going to get fat. I love you the way you are, and if anything you're too small." It was like he read my mind. "How about you only eat half, okay?" I nodded thankfully. Slowly, I ate about half, as Lou devoured his meal in minutes. After I finished, I excused myself to the bathroom. Louis followed me. 

"What are you doing?" i asked. He looked at me sternly. 

"You are not going to throw up, okay?" God this was so embarrassing. Its nice that he cares though.  I thought for a minute, unsure of what to say. He got down on his knee, and took my hand. 

"harmony, I promise to love you for who you are. I promise to always be there. for your bad days and good days. I promise to love you as much as my heart can. I promise to cherish your love for eternity. I promise to be there for you at your lowest. I promise to believe in you," He took out a ring and placed it on my finger. A promise ring. "I dont promise to only love you," He said. "Because I'll also love another girl, she'll look like you. She'll have you're eyes and my smiled. And she'll call you "mommy'" He smiled. "And lastly, I promise that one day I will marry you." Not knowing what to say, I just leaned down and kissed him passionatly. intertwining our hands, we left together. 

"You know that I love you, right?" I said, looking at him. He smiled, moving a piece of hair out of my face. 

"I sure hope so, because I love you more than life itself." Smiling, we continued walking. I looked up at the sky to see that the sunshine that was peeking out earlier had now overcome the rainy sky.