Applying for a Daddy

15

Colby was standing over me. He was very angry. He was yelling and screaming and throwing things. He turned away from me, his head in his hands. I was standing in my room. Things were broken and destroyed and I was crying. "You disgust me! You horrible little girl!" Colby shouted. His words didn't sound like his own. "You are nothing but a problem!" He shouted again. He kept yelling at me. He turned to me gave me a look, a look of hatred. "What do you have to say for yourself!?" He screamed. "Sir, I'm sorr-" I was cut off by his hand colliding with my cheek.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I woke up in a panic. I was expecting Colby to be in bed beside me. He wasn't. In fact I was in my room, on the beanbag chair. I had been sweating, and crying. I forgot that I was in trouble and wasn't allowed to sleep with Colby right now. I was grounded, a new grounding. I was out with Ricky and the girls, last night and got very drunk and someone tried to make a move on me. I don't remember much besides the guy approaching me and Ricky punching him when he wouldn't let go of me. Ricky had apparently brought me straight home but I hadn't asked Colby for permission to drink or checked in for an hour and a half. So I got in trouble once I sobered up. I wasn't allowed my phone or computer, no tv and no going out with the house.

I got up and walked out of the room, still crying. I was met by Sam and Jake in the kitchen. "Harper? Harper what's wrong?" Jake asked. Sam turned to me and almost knocked the chair over trying to get to me. I backed away from him quickly and fell to the ground. Hiding in the corner, gripping my knees to my chest. I started hearing ringing in my ears, I couldn't breathe and I was whimpering like a lost puppy. Sam ran upstairs as Jake stayed and sat across from me, I could see his mouth moving but nothing was coming out. All I heard was a high pitched ringing. The next thing I knew, Colby was in front of me with Sam. Colby reaches out for me but I backed away as much as I could, hitting my head on the wall. He put his hands up in a way to tell me he won't touch me. I nodded as I continued crying, I still couldn't breathe. Colby turned to Sam and said something, then pulled out his phone. I rocked back and forth for what felt like hours.

I saw Maddie squat in front of me and I lunges to her. Wrapping my arms around her neck and crying into her shoulder. Maddie picked me up and walked me to my room. Closing the door behind us. I sat down and took a deep breath, the ringing in my ears finally stopping.
"Harper Lee, what happened?" She asked, holding her hands on my shoulders. "Did he hurt you?" She said before I could answer her first question.
"No! No...I just...had a bad dream." I said, as she wiped my tears.
I told her everything, the dream and the panic attack and how I was grounded. She sighed and hugged me.
"Harper he's not Harry, and he's definitely not Daniel."

Harry was a younger caregiver, he was 19 when I was 16. He thought that I owed him sex, all the time. So I left, and when I did he told everyone I was a slut.

Daniel....Daniel was 28 when I was 18. He was a big hotshot as his office and went out to fancy charity parties. He was abusive and horrible and I couldn't leave because he threatened to hurt my friends. I was with him until he finally got rid of me when I turned 20. I was apparently not good enough.

I nodded slowly as she helped me calm down. Telling me that Colby would never hurt me, or leave me.
"Can you send Colby in..." I asked softly. She nodded as she stood up and walked out. I waited a few minutes and then Colby came rushing in. I stood up and he immediately wrapped me in a hug. "Baby..." He let out a breath. "Colby I'm-" "No, don't apologize. You have no reason to." He cut me off. We stood there hugging, Colby kissed my cheek and forehead a few times. Other than that the room was silent. I cried more, but happy tears.

We finally walked out and Sam was waiting by the doorway in the kitchen with Jake and Maddie. He hugged me, asking if I was okay. I nodded and hugged him back, my one hand still holding Colby's. Sam had called Kat and she arrived a few minutes after the panic attack, with food. She brought me my favorite, waffles. I thanked her and went to sit down. Colby moved right next to me and placed a hand on my leg, making sure to be very gentle. I ate quietly, tears welling up in my eyes again. I blinked them away as Maddie rubbed my back. Colby leaned his head against my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my waist. I smiled softly before taking a bite of food.