Anytime Now

010. Shallow

My feelings, stirred up, like a boil of emotions

And the spoon is one of invisibility

Swiftly whisking away at my feelings

And I can't help when I cry

Or smile

Or laugh

Or frown.

Because sometimes it seems as if someone else is controlling my feelings

All because that's how shallow I tend to be

It's not me who controls my own feelings...

It's you.

You hold the strings to the spoon

You contain the pot that boils my sentiment.

And I just can't seem to help it-

That it's so easy to just

Poke right through me.

And see everything I feel

All my shallowness

Is too much in depth

And has too many reasons

And excuses as to why

It is as it is.

Because my feelings hold a sincerity

That only you seem to disregard

And that is why

I will never learn to love

Or hold myself

In such a manner you do yourself

With poise, and self-endearment

Because you ruined it all for me

And I just can't seem to let it go

Because I am just so,

So Shallow

...

So forgive me if I cannot seem to bring myself to

Apologize in the way you'd have liked

It's only necessary

For a person such as me

To be so stupid, and naive.

Because of how shallow I just-

Seem to be.

Forgive me-

If I grieve for myself

While you waste away

Everything that used to be

What I loved about myself.

Oh, just forgive me once-

If I tend to overlook you

Because I am busy

With taking care of myself

Because I just can't seem to shake

This definition of myself

With the name-

Shallow.