Open Up | Taekook

Chapter 21

Jungkook POV

Feeling Tae connect our lips once more, I'm beyond befuddled at this point. He has a date with Yoongi. He's spent all his time and attention and energy on our hyung. Hell, he's hardly paid me any attention since his first day here. Yet... He's here kissing me instead...

It just makes the tears fall faster, confused and completely not understanding what the hell he's trying to do as he locks our lips together once more. I can't stop myself from whimpering at my own confusion of the situation, reluctantly kissing him back. I feel him reach up and cup my cheeks though, running the pads of his thumbs across my cheeks and gently wiping away my tears as our lips move together perfectly.

I hate this. I hate how good it feels. How right and perfect it feels. I hate how much I don't want him to stop, how much I just want him to forget about the date and just stay here with me. How vulnerable he actually makes me feel, the first person to have done that since my ex from high school.

I can only take it for so long though, soon finding myself whimpering and pushing him away once more as I move backwards on my bed to get further away from him. I wish it were in a way that's more so inviting him into the bed with me, wishing the circumstances weren't what they are. But, it's not as such, and I can't just take someone away from Yoongi. He's been through enough in his life, and it's on him to make his own damn decisions. This is for him and Yoongi hyung to sort out, not for me to simply try and steal him away.

Though, it breaks my heart, seeing the hurt and confusion in Tae's eyes as he looks at me. His lips are parted but still in a pout form, heartbreak in his eyes as he stares at me.

"You have a date with Yoongi, Tae. You're late and you should be going if you wanna have any chance at keeping a good impression with him. He's the one you've wanted from the very beginning. So just go." I mutter quietly, looking away from him as I speak. I glance over towards his unmade bed, memories from this morning when I'd entered my room to find them curled up together flooding my mind. It causes more tears to fall, only now realizing just how much I actually fell for Tae without even realizing it. How much more there was to this than just my growing attached. Yet, it kills me that much more, knowing this may just be harder to come back from than when my ex broke up with me.

"Jungkook, I don't want Yoongi anymore. I... I just want you." Tae murmurs softly, still feeling his gaze on me. I tilt my head back as more tears fall, growing even more afraid of this.

"What? So you just want what's available to you? Use someone and play with them for a bit until the next fucking toy comes along? Is that all either of us are to you? Is just something that's there for the time to be used until you find something else that catches your fucking attention?" I question weakly, my voice cracking as I stare up at the ceiling hopelessly.

The one time Jimin could finally win the battle he's been having with me for years now over getting me to let someone in, to open myself back up to someone and not be completely alone forever. The one fucking time he could've finally won that damned battle, and everything has to be all fucked up to hell. I whimper at the thought, hating myself for all of this. For being so weak, being so dumb and stupid. For falling for what had clearly been a trap from day one.

"Kookie, I'm not using or playing with either of you though. I-I know it looks bad, having prepared for a date with Yoongi and now deciding I want you. B-but, I promise that hadn't been my intentions at all. Everything feels right with you, Jungkook. More so than how they felt with Yoongi. I was just too damn blind that first night to be able to recognize what kind of hell I was setting myself up for." Tae argues gently, a worried look on his face as he watches me.

I shake my head at this though, not wanting to believe any of it. Not believing any of it. I mean, how can you fucking fall for someone you barely know? Someone who's quite clearly a little fucked with life right now?

Not even bothering to respond to him, I climb out of bed and head for the door, my heart breaking slightly when I don't hear him trying to follow after me. I don't bother turning back or complaining about it, knowing I just need Jimin right now. I need someone who can take care of me, who knows how to handle me in this kind of state, someone who can do and say all the right things to calm me down.

So, crossing the hall, I don't bother knocking on his door. Instead, I simply open the door right up, being completely caught off guard when I find him and Yoongi hyung together. They're in the middle of a heated make out session that I have no doubts will lead to more considering both their shirts have already been removed.

Swallowing down another whimper, I quietly shut their door before whining loudly, heading down the hallway towards the stairs. If I don't have someone who knows how to handle me right now, someone who genuinely cares for me, then I just need to leave. Leave the house altogether and go try to find a way to calm the fuck down on my own.