MiniShaw - Kill These Feelings

Part 5 - Still Confused

*Sorry I've decided this book also deserves some Vobi, but don't worry the MiniShaw ship will also sail soon.*

 

   Vikk's POV:
  I smiled slightly as I looked over to see the two had fallen asleep together for the second time. They really are meant to be, but Simon's determined to not accept it yet. Tobi and me weren't really accepting our feelings either. I think we'd both liked each other for a long time before either of us said so. I still wish I'd not blurted out that I like him over the phone, but we talked all night that night and he asked if I wanted to go on a date when he got back. Of course, with everything else happening I told him it might have to wait. I can't ever tell whether these two are on the verge of fucking or fighting and I promised I'd take care of them.

   "Oh shit, did I fall asleep? Why is Simon mostly under me?" Harry asked and yawned before standing up.
  "You fell asleep like that and I wasn't going to bother with moving you." I explained as Simon sat up and stretched.
  "Yo, did somebody move my blanket?" Si asked as their eyes locked for a second. I can usually tell whether people are into each other or not, but they have  managed to break my gaydar.
  "Your blanket moved itself, mate." I said as he looked confused before turning to Harry..
  "We should honestly probably talk about the whole cuddling and getting me flowers thing at some point..." Harry said as I started feeling bad for bringing it up again.

  Tobi texted to let me know he was on his way back from the airport and was starving, so I told them and ordered a pizza. They were just awkwardly staring at the floor both standing up still. I was expecting them to just stay like that, but Harry grabbed Simon by the wrist and drug him away.

   Simon's POV:
I pull away and start to ask what the fuck he's doing, but he says something before I can.
  "You buy me pink flowers and have fallen asleep with me twice in the past twenty four hours. When I came out you seemed shocked. You promised not to leave, but you were gone for an hour and I just want to know what the fuck you're thinking right now." Harry whisper shouted as I tried to think of some sort of explanation because honestly I don't know what I'm thinking.
  "The flowers were the nicest ones and I guess I've just been tired and I mean so much had happened..." He cut me off with a slap and I stumbled a bit.
  "If you don't know just say you don't. I'm tired of all of these fucking stupid things you say that make no sense." Harry told me.
  "I don't know. I'm not sure what the hell I'm feeling or why I'm feeling it." After admitting that it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
  "Good. Now, I like you and I'm tired of fighting my feelings. Over the course of that small amount of time I'd thought I'd lost you I determined I no longer gave a shit and Vikk literally threatened to tie me to a chair because I was loosing it. If you want to hit me or run away again then go for it." Harry closed his eyes like he was expecting me to hurt him or poof out of existence, but I couldn't do that to him again.
  "If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that you deserve to be happy and not have to put up with me." I replied as I hugged him tightly and felt him rest his head on my shoulder.
  "Thank you, but I want to put up with you because you put up with me. I want to be happy again and I want you to be happy and I feel like that keeps getting ruined for no reason." He told me as we held onto each other.

The moment was lost almost too soon as Vikk called out that Tobi was here with pizza. I'm guessing it's best to act like nothing happened until I work things out in my head. I like him, but I'm straight, so I can't like him. It's like I like who he is and he's honestly got a nice butt but that doesn't mean I like guys. They say I'm coming up with excuses but if I'm thinking of them as not excuses are they still excuses? Now I've gotten myself confused. What I did with JJ felt good, but I don't like him like that, so I assumed it felt good because I was horny and moved on. Maybe Harry has the type of thing I've been looking for? Is this why other relationships have been a bore or felt like something's missing? I don't know.
 
  "Holy shit?! Y'all are a thing?!" I realized I've been following Harry but too zoned out to pay attention.
  "Sorry, uh, meant to tell you." Vikk is blushing like a school girl and Tobi is fixing his hat, so I can assume they were kissing. Glad someone's happy and not confused and weirded out by themselves.
  "Let's eat, I'm starving." Tobi says as he passes out plates.
  "So, like, how long have you been a thing?" Harry asked as we sat ourselves on the couch and Vikk sat himself in Tobi's lap on the chair.
  "Talked about it a few days ago, but I guess just now we made it official." Vikk answered as he handed Tobi the remote to pick something.
  "Awe, that's adorable." Hazzy told them.

Nobody noticed I was being quiet and soon almost everyone was focused on the movie. My eyes were focused on the person to my right who had just barely taken two bites of his pizza. His eyes were dull and he seemed to be staring off into space. As soon as I noticed him start to scratch at his bandages, I took his hand and squeezed it gently. He looked over at me and I just rubbed my thumb over his. He tucked his head into my shoulder and I moved my arm around him. For the first time I was wide awake and we were cuddling. It felt right, like we fit somehow, but I couldn't help the voice in the back of my head telling me how wrong it was.