(before the real intro starts, I'm going to give some background or this will make even less sense than it already does. At the school I go to, there is a group of extremely conservative teenagers who call themselves "The Thunder Squad" and they're just really..... never mind. Anyways, this whole school year, they've been writing a fan fiction called The Adventures of The Thunder Squad and legit everyone from school is in it. So literally all of the characters in this book AND The Thunder Squad's book are real people and their personalities are only slightly exaggerated. They actually just posted the final edited story today and it's actually pretty good! But like a week ago, some of the kids who don't really like the thunder squad decided to make a fan fic mocking the members of the thunder squad, and this is it. It's really really funny if you personally know the people they're making fun of because it's all low-key true. But this story caused a lot of drama because the thunder squad was REALLY offended by it. But it's still iconic so I'm posting it. Now, on with the story)
It was Monday, and nearly a hundred Veritas Scholars were conversing in the High School Discussion Hall. Abruptly, the peaceful murmurs of the day were ripped apart by the obnoxious sound of the 'Thunder Squad' tramping into the hall.
Logan Wright dashed in, screa-wait, that's too unmanly-hollering. Elisha McFarland followed behind, waving a sign. He'd written "Romance is an Obscenity" on his cardboard sheet and scribbled hearts with knives in them on the borders. Karleigh Provost, Beau Henneman, Francis Platt, and Grace Salter straggled behind, displaying more signs that read:
"Gun Wrights for Thunder Squad"
"Moderation is Botheration"
"Down With the Tyranny"
And, with a large X scrawled over it, "Libtards"
The band was fully armed with various intimidating weapons, like foil swords, Nerf guns, and Frisbee shields. Elisha had a large orange Nerf gun strapped on his vest. Logan held a large, spotted banana in his right hand.
As Logan waved the banana around and his group yelled their respective sign's lines, the discussioners stared at him in bewilderment. Mistaking their confusion for fear, Logan aimed his banana at the nearest group (consisting of Colin Barras, Hannah Mitchell, and Kevin Jun) and yelled, "Defend your country! We need gun Wrights!"
Colin looked at the soft yellow weapon and shook his head. "Logan... that's a banana."
"You're a banana, you pathetic liberal!" Logan retorted.
Cheers broke out from the Thunder Squab as they applauded his fantastic roast. From their medieval-style-banquet table, high above the rest of the discussion Hall, the moderators looked on, ready to jump if things got 'out of hand.' One moderator stood up and strode to the back of the room, where a large copy of the Discussion Hall Guidelines were posted. Slowly and deliberately, the moderator began to reiterate them aloud.
The hubbub of the Thunder Squad began to die down as they listened to the ominous reading of the moderator.
Elisha shouted, "We haven't broken any rules! Why don't you go pick on Benjamin Warren instead for his SPAM?"
Beau nudged him. "Katherine Dowling is giving us the eye."
Logan sighed. "I think it is time to make a tactical retreat."
He began to make for the exit, but not after a final jab in the moderators' direction with his banana. "We'll be back!"
Disappointed, the rest of the Thunder Squad gathered their weaponry and left the hall."What a bunch of idiots," Kevin declared.
Hannah Mitchell shook her head in judgmental silence.
