Grace
My nerves were strung tight, and even though I wanted to do this—I wanted Jackson’s body pressed against mine—everything I’d ever been taught was racing through my mind, telling me of the flaws in the activities I was about to partake in.
You’re still legally married.
He’s dangerous.
You are not this girl.
You’re a good girl.
I silenced the voices in my head as best I could, because this good girl was tired of being tame. For once in my life, I wanted to roam in the wild and see what it felt like to be uncensored.
“You okay?” he asked.
I nodded slowly. “I’m okay.”
“Good.” He proceeded to walk toward me, slowly, with no missteps. “Now sit down on the edge of my bed.” I did as he said, and he kneeled in front of me. “You’re beautiful,” he told me, and it made my skin tingle. “Do you know that, Grace? Do you know that you’re beautiful?”
I couldn’t reply. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been called such a thing, and even though I wanted to believe it, it was almost impossible to do so.
After enduring a betrayal as I have, you couldn’t help but doubt every bit of your worth, but it seemed that night, Jackson was prepared to remind me with every single touch.
He placed his hands on my bare legs and gently kissed my inner thigh before looking up at my face. “You’re nervous.”
“Yes.”
“You want me to stop?” he asked.
“No.”
His fingers rolled against my panties, and he began circling his thumb against my clit, making me shut my eyes. I lay back, falling against the mattress, and my fingers clenched the bedsheets. My heart began to race faster than I’d known possible as he slowly pulled my underwear down, allowing his warm breaths to hit me. I arched my hips toward him, but he teased me slowly.
“Patience, princess,” he whispered, kissing my inner thigh. His hands wrapped around my ankles and spread them apart. “We have all night.”
Then, with no haste, with such perfected timing, he slid his lips against my core, tasting me, sucking me, sliding his tongue slowly inside, pulling his mouth away only to bring it back seconds later.
I didn’t know it could feel like…
I didn’t know it could be so…
Ohmygosh.
“Ja…” I exhaled, grinding my hips against his mouth as he began to destroy me in the best possible way. The more I moaned, the faster his tongue slid inside. Deeper…deeper… “Yes…” My breaths were uneven as his hands wrapped tightly around my thighs and his mouth explored me even more, my hands tangling in his hair and gently pushing his head farther down.
I’d never felt anything like that…had never known fingers and tongues could create such—
“Jesus!” I gasped as he slammed his tongue deep inside, faster and faster, pumping it in and out as I began to lose my grip on reality.
“No.” He smirked. “Quite the opposite, actually.”
The way he controlled every shake of my body with only his tongue…the way he pinned me down as my legs twisted and turned…the way I lost myself, and he tasted each drop—it was almost too much.
He moaned against me as if he was enjoying the act as much as I was. The more I wiggled, the more he explored, deeper and deeper, making me fall apart against his tongue.
As he pulled away, my legs trembled, and my chest rose and fell rapidly as I tried to gather myself.
“That was…that was…yeah.” I heavily breathed out. “That was…holy crap.”
He smirked as my body dripped in sweat. As he rose up from the floor, he began to unzip his jeans then slid out of them, removing his boxers next.
My eyes fell to his hardness as he licked his fingers clean, tasting me.
I knew it was foolish, but I couldn’t stop staring. I felt my cheeks heating from my desires, from my nerves, from my wants and needs, which, at the moment, seemed to be the same thing. I wanted and needed him so much.
I’d only been with one man in my lifetime, and it was no secret that Finley wasn’t working with the same type of equipment Jackson had.
He wrapped his hands around my ankles and locked his stare with mine. “That was only the appetizer.” He effortlessly flipped me over to my stomach, and I moaned gently as I felt him climb on top of me. His hardness brushed against my ass cheeks, and his lips trailed up my back before he moved in closer to my ear and whispered, “Are you ready for the main course?”
Even though I eagerly said yes, I wasn’t ready at all.
When Jackson Emery slid into me, thrusting against me, pounding deeper and deeper, I knew I was making the choices no one thought a good girl like me would’ve ever made.
I was being the opposite of what the world expected me to be, and being bad? Oh, being bad felt so good.
He slapped my ass, and I asked him for more. I wanted it harder, and he fulfilled all my requests.
He didn’t stop there…
He flipped me over again, he placed me against the wall, and he took me from every angle possible. I moaned, I cried, I begged for more and more.
He was untamed and uncensored as he fucked me hard and whispered dirty words into my ear. As he placed me on top of him, my nerves began to rise once more as my mind began to worry about his viewpoint of my body.
Yet with one small touch to my back, he lowered my face down on his and rolled his lips against mine. “You’re beautiful,” he told me once again. “Now fuck me harder than you’ve ever fucked.”
And I did.
I rode him like he was mine and mine to keep even though that was so far from the truth. Our false reality was worth it, though. Those few moments together helped my mind slow down to a speed my heartbeats could keep up with.
He wasn’t mine, and I wasn’t his, but that night, we were something. There wasn’t a name for it, only feelings.
It felt scary yet safe.
Fast yet slow.
Wrong yet still so unbelievably right.
He was able to get me off that night more times than I ever had at once in the past fifteen years of my marriage.
I now understood why bad boys were worth exploring. I understood why good girls found their way to Jackson’s front porch. Never had I known what true trembling legs felt like up until that night.
When the time came for me to leave, I got dressed, and he walked me to his front door.
“I’ll walk you home,” he offered.
“It’s okay,” I replied. I bit my bottom lip and looked up at him. “Tonight was…”
“Yeah.” He nodded and leaned against his doorframe as if he’d read my mind. “It was.”
“Is it okay if this stays between us? Our arrangement? Not because I’m ashamed or anything, but this feels like the first thing that’s just…mine.”
“Princess, come on…” He smirked, and I felt it. It was the first time I’d seen him do it, and when that small dimple appeared in his left cheek, my broken heart pieces began to skip a few beats. “Who would I even tell?”
