EMPIRE

19. Connection

I had assumed that the second we stepped away from the arena and finished briefing the Alpha in on the deal, that Roman would disappear. That he would say something, probably a threat, then simply vanish until the time came for our dreaded departure.

Instead, he had walked beside me in complete silence until we reached the house. I refused to give him even a sliver of attention and he didn't object, not when we entered the doorway nor when I left him downstairs as I hid away to pack my things.

Hiding away from one's responsibilities and situational complications is undoubtedly an act of cowardice; there is no other accurate description to be pinned on that. So, as I slide down the wall on the far side of my bedroom, eyeing out the bulging luggage bags containing my life possessions, I tell myself that I'm not hiding but rather implementing an intermission.

It's awfully ironic that the only time I've ever stopped to appreciate the life I have is when I'm a couple of hours away from being dragged from it. This home that I was born into holds memories of tragedy and happiness, though the joy was so short lived I can barely remember it. One thing after the other and my world had crumbled before me; the life that I had built on top of those ruins is my only source of happiness now.

My breath hitches in my throat the second I become aware of the inevitable downward spiral of my thoughts. The woman I had grown up side by side with would be left behind and my duty to her will be null. I had always thought that our lives would be intertwined forever, something that I now realize to be a childish and foolish fantasy. My Warriors, of whom I dedicated everything to would be left without me. They will move on, eventually forget me when their new leader comes into power. My efforts would be disregarded as a distant memory and I would never get to see them grow and flourish from up close.

My heart is thrashing wildly in my chest when I picture my second in command. The man who I had thought was destined for me the moment I laid eyes on him. Our connection was instantaneous, growing closer to become inseparable. Every thought of him was tenderly affectionate or similarly light-hearted; I should have noticed how innocent it was. There was no lust, no physical desire but rather a longing for closeness, consort, and comfort.

If only love were that simple.

Wiping my eyes from the growing wetness, I pull my knees to my chest. It's hard to breathe now as if my lungs are tightening with every thought. I want nothing more than to stay, to live out my life with my family and closest friends and chase happiness as if it were an achievable thing and not something we pretend exists so that we have the motivation to continue.

Everyone would move on, associating me with a distant memory until my name is never uttered again in friendly reference. My father would be the last of the Prospero bloodline, taking generations of our history to the grave with him.

My father. He will be alone.

My hand grips my mouth in an attempt to muffle the hitched gasps for air, squeezing my eyes closed in a desperate bid to restrict traitorous tears.

Weak. Father would be ashamed to see me like this, curled into a wall; broken by the sight of a suitcase. He trained me to disregard emotion when fulfilling my duties and responsibilities as a Wolf.

Yet here I am sniveling on the floor.

"Accalia?" The voice is distant, a quiet buzz from the screaming in my mind. Is the Moon Goddess so cruel as to curse me with a miserable life? What could I have possibly done to anger her like so?

"Accalia."

I was only a young girl when everything fell apart at the seams, surely at the peak of my innocence I had not offended her so horribly.