Secret Flames (Sandor Clegane)

Chapter 13

When Tallulah awoke the next morning after a restless night sleep, the first thing she released was the pain in her right cheekbone from where Sandor had slapped her the night before. Gently touching her cheek with the tips of her fingers, Tallulah flinched from the pain and slowly pulled herself up from the ground. Sandor was already awake and seemed to be watching her every move with cautious suspicion.

"We should get moving" Tallulah grumbled as she grubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"You wanna talk about that first?" Sandor asked sheepishly and pointed at her reddened cheek.

Tallulah still refused to met his eyes and moved to the horse. Usually Sandor would give her a leg up onto the tall ride, but this time she forced herself up alone. Sighing heavily, Sandor followed her onto the horse and then continued their journey to Gulltown. The duo travelled another 50 miles East by the time the sun had passed the half way mark in the sky. Neither had spoken a word to each other though.

When Sandor had woke that morning and saw the red mark on her cheek, a wave of guilt had washed through him like the wine had the night before. Sandor had never intended to hurt her, in his own way he cared more about her than anyone before. He was a loner though, had been his entire life. His father had always favored Gregory, even covering up for him when his brother pushed him into the fire. No one had ever shown him love or kindness, not in the way Tallulah did and what had Sandor done, thrown himself in a pit of self loathing, fueled by wine and anger at the world.

When the sun began to sink into the distant sky, Sandor pulled his horse to a stop and jumped down. As he had done in the past, he held out his hand to help Tallulah down, but she only scoffed at it in disgust and jumped down herself.

"So that's it. You're never to talk to me again. Is that it?" Sandor scorned as he watched Tallulah begin to gather wood for a fire.

"What do you want me to say Clegane? Want me to tell that it's all okay? It'll heal and I forgive you?" she hissed.

"I'm sorry woman, the liquor got the best of me and I lost my temper. Everyone has called me a dog, a Lannister dog, looked at me in disgust and hatred. You, you never did though woman, never feared me or hated me, I wasn't a dog around you".

"Yes you were. The moment we left you became exactly that, it was always there, hidden. You hit me, you have treated me like crap, like a whore since we left, and then... and then you hit me".

"So that's it, you hate me" he sighed heavily and sank down to the ground.

Tallulah watched him as Sandor once again reached for him wine and began to glug down the deep red liquid. As she watched the liquid dribble down his chin, Tallulah felt a mixture of emotions. At first she was completely disgusted by him, but then as she watched him closer, the darkness in his eyes and the desperation in his voice when he had spoke to her. Tallulah didn't hate him, part of her still loved him, but mainly she felt pity and fear as to what would happen next time he lost his temper.

Just as normal Sandor spent the evening drinking himself in to a slumber. When only the distant stars twinkled lightly in the dark sky, the sound of Sandors snoring rang through the camp. Tallulah had not been as lucky in finding sleep though, her mind was alive with questions and worries. She wasn't sure if she could stay with Sandor, they were obviously never going to reach the free cities with the way things were going. No, Tallulah could not stay here with him. Varys had told her to try and find the Northern armies, Catelyn Stark was travelling the country with her son Robb in the war and perhaps she would remember her, allow her a place in their camp.

With the sound of a distant hooting owl, Tallulah knew in that moment what she had to do. All her life she had survived and she wasn't about to give up now. Shuffling through the campsite, Tallulah grab her bag and blade. There was only a little amount of food left so Tallulah decided to leave it for him, it could be the last king thing she could do for him.

With her bag packed and her blade placed securely in her belt, Tallulah gave one last look at Sandor. With a heavy heart and a deep sigh, she quietly tip toed out of the campsite and into the darkness of the night.