You Don't Know Everything

December 13, 2019

I woke up exhausted and wanting to just stay in bed forever. I got up and pulled off my sweatshirt, wincing feeling my cuts that I had forgotten about. I went to the bathroom and took a shower before getting out and putting on my clothes. I grabbed my backpack and found my glasses before meeting Brandon in the lobby.

He smiled at me and then his face fell a little bit.

"What happened to your cheek?" He asked lightly touching my skin. My mind went back to my argument with Josh and I just shrugged.

"I don't know." I said trying to be believable. He seemed to buy it and we walked to school. I left him at the front doors and walked to my locker. I felt a hand on my hip and I turned around to see Josh.

"I hope you got the memo yesterday." He said and I nodded. He pulled my phone out of his pocket and gave it back to me. "Good." He said and walked away.

I sighed to myself. He scares me so much. I just want to get out of this toxic relationship. I grabbed my things before shutting my locker.

My first few classes were uneventful but now it's lunch. I saw josh at my locker and debated walking away. I have to get this over with though. I walked up to him and he still looked mad.

"Hey how was class?" He asked wrapping his arms around my waist.

"It was okay. I actually need to talk to you about something." I said and heard my heartbeat while I shook.

"You can tell me anything." He said and let go of me.

"I want to break up." I said quietly. He grabbed my wrist and dug his fingers into my skin, opening the cuts.

"No. This is all Brandon's fault." He said through clenched teeth. "You can't see him anymore. If I find out that you are, you're both going to regret it." He said angrily and walked away before I could answer.

Luckily he doesn't like hitting me in public, but I know next time we're alone I'm going to get hurt. The rest of school went by quickly and I got nervous seeing Brandon by my locker and just walked up to him.

"I'm gonna go to the cemetery and I really want to be alone, sorry." I said to him and he looked sad.

"Okay, I'll see you tonight." He said and I felt my heart race. He walked out of the school and Josh came up to me while I was grabbing my bag.

"What did I tell you!" He yelled and grabbed my wrist. I don't know how long I can do this.

"I told him to go home. We usually walk together." I said nervously. He calmed down and loosened his grip.

"Okay, good. I'll come by tomorrow." He said before kissing me and walking out of the school.

I walked to the store and bought a bouquet of flowers before going to the cemetery. I finally got to Christopher's grave and put the flowers by his tombstone. I sat down in the snow and just cried.

"I really wish you were here to tell me what to do. I need my big brother right now." I cried. I stayed there for a while just talking to him. I really miss him.

I stayed until it was dark and really didn't want to go home. I didn't want to see Brandon or my dad. I didn't want to get hurt again. I finally decided to leave when my body started to go numb from the cold.

I walked slowly to my apartment building and took a deep breath before walking into the front door.

"Where the hell have you been?" My dad yelled. I wiped my eyes and whimpered.

"I went to see Chris." I said quietly. He got angry hearing me say that and I flinched as he stepped towards me.

"I told you to never say his name around me." He yelled and grabbed the collar of my sweatshirt. I whimpered as he slammed me against the wall. He punched me hard in the cheek where I had a bruise and I yelped. He dropped me. My glasses broke and scratched my cheek making me whimper. He started kicking me in the stomach and chest causing blood to drip out of my mouth.

He seemed to get enough and walked to his room while I coughed up blood. I got up after a while and went to my room. I locked my windows and shut my curtains before grabbing my blade.

I took off my shirt and cut deep in my wrist. I just want everything to stop. I wish I had my family back. I finally cleaned up and put my blade away before putting a sweatshirt on.

I laid down on my bed and tried to sleep. I heard a soft knock on my window and tried to ignore it. I gave up after a minute just wanting Brandon to hold me.

I got up and opened up my curtains and saw Brandon out on the fire escape. I unlocked the window and he opened it before coming through the window.

"How was the cemetery?" He asked and I hugged him tightly. I can't stay away from him. I just started crying and Brandon softly rubbed my back. "It's okay, I'm sorry that this is happening to you." He said quietly.

"I just don't want to do it anymore." I mumbled into his chest. He held me close and tried to comfort me. I pulled away from him and wiped my eyes. "I'm sorry." I said sadly.

"You're fine." He said sweetly. "You know I don't mind." He said and sat on my bed. "Can stay here again? My mom has her boyfriend over." He said in a disgusted voice. I whimpered and nodded

"Of course. But I'm really tired and I'm probably going to sleep soon." I said with a yawn. He mumbled and okay and I laid down. "Goodnight." I mumbled.

"Goodnight" He said sweetly. I tried to sleep but it was so hard to calm my brain. I know that if Josh knew he was here, I'd be a dead man.

I felt an arm wrap around my waist and Brandon's body press softly against my back. I calmed down a little. I don't know what to do. I slowly fell asleep knowing that I was going to regret this.

Day 2!