December of my freshman year was the nearly epitome of heaven on earth. Charlie and I had been dating for around a month and it was going perfectly, I spent almost every weekend either high off my ass at Ivy's or playing video games in Andrew's basement, and I still didn't have the best relationship with my parents but I was definitely bonding with them more than I ever had in the past. Evie and Fletcher were finally officially labeled as dating, and I still don't know what took them so long. My life was going great, Florida was amazing so far.
Saturday's were my favorites. On this particular Saturday, Ivy and I were laying belly side down on her front lawn working on some homework and listening to a peculiar artist I'd never heard of before but pretended to understand the meaning of the lyrics anyway. She paused the music and rolled onto her back. "You ever wonder what happens to us after we die?" I put down my pencil and processed her question. She kept talking as I was thinking about how to go about what she had just asked. "Like, I'm not too big on god or heaven and hell or any other bullshit like that. What happens to us? Realistically, I mean." I sat up and rested my weight onto the bases of my palms. "Maybe it's like an eternal sleep, yknow? Or reincarnation, I used to be really big on that one." She opened her mouth to argue my statement, but swiftly clamped it shut it as she saw Toby pull up into the driveway in his beat up van with a girl I had seen a few times around school in the passenger seat. She was a sophomore, I think. We inaudibly watched Ivy's step brother as he got in a heated argument with his newest toy. She ran out of the van with tears running down her cheeks and fled down their street in her white sandals and skimpy outfit . Toby looked furious as he stomped inside, shouting cuss words shamelessly.
Ivy must have read the concern on my face because she laughed and said, "don't worry about Toby. He's a man-whore, tries to sleep with anything that breathes. He'll get a new girlfriend tomorrow, I'm sure." I shrugged in disapproval and got back to my homework.
Ivy and I went inside about twenty minutes after the sophomore's traumatic meltdown. She swiped two popsicles from the freezer to cool us down from the sweltering winter heat and climbed the stairs leading us to her bedroom. We talked for a few moments, finishing our popsicles and talked about anything of whatever topic we pleased. Ivy licked the wooden stick clean and hopped off her bed and declared she was going to the bathroom.
Just seconds after his step-sister's departure, Toby entered her room with a grim smile. I smiled back, but uncomfortably and quickly before looking back down at my phone to make myself appear as busy. He began to run his fingers through Ivy's many track and equestrian ribbons from over the years. I cleared my throat and spoke up. "Toby I really don't think Ivy would like you in here- do you need something?" He walked towards me and chuckled, leaving me frightened. "You're pretty cute, for a freshman I guess. Phoebe, was it?" he whispered as he grazed the side of my jaw. I blushed, half flattered and half terrified. "It's Fiona, actually." He ignored me and continued to touch me.
"I- I have a boyfriend. And you're a junior!"
"I don't care if you don't."
"Are you crazy? What part of this makes you think I don't care?"
I pushed him off of me and stormed out, slamming the door behind me. I heard Ivy's footsteps following behind me. "Fi! What's wrong, are you leaving?" I grabbed my backpack and slung it over my shoulder with tears streaming down my face. "I just- I really have to go. It's almost dinner time and my mom wants me home. I'll call you later." I flew out the door and got on my bike. I pedaled so quickly I thought my legs would fall off but I didn't care. I needed to go, I needed to see Charlie.
I arrived at Charlie's house ten minutes earlier than I usually would because I moved so quickly. I frantically knocked on the door and attempted to catch my breath. He answered the door a moment later. "Hey Fiona, didn't expect to see you tod- Fi baby what's the matter?" He noticed my tear streaks halfway through his sentence. I hate it when Charlie calls me baby, I find it a little cringe worthy and quite an odd pet name. But on Saturday I let it slide because I know it was out of comfort. I felt safe as my head burrowed deeper into his chest as he gave me a warm and welcoming embrace. We sat down st his kitchen table and he poured me a tall glass of water from a filtered pitcher. "Tell me what happened, whenever you're ready." I swallowed my first sip of water and wiped my cheeks. "I was at Ivy's. It all happened so fast, I didn't mean for it to happen but it did and I didn't want it to it was bad it was so so bad-" he cut me off. "Slow down. Just tell me, you can trust me with anything." I took another sip and closed my eyes. "Toby made a pass at me, he kept forcing himself on me and I told him to stop. I promise I didn't go for him I would never." I opened my eyes to see Charlie in a furious shock.
In fear as to what he might do to my newly decided best friend's brother, I brought my hand to my mouth and chewed on my thumbnail. He calmed down and hugged me. "It's going to be okay. You're safe as long as you're with me. Always." He kissed me and lead me upstairs to his room. Charlie doesn't have the most common home life because his parents both work full time seven days a week and often go on business trips, but we always make the best of it and take advantage of the time he has when he's home alone. Nothing bad or sexual, his parents just don't allow girls upstairs.
After I had calmed down a little bit, he connected his phone to a speaker and began playing the same artist I had heard at Ivy's earlier that afternoon. Apparently I was the only one in the group who had never heard of him. Charlie sat down on his bed and patted the sheets beside him gesturing that he wanted me to sit. I obliged and crossed my right knee over my left. I laid my head on his chest and the both of us quickly drifted into a deep sleep.
It was light outside when I woke up. "Where am I?" I thought to myself. I looked up and my eyes fell upon my sleeping boyfriend looking peaceful and perfect as ever. My head was still cloudy from the previous nights rest and my mouth was cottony and dry. I stared at him for awhile and admired his beauty before I processed what was happening. Shit. Fuck. Oh my god. I shook Charlie awake and began storming around his room, searching for my phone. He rubbed his eyes and stretched. "Hey calm down, what's the matter?" I stopped and began to cry. "I was supposed to be home over twelve hours ago, my parents are going to kill me!" I finally found my phone and unlocked it, revealing a thousand missed calls from my mother and a million text messages.
I dialed my mothers number in distress and wiped away my tears, pretending to be okay. She picked up on the first ring. "Fiona May Connelly. What the hell is wrong with you? Your father and I were worried sick, we thought you were dead! And don't even get me started on what your poor brother was thinking! We almost called the police, and Piper almost came home from school. You have some major explaining to do." I felt my face turn hot and tears began to flow down my face once again. "I- I know. I'm s- I'm sorry mom." I stuttered. "I spent the night at Ivy's, and I fell asleep before I could call. I'm so sorry I really am, it'll never happen again. I'm coming home now." I kissed Charlie goodbye and biked home as quickly as I could.
I threw my front door open and ran inside to face my angry parents sitting at the kitchen table. I was so not ready for whatever punishment they were about to give me. "I'm sorry I just lost track of time and I forgot to call-" my father interrupted before I could finish. "We're not mad. Teenagers mess up sometimes, we just hope you learn from it. You made a mistake, it happens all the time." My mother and I looked back at him in shock. "Marcus... this is not what we discussed! She had us worried sick, she's grounded." My dad held up his hand to signal a stop sign. "Mary, it's done. Just let it go. Fiona, go up to your room." Relieved yet still confused by my fathers sympathy, I brushed it off and headed up to my room.
Charlie: You okay? How long are you grounded for?
Fiona: I'm not. It was the weirdest thing, my dad totally let me off the hook
Charlie: That's great? I think? I wonder if Ivy's smoking him out too lol
Fiona: lmfao, totally wouldn't surprise me. I gotta get my hw done I'll text you later
I clicked off my phone and buried my head into my German textbook. I couldn't help but wonder why my father let me off so easily. Was he okay? I continued to think about that morning's odd events as I completed my homework.
I woke up on Monday morning to Nico, jumping on my bed with his behind in my face. I pushed him off. God I hate this kid, what did I do to get stuck with such a little shit like him? I pulled him out of my room and quickly got ready for the day before heading out to my bus stop, just as I had every other day. My life in Florida was so cliché and normal to the point where I actually enjoyed living my cheesy and young adult sitcom like days.
I sat down in biology like normal just before the bell rang when I got a text from my mother.
Mom: Fi- hope you're having a good day so far and made it to school safely. Just texting to remind you that Piper is coming down from Illinois today, so make sure to clean your room since she hasn't seen the house yet and get home as soon as possible.
Love ya!
Xoxo, Mom
Before I could even think of how to respond, Ms. Bishop snatched my cell phone out of my fingertips and frowned at me. "Very disappointed, Miss Connelly! I'm not used to this type of behavior from you! You can get your phone back at the end of class." My face heated up. "I- I'm sorry- My mom- She- It'll never happen again I promise." God, again with the stutter! What the hell is up with me lately?
As the clock slowly ticked on through out first period, I began to care less and less about my technology or lack there of. Deep down I knew I was probably just paranoid for no reason, it was just the anxiety coming back. Yet I still couldn't help but wonder as to why Piper was coming home. My parents had been acting super weird, and then "coincidentally" invited Piper home for a few days just a week before Christmas break, not to mention Nico had been extra annoying and more absent around the house as of recently. I began to develop explanations for every single possibility as to what may had happened. My minds worrisome theories quickly slipped out of my head as the second bell rang. I took my phone back off of Bishop's desk and skipped in a fake, yet still almost convincing, exuberant trot.
Lunch is the only block I have with the group, so it's nice to be able to catch up with all of them every day just the seven of us. I headed to the cafeteria during lunch to lay my eyes on a heated argument at our table, Evie versus Fletcher. "Oh god," I silently thought to myself. "The end, already? And they were so cute together too!" I neared closer to the scene in attempt to investigate deeper inside.
"No Fletch, you MUST be on crack right now. Childish Gambino is not NEARLY as good as Kevin Abstract."
"Nah, you're tripping. Maybe I'm on crack but YOU are on meth EVELYN"
The table sarcastically gasped as a flush of anger rose upon Evie's glowing skin. "Anthony. Thomas. Fletcher. You are dead to me," Evie reciprocated with Fletcher's use of her full name along with a fake sniffle and pout. So that's what they were fighting about? Does this happen all the time? I couldn't even tell if it was a real fight or not. I sat next to Charlie and he spoke his hellos with his symmetrical smile and the beautiful olive glimmer in his iris. I couldn't help but think how much I love this kid, but it was too soon to tell him; I couldn't, at least not yet. I'm barely fourteen anyways, I hated admitting it, but I knew it wasn't "true love" like in the movies or what my parents have. Was love something you grew into? Or is it exclusive to all ages? I ponder this question nearly every single waking day of my life, but the words will stay trapped beneath me and must never slip out my lips.
I realized I must have been day dreaming of the meaning of everything as well as Charlie for way too long, because before I knew it the bell chimed the end of lunch. I scurried back to algebra and failed to focus on the grids and formulas in front of me. I couldn't stop myself from the potential family related tragedy waiting for me at home and what the definition and rules of love are, or if they even exist.
I stepped off my bus after school and ran as quickly as I could back home. I unlocked my front door with my shiny blue key tied around my neck, Zoey 101 style, and rushed inside just as my mother had informed me to do so. I saw my big sister and little brother sitting at the kitchen counter. I ran to Piper, grinning so wide you could see my gums. I hadn't seen her in ages! I leaned in for a hug but I pulled myself away as I heard Nico sniveling beneath the counter top and noticed Piper's eyes of glass and crimson apple cheeks. "What's the matter? Where's Mom and Dad?" Right on cue, my parents entered the kitchen together hand in hand. It looked like they were on a second honeymoon, what the fuck is going on? My mom cleared her throat. "Fiona, sit down. We all need to talk."
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I already been knew that November > December but still let me know what you think lol sorry
