Best Friend's Boy

ELEVEN

"Do you want to tell people yet, or do you want to wait?" I asked Ash, holding his hand and sitting on my bed.

He sighed and put his head in his hands in frustration. "I just don't want people to know." I smiled and nodded even though inside of me it felt like someone was stabbing me. Ash claimed he was straight except for me, so I got the fact that he wasn't ready. I knew I could wait, I knew he was worth it.

"I just need time to figure everything out." He said,  laying back on the bed. "I wouldn't even know what to come out as, and I want to tell my dad before my friends know."

"It's alright, there's no rush. Take your time, its when you're ready." I laid down next to him and we kissed. We looked up at the white ceiling that was above us and sat there in quiet. But it was a good quiet, a nice comfortable silence.

I felt the front door open from downstairs as it shook the whole house and I heard my mum talking to someone. Maybe it was my dad? Would she even dare to bring him back here again?

"Ash, my father is here again. I think- I think he wants to talk to me." I blurted, just thinking he should know. He turned to me and looked into my eyes.

"Are you going to go through with it? Are you going to meet him?"

"I don't know, he says he's going to be in town for a few more weeks so I still have time to think about it." I was still unsure as I explained. He reached around me and pulled me closer and ran his fingers through my messy hair. I laid my head on his chest and listen to his steady heartbeat, and  I knew then that I was going to be perfectly fine. Because I had Ash.

And that's all I needed.

*  *  *

"Well, you look happy." Dani said, grinning at me as I approached her locker. I fakely smiled as best as I could, feeling a tad bit guilty for being with her ex boyfriend.

"I suppose so." I chuckled. She looked me up and down but before she could say anything Nick skipped up to us.

"What's up, peasant?" He smiled.

"Peasants, actually." Dani corrected him and I almost facepalmed.

"Actually,  a peasant and a king." I corrected her with a smirk and looked down the hallway just as Dylan was approaching. Nick reciprocated my look.

"I'm gonna kill you." Dani mumbled to me.

"Yes, thank God, someone normal!" I pretended to cower behind Dylan to shield myself from Dani and Nick.

"You shouldn't kill Kato, he has a very nice face."

"Oh thanks, I feel so loved. I said sarcastically. If I was horrifically ugly, would none of you love me?

"Nah." Nick said and stuck his tongue out at me.

"I hate you." I grumbled, placed my hands on his shoulders and turned him around, pushing him toward his first period class. He laughed and began to walk away,  only to kindly flip me off as he walked into the algebra 2 classroom.

*  *  *

"Hey Dani?" I asked as she drove me home.

"Yeah?

"Is there anybody that you like?" I wanted to wait to tell her about Ash until she found someone else and of course by the time Ash wanted to tell people she probably would have moved through four other guys.

And I was okay with that. Completely. A hundred ten percent.  Totally confident. Didn't bother me.

Okay, so maybe just a tad.

Dani's face grew red at my question and avoided making eye contact with me. I let out a silent 'phew', the first time being happy how fast she moved on with guys.

"Who?" I pestered.

She changed the subject. "How is wooing ash going?"

God dammit.

"Whatever." I growled, not answering the question she asked me because she wasn't going to answer mine.

"Ah, I love you Katy." She said in a cutesy tone, reaching across to ruffle my hair. I I rolled eyes at her and looked out the window. I tried and failed to keep a straight face that looked pissed.

I couldn't do it for long and smile broke out onto my face. I thanked in my head whatever god was  above for giving me the greatest, most understanding, caring,  best friend.

When I got back home and plugged in my phone since it had died it vibrated with two texts I had missed.

From: Ash
Thursday, 2:57 P.M.
Tomorrow after school I want to hang out.

I smiled, hearing his voice in my head and texted back saying I'd love too.

From: (424) 867-5309
Thursday, 3:01 P.M.
Kato, its your dad, Derek...

Derek? Ha, he already sounds like a douche.

...I would like if you could meet me for dinner tomorrow at 7. I will text you the address. Please just think about it.

My phone vibrated once again and the text was filled with the address. I stared at the words, pondering if I should meet up with him or not.

Of course the first reaction I had was to deny, to push away the man who pushed us away, pushed me away. But he was making an effort,  that's what got through to me. After all these years not giving a crap he actually started making an effort. From the way he kept persisting it was obvious it wasn't half assed, he really wanted to connect with me.

I thought about accepting and made a mental pro and con list in my head, looking for the best outcome. No matter which side seems more reasonable,  one thing kept making me question.

Why now? I hadn't become famous, or won the lottery. I didn't grow into the most charming or beautiful kid. Nothing has changed, just more years have passed. Yes, I was older, but I was the same old brat who sometimes was scared of the dark and had to sleep with a night light. The same kid who still hadn't been taught how to ride a bike and didn't want to go on roller coasters for fear of getting stuck.

I was just the same me but older. I shook my head violently as if that would clear my thoughts. No matter how hard I shook, how hard I thought, the initial question pounded my mind.

Will I go?