The Captain's Journal (Shay Cormac x OC Fanfic)

Captain's Journal Entry 7

Gist and Sera grew on each other very quickly. I was happy for her; like me, she had trouble finding a loyal partner, too. I, on the other hand, have been very unlucky. I had met man after man, and each of them, needless to say, only saw me for my body and nothing else. So, after awhile, I stopped trying. I accepted the fact that I may not be able to find someone.

Sera has had some luck, but no better than mine.

Then, Shay Patrick Cormac came into my life. I never stood a chance. The walls I put up around me never stood a chance. I would trust him with my life and yet, I hesitate to lay with him. He rescued me and nursed me back to health after my ship's mutiny, yet I panic at the chance him, making love to me.

He knows what betrayal feels like. The Assassins betrayed him by messing with a Precursor site and leveling Lisbon, Portugal. He swore to stay his blade from the flesh of the innocent. He's been hurt, even more so than me. He wouldn't do the same to me. Physical intimacy is the last wall I have put up between Shay and I. Once I did lay with him, my life is an open book to him. I commit to him. What's mine is his. He's the most trustworthy person I have met in my life.

Father wanted me to be happy, even after his death. He wanted me to end up like he and Mother: happily married and having a family together.

I have read enough erotic books, been to enough brothels and spoken to my sister, Sera, way too much to not be prepared to lay with a man. But I promised Father I would only lay with a man that I loved and promised myself to. Sadly, he was murdered before he could meet Shay.

What would Father say to him? Probably sit him down, have an ale and do 20 questions. Father said you never really know a man until he's been drinking. The filter is removed. You see the man behind the mask, then you can ask the real questions and find out who you're really dealing with.

Shay and I have talked to one another while drunk, and he seem to like to talk more than I do. But everything was checking out. He told the truth, drunk or sober. All he had said was he had feelings for one of his mentors, Hope Jensen, but nothing was really going on between them. Also mentioned that he had been to a few whorehouses, but that's typical. If a man hasn't gone to a brothel, he's either a eunuch, not ready or likes men and not women. Or they've just been living under a rock like an insect.

He's already seen me naked. Twice. I trust him more than anyone I have ever met. We have been together for several months, why not make the final leap of faith and lay with him? Give him the chance to physically show how much I mean to him....

Well, I'll tell him in a day or two. For now, I need to focus on what to get Shay for Christmas coming up in a week or so. Geoffrey and everyone else is taken care of. My butler loves a good pipe or box of tobacco or cigars. Dorothea likes handmade stuff, I got that taken care. Anton and Gideon loved their booze, so I got them a few special bottles Hunter had found for me at his work. William liked reading, so I bought him a few books and a few nice outfits.

Sera was getting some nice dresses I had found in the market and Hunter was getting a bow and quiver I had made myself, carved with our names on it. But I did not know what I could get Shay. I'll have to take a trip into town and do a little shopping for him.