The Captain's Journal (Shay Cormac x OC Fanfic)

Captain's Journal Entry 8

Captain's Journal Entry

8

We are both exhausted. Shay looks beat, but he is still on alert, for me and for my house. Good guardian and protector, he is.

Am I ready to take that next step? There is no doubt in my mind now. I've made my choice. I'll ask him after we finish warming up by the fireplace.

I have asked those close to me about my feelings for Shay Cormac. Dorothea and Geoffrey have not seen a more trustworthy, more caring and more protective, young man since my Father passed, God rest his soul. They said that I had nothing to worry about. He will be attuned to my needs when it does happen. As far as for me, Dorothea said that I should take it slow and steady and don't do too much if I cant handle it or if I get scared.

Anton and Gideon both said that he has gone out of his way for me so many times that I need not worry about any ulterior motives because he would have done them already. But he hasn't.

William saw the connection Shay and I shared and he told me to cherish him and your time together and to never let him go.

Hell, I even spoke with the Colonel. It was very awkward for me, but I had to ask someone besides my family. The Colonel had summoned me to his home for a "private conversation". I asked him if something was wrong. He said that was not the case. "How are you and Master Cormac getting along?" He asked me. I told him, "I couldn't be happier, except...." I hesitated to come out and tell him. "May I confide in you on a personal matter, Colonel Monro?"

He told me that I could talk to him about anything. And honestly, I really could. Besides Mr. Steele, the Colonel was like a father figure to me. He and Father were very close.

"Colonel, a few days ago, Shay and I went to the hot springs cave. Just the two of us. We...shared an intimate moment, and I panicked."

He asked me how exactly I panicked. I told him that I could tell from his body language he wanted to express his love for me physically, and I shrunk away before it escalated.

"I see now. Did you tell him? Does Master Cormac know that you're....?"

"Yes, I did. Regrettably so." I felt uneasy telling him.

He told me that it was good of me to confess this to him. Honesty and transparency helps the two of us to build trust and brings us closer.

"Shay understood what was ailing me. He told me that he's willing to wait for my decision, Colonel."

Rarely did I ever see George Monro smile. Usually, I saw him with a concerned and often distressed look from all the burden he had. But this time, he did smile at me.

He was glad that Shay took that approach with me and that he didn't expect anything less from him. He commented that he has never seen Shay more content than how he was with me. I helped ground him and work through his issues the way he and Christopher Gist did.

I told him this: "I have thought about this alot, Colonel. I talked it over with my guardians and...I believe I'm ready to take this leap of faith. Do you have any...advice for me?"

Colonel Monro was taken aback. He had not thought I would discuss intimate matters with him. What he told me was that I should take things slow, one endeavor at a time, build up my confidence and don't do anything that I feel uncomfortable doing with or to Shay.

I also told him not to say a word to Shay. I wanted to surprise him.

"Your secret's safe with me, Ellie."

I smiled and blushed deep red when he said this. He almost never called me by my nickname unless it was in jest or when we were just talking casually over a few pints of ale.

Sera had told me that she was waiting until Christmas Eve as a surprise for Gist. He had told her that he was not trying to pressure her and that he would not lay with her unless she was ready for him. Great minds think alike.

Well, it's time for me to call it a night. It's a few minutes until midnight. Then it will be Christmas Eve. Perfect timing for me....