Mending Ryan Falls ✓

23 | in which he feigns perfection

When I left, I promised myself,
I'll never be that me again.

.\.|./.

Ryan Falls

"He left three months ago and hasn't come back since."

I put the coffee mug down on the table in front of her, watching her wring her hands together. She's nervous, I can tell, but I don't know what's bothering her more, the fact that we just made out like hungry animals or the fact that now she feels obliged to tell me about her complicated relationship.

I think it has something to do with both.

"It's okay, Crystal," I say, trying to remain neutral.

I have a lot of things to say about her abusive boyfriend, but she needs to see them on her own, not with me beating them down her throat.

"He's gone now," I say. "He's not coming back."

"But what if he does?" she asks, a hint of fear in her voice. "What if he comes back and finds out about ..."

"Us?" I finish.

Crystal seems unsure. "You and me," she mumbles.

"That does make us, you know," I add with a smile, reaching out to touch her cheek.

Crystal hesitates, her shoulders stiffening.

"What if he comes back?" she says, unnoticeably trying to move out of my reach.

I still notice.

"Don't worry," I reassure her. "I won't let him hurt you. I promise."

Crystal finally looks at me, her green-blue eyes uncertain. She's doubtful of me, and I don't blame her. As much as I would like her to trust me, I know it's not easy for her to open up.

One, I'm pretty creepy around her. It's only because I like annoying her, but she doesn't know that.

Two, she knows I have secrets. It's not that I don't want her to know, but how do I tell her?

And three, she's been in an abusive relationship for God-knows-how-long and it makes sense for her to be so scared.

Abuse does that to you.

I know, because it paralyzed me with fear.

Every time the man looked at me.

Every time he smiled.

Every time I got his text on my phone, ordering me to his house.

I would have picked death over him any day. But life has a way of staying, and I was a coward too afraid to run. Finally plucking up the courage to leave was the best decision I ever made.

"He can't hurt you," I say to Crystal, but also to myself. "Never again."

She relaxes a fraction, lowering her gaze to her lap. She stares unseeingly at her hands, and I tuck her hair back towards her loose braid, watching them swing back onto her face.

I can't help but smile, something about this girl just pulling at my heartstrings. I don't know what it is about her, but maybe her selflessness won me over. She had no money, I could tell, but she never forgot to bring me a meal. She was scared of Olivia and Jeremy, and yet she never let that stop her from helping me. She was unsure of everything, even herself, and still found it in her to come ask me if I needed something.

Like I said, kindness is the most beautiful thing on a human being.

"Why do you like me, Ryan?" she asks all of a sudden.