Woman to Women by Josette Sona

WHY

And why is society like this? It can be traced back to the origins of the human race. As humans evolved, women weren't always able to hunt for food, protect others against attack, etc., especially while they were in their last trimester of pregnancy, while they were recovering from childbirth, etc., so men would often hunt and fight. This helped to make males physically stronger - strength he could use in a positive way (protecting his family, providing food, etc.) but it could also be used in a negative way (controlling others, stealing, bullying, raping, etc.) Because men had to endure the sometimes brutality of wars, fighting off attacks from other tribes, killing others, etc., they often suppressed their emotions in order to survive emotionally. No one who endures the horrors of war is unaffected but because men weren't strong enough, emotionally, to handle the pain and the psychological damage caused from witnessing and sometimes participating in man's inhumanity towards man, it often made men emotionally hard, unfeeling uncaring, etc. - detached from his humanity. This played a part in men's behavior as societies formed; they held onto the power they acquired (which enabled them to make laws/rules) but they often weren't strong enough to use that power without abusing it. They took what they wanted regardless of whom they hurt, they didn't allow themselves to feel compassion, empathy, guilt, etc. They were afraid. Afraid others would hurt them so they often "attacked" first, hurt first to push away/avoid any association that could lead to their being vulnerable, emotionally exposed, etc. - because they weren't strong enough to endure pain and sadness. This, of course, often led to wars where other men (especially young men and even boys) were psychologically damaged from experiencing the brutality of war. And this vicious cycle continued with each generation, affecting the way men related to their children and women. Women weren't given the opportunity to gain and keep power in society/in the home and were ultimately thought of as;property (to be bought, sold, bartered with), a possession (first owned by her father/legal male guardian or nearest male relative, then her husband), a convenient "object" for men to use and abuse, etc. This caused men to feel subconsciously guilty and to have a lack of respect for themselves. (This compounded the possibly already low self-esteem a man had, traced back to his childhood.) When people don't respect themselves, they often don't respect others. A lot of men noticed that women (generally speaking) were more evolved/stronger intellectually, mentally, etc., so men felt threatened, jealous/envious, and even felt a hatred for women - feelings a lot of men still have towards women today. There are many parts of the world, even in the present, where women don't have the same rights/freedoms that men have. Women, observing and experiencing first-hand the damage done to men, often couldn't relate on an emotional level to men. This caused a rift between the genders but men still needed women for sex - one of the few pleasures men had besides power. {A characteristic of a lot of (if not most) women is to associate sex with love and affection. If a woman doesn't love someone, romantically speaking, she usually won't want to engage in any sexual activity with that person. It's a common misconception a lot of men have that women use sex as a tool for manipulation. That may be the case for some women but usually if a woman is hurt/disappointed by a man, she won't feel like making love to him. Guys, on the other hand, often use the appearance of love/affection as a tool to manipulate a woman so he can have sex with her.}Girls, as well as boys, are often abused which leads to low self-esteem/low self-worth but because women are more evolved/stronger, girls often grow up and not "take it out" on others. Their low self-esteem often results in them accepting the abuse of others. This is one of the reasons women stay in abusive relationships, allow guys to disrespect and use them, etc. Because girls often don't get a lot of love/affection from their fathers, they may be starved for any kindness, attention, etc. from the opposite gender as they grow older. Guys, realizing this, often use a woman's vulnerability to;manipulate/seduce/deceive her into believing he likes or loves her; he may pretend to be attracted to her/love her so she'll fall in love with him and be more easily controlled, more "biddable", etc., he may kiss her (giving the appearance he's attracted to her) so he can distract her while; removing her clothing, engaging in sexual activity with her, etc. Even though a lot of women know this, they are strong enough not to judge all men the same. So, when a new man enters her life, a woman often takes him at face value rather than thinks: "All men are the same. He'll just use you for what he can get out of you, then leave you when someone 'better' comes along" - even though that often is what happens due to the fact that a lot of men aren't strong enough to resist temptation, stay in a relationship and work at improving it, etc. When boys are abused, they often grow up to be abusers themselves. The pain and sadness they feel turn to bitterness, hardness of heart, etc. This is not an excuse for their negative behavior when they grow up but, rather, an explanation. They may not have the strength to learn from their experiences and not repeat them. For example; when a boy is sexually abused, he often grows up to become a pedophile, when a boy is physically abused, he often grows up to physically abuse the women and children in his personal life, when a boy is verbally abused (for example, when he's told not to cry/show emotion), he often "shoves down" his emotions - detaching himself from his feelings. Then when he grows up and is in a relationship, he often doesn't know how to act because he's been so emotionally disconnected for so long. He often learns how to be very good at pretending to care for/love a woman, which can lead to her falling in love with him and giving him everything - including free sex. (Boys often have to pretend they're not hurt when they're verbally/emotionally abused.)