Core beliefs *Thor x Loki*

Redemption

Note: This chapter is like an introduction where you find out what happened after Thanos died. It might look like the story is a little bit slow but things will eventually happen, I promise. Anyway, hope you enjoy this. 😄

The moment Thanos died I was set free, released from the prison made of anger and pain. The mental fog cleared out and I felt as if I'm seeing the world around me for the first time. Suddenly I felt weak and fell down to my knees. Everything came back to me. Everything I did under his control, every evil thought, every creature that died because I couldn't resist his power, it all came back to me and hit me like a strong punch into the stomach. I felt sick. Disgusted by my actions.

-Brother!- I heard someone screaming. –Loki! Where are you? Loki!!-

I couldn't answer. Guilt and tears were suffocating me. He found me anyway.

–What have I done?- I raised my head and looked up to see Thor. His skin was covered in dirt, sweat, and dried blood.

-It's okay. Everything is okay now. Thanos is dead and everyone is back. You've done nothing...- Thor rushed to help me.

-New York... Family...- I wanted to remind him of all people that died because of me. But before I could explain anything I started throwing up.

-Oh, no... That's not your fault brother. Thanos did that! He was controlling you. - I heard his sad voice. He wanted to get closer to me but I raised my hand, stopping him.

-I am God of mischief. I had to be stronger. There is no excuse for what I have done.- I said as I was standing up.

***

If someone told him a couple years ago that he'll be living with Avengers, Loki would probably just kill them. When Tony Stark said that Loki should go home with Avengers it seemed surreal to him. His first thought was ''He wants to put me in a prison''. But Tony made sure that everyone gets the best medical help. Tony sent Loki to Wakanda because their technology was the closest to Asgardian. He spent two months there, recovering. They wanted to make sure that he was completely healthy (both mentally and physically) and that Thanos and his power completely disappeared from his body. After Loki regained his power, he went back to the Avengers compound. He wasn't sure what he was doing there. He had no friends or family left. And Thor was there. He didn't want to see him. One thing that doctors and psychologists in Wakanda couldn't heal was a pain. They helped Loki cope with guilt and feeling of responsibility for his actions and deaths he caused because of Thanos. But there was a pain that God of mischief carried with him since he was merely a teenager. Pain that only comes with loving someone more than you love yourself. When that love is wrong, it hurts and bruises your heart in an unbearable way.

But Loki was handling it with a big, bright smile on his face. Every day he felt grateful that he's alive and himself again. He learned how to handle painful memories. Every time his past bothered him, he would let himself feel the pain, and the next day he would move on as if nothing happened. 

Thor left the compound. New Asgard needed him. Loki saw it as a mitigating circumstance.

God of mischief spent most of his days in his room reading or on his balcony drinking tea and enjoying the weather. Today, Natasha joined him.

-Hey, I was wondering if I could do your hair today? You know, we have family dinner tonight.- she asked, smiling.

Natasha and Loki became close friends after Loki moved in with the Avengers. Her hair was short and she had to keep it like that because it was distracting to have long hair during missions. But Loki didn't cut his hair in a year and it was reaching his lower back now so Natasha liked to make different things with it. Loki remembered when she told him: ''I know how it feels when people look at you like you're a monster. What they don't understand is that sometimes, we're not really monsters. Something, someone, made us look like one.'' That sentence started one of many long conversations they had this past year. For the first time, Loki had a friend that understood his past and accepted it. He had someone to simply spend time with, have a cup of tea (or beer) and laugh with.

-Of course.- he said and put down his cup on the table. -What do you have in mind?-

-Ponytail and some braids. Your hair is really long now and I think it would look beautiful.- she said.

Loki nodded and turned his chair around so Natasha could freely access his hair. First, she brushed his dark, silky hair. Then she made some braids. Loki was enjoying it. Then she lifted it up to make a ponytail.

-Well now, you're prettier than I am. I'm kinda jealous. -

They both laughed.

-I might be prettier, but you're the hot one.- he winked.

-Of course, I am. You can never beat me at that.-

They laughed again. Natasha fixed braids a little bit.

-You're all set, buddy.-

-Thank you, Nat. Oh my, I look marvelous.-

She giggled. Natasha liked when Loki was speaking Earth English, how she called it. Probably because Loki called her Nat, instead of agent Romanoff, which made her feel like their friendship was stronger.

-Now I have to make myself look pretty.- she said and waved goodbye.

Loki turned around to get his book and continue reading, with a smile. Then he remembered. Thor is going to be here tonight.

-Just keep reading.- he whispered, hoping that his anxiety will go away. 

Autor: This song just screams Loki. I mean Loki from this story. I can't even believe. 

...I never meant to start a fire
I never meant to make you bleed
I'll be a better man todayI'll be good, I'll be good
And I'll love the world, like I should
Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good
For all of the time
That I never could...