To Be Flying Again (completed)

CHAPTER FOUR: LOST

Beep Beep Beep Beep

All I could hear was beeping. And when I finally pried my eyes open all I could see was white. White walls, white curtain, white bedding.

I felt so disoriented, I don't really know where I am or why I was here.

But as I lied on the bed it slowly came back. Blaze, the accident and me blacking out.

The machines beside me started to beep violently, probably because of my heart starting to hammer in my chest at the memory. Soon after a nurse came rushing in, my family right behind her.

The nurse smiled at me, "Good to see you awake." I just looked at her, still a little disoriented

"You have been out for about three days, but that is normal for the level of injury you got from the fall." The nurse smiled warmly at me while checking my vitals.

I looked over at my mom, "Is Blaze okay?" worry clear in my voice.

When my mom didn't answer straight away telling me she was fine I looked over at my dad, "is she alright?" I was already sounding distressed.

"No honey" My dad gave me a slight shake of his head.

"WHAT, she has to be alright. And if she isn't the vet will take care of her, right?" I kept looking from my mom, then to my dad, but neither of them said anything.

Finally, Xavier walked up to me and took my hand giving me the worst news I have ever heard in my life. "She didn't make it, sis, I am sorry" I stared at him for a few seconds, not really registering what he said. And when it did I just screamed. It literally felt like somebody was ripping my heart out of my chest. I only stopped screaming, because my lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen. And even then I didn't give my body time to get more oxygen. I was rocking back and forth in the beds mumbling "it can't be true, it can't be true, it can't be true." My hands on my head gripping my hair in a death grip. Pain flaring from the scalp to my nerves. But I didn't care. Blaze was gone, and that pain was far greater. I was so far gone in my new found grief and misery. I didn't even register that the nurse had come running into the room at the sound of my agonizing scream. She came running asking my parent something, but I couldn't hear anything of what was being said. The only sound that registered was the sound of my beating heart, that felt like it was bleeding.

I lookedto my right when I suddenly started to feel dizzy and saw that the nurse was holding the tube that went to my arm. Thedizziness disappeared leaving only my tired body. I didn't try to fight it whenthe drug willed my body to sleep. I got a short glance at my families worried facesbefore drifting off to oblivion.

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I woke up groggy, but thankful aware about where I was.

"Hey sis, good to see you up." I looked over at were my brother Jake was getting up from the chair. To put it nicely; he was looking very tired.

"Hey" My voice raspy, from sleeping for so long. "How long was I out?"

Jake gave me a little smile. "Only a couple of hours." He took the chair and sat beside me. "How are you"

"How do you think I am?" I looked at him angrily. "My entire body hurts, but what hurts the most is that Blaze isn't waiting for me back at the barn. It hurts so bad that it doesn't even feel real." I had slowly started to hyperventilate from the hurt filling my chest once again. "But the fact that I am lying in this bed, in the hospital, is proof she is gone." I had started crying again. My body trying to find some kind of release from the pain continues to fill up my body at my every waking moment." I was really having trouble breathing by now and my head was beginning to hurt more from the lack of proper oxygen.

"I am sorry, sis, that was really insensitive of me" Jake looked away from me. "Shit, Calla, breath, okay breath slowly" I tried to do what Jake told me, but I was hard. I almost had to force my body to wait to take a breath. "That's it, sis, keep breathing slowly"

Jake kept telling me to take slow breaths until my parents and Xavier came back in. My breath wasn't entirely normal, but I was still better. And hopefully, I could hold it together while my parents were in the room.

"Good to see you up, honey" my father slowly came over to my bed and gave me a tight and short hug. "Hey dad" I gave him a small smile. Xavier winked at me "Good to see you up, sis" and followed up with a goofy smile. I only nodded at him, not really feeling like talking anymore. My mother the ever good one at picking up signals directed the rest of my family out the door. "Now that you know, that she is wake, let her rest a little, she has had a few hard days."

"But Shila baby, I haven't talked to her" My dad pouted at mom. "Not now, you can talk to her later, Derreck. Take the boys out for dinner and come back afterward." Mom looked at dad with a stern face. And when my mom gave you that face, you knew that there was no changing her mind. "Okay baby." My dad gave in and left with my brothers.

After they left my mother came over and sat in the chair, that was still standing by my bedside.

"How are you holding up sweetheart?" My mother put her hand over mine and gave it a little squeeze.

"Mom I am so lost without her." Tears started to swell in my eyes, even when I thought that I couldn't cry anymore.

"I know honey, I know," she said pulling me into a tight hug.

"No, you don't. She was everything to me. Everything." My voice broke at the last word. I finally started to break down like I felt like I was about to ever since I woke up. Tears streaming down my cheeks silently, while I sobbed into my mother's shoulders, grieving for everything I have lost

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Hope all of you enjoyed this chapter :)

I am trying to update more often because I have a friend @-Callidope, that I know personally, that keeps telling me how excited she is for my new chapters.

You can expect the next chapter on Wednesday