A Slytherin with crushed dreams who longs to be loved and a Gryffindor with a broken heart attempt to find solace in each other, shielding themselves from the damage the war left.
[post-deathly hallows]
[pansmione]
began: march 10, 2018 [ao3.org]
en...
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The war didn't end silently. On the contrary, it ended with articles and reports and interviews about the boy who saved the Wizarding World. Harry James Potter became the subject of every magical news outlet in the United Kingdom. Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley, The-Boy-Who-Lived's best friends began dating right after Voldemort had been defeated. Their relationship was a compilation of awkward hugs, cheek kisses, and shaking off the other's hand. Their first kiss had been passionate and in the heat of the moment, but now it was artless and childish.
He very truly wanted to salvage whatever was left of the ruin they called "love". Ron Weasley was taught to never give up in the face of destruction, which is what got him through the war. Living by that got him through much more, but it just didn't seem work with her. Whenever he hugged her, it caught her off guard and she seemed frozen, keeping her arms by her side and eyes wide open. On the often occasions when he tried kissing her lips, trying to reenact their first action of love and recreate the sparks, she turned her head and he kissed her cheek instead. Trying to hold her hand became pointless, as she always shook his off and caused an awkward chuckle from everyone in the room.
If Hermione Granger could ever be honest with herself it was about her loveless affair with Ron. She felt it was pointless in trying and was trying to come up with ways to break it off. Knowing the reason for his attempted redemption of their relationship made her feel worse: Ron Weasley didn't want to be seen as a failure. Hermione knew much of that, she always had a fear of failing, it had become her boggart over time. She knew as well as anyone what it was like, but she could not continue like this, for his satisfaction. Ron and Hermione, no matter much Harry credited them as helping him in the defeat of the Dark Lord, were seen as the Boy-Who-Lived's good friends. He felt the need to prove himself to everyone after that headline appeared.
On the night of August 28th, 2000, Hermione made two announcements. The first took place at dinner at the Burrow surrounded by all of the remaining Weasley children and their wives and children (and Ginny and Harry with Teddy).
"Mom! I'm sure Bill is a great father!" Was the first thing the young witch heard as she entered the kitchen.
"Charlie, look at the way he's holding that baby! What if someone held one of your dragons like that?" Molly Weasley was constantly watching how her kids treated theirs and with this many in the house, she was sure to be more watchful than ever.
"Impossible! No one will ever touch my dragons!" Everyone stifled a laugh as they sat at the very large table. Dinner was eaten with tales from Ginny about how her quidditch training was going while Harry talked about his latest catch as an auror, Charlie talked about dragons that were being brought in from Scandinavia and how their tails were laced with various horns and spikes along with how no Dragonologist had been able to tame them, Bill and Fleur went on about the cute things that Victoire did and dropped small hints about trying for a second baby, and concluded with George talking about the newest things that Weasley's Wizards Wheezes was going to produce but everyone noticed the hollowness in his eyes and his drooping smile.
When dessert was over, everyone stood up, ready to go up to bed. Hermione, however, called attention to herself as she readied to make her announcement. Everyone quieted as the curly-haired girl cleared her throat,
"As I'm sure most of you know, for the past two years, the Ministry has been funding the rebuilding of Hogwarts. Because I turned down the job in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures on account of my lack of education, I have received an invitation to finish my seventh year...and I've decided to do it!" Everyone cheered for Hermione as she smiled and accepted the hugs from the family she had always loved.
--
Later that night, as she walked up to Ginny's room, exhausted from the day and ready to sleep, angry footsteps approached and a strong arm turned her completely around and a mop of ginger hair appeared in front of her.
"So you just decided to go back to school and not tell me?" Ron asked fiercely.
Hermione's eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched as she spat, "I didn't realize I needed your permission." As she turned back around, Ron's hand grabbed hers and once again turned her around.
"That's not at all what I said, don't twist my words!" He began to raise his voice, "Despite what you tell yourself, I'm still your boyfriend and I do have a right to know when a decision like this is being made!"
"I just made it today you absolute idiot! And no, you don't need to know every aspect of my life Ron Weasley!" She yelled, catching the attention of most of the Weasley children. "I'm a grown woman and I don't need you to dictate my every decision!"
With a face as red as his hair Ron also yelled, "I don't get why we even try, it's not like you even care about me!"
Her face softened as she took his hand and announced softly, "I do care, I really do." His hand gently took hers and led it to his chest.
"My heart beats for you, and only you, but can you say the same thing?" Tears welled in his eyes as she took hesitation in answering. "I see," his hand dropped hers as he began to walk away.
"Ron wait," he turned around slowly at her soft voice, "I care, I really do, I care so much. But I'd be lying if I said that my heart beats for you."
For the second time that Hermione Granger made an announcement, "I love you, but I'm just not in love with you, and I just can't keep pretending that I can for your sake. You don't want to be seen as a failure and I get that, but upholding this-this image is impossible and I can't take it anymore. I want so badly to be in love with you but I'm not and pretending that I am is hurting you and that's the last thing I want. I've decided to stop hurting you and let you finally be happy."
