A little place for love

Chapter 14

Rye's POV

I stepped out of the studio not even noticing I had walked all the way through the doors until I felt the rain hit me. I just couldn't help but think about Andy all the time. Everything felt so natural with him and it actually scared me all little. Or a lot. I didn't know anymore. In fact I never knew, I never knew anything with Andy. The only thing I was certain of was the presence of that little sparkle in his eyes. That small shiny thing that seemed to inevitably entice me to him like a magnet.
I felt so hot with him, like my all body set himself on fire. But the burn felt so good and I just wished it never stopped.

As soon as I passed the doors the cold fresh rain pouring on my face brought me back to reality. I always liked the rain. Sometimes I would just sit in front of the biggest window of my apartment and look at the water falling from the sky. I preferred it at night especially in the summer so I would see the thunder abruptly cut the sky and then disappear as fast as it came, leaving the sky intact like it never happened. But my favorite thing above all was to just sit there and close my eyes. And I would listen to the rain for hours. Sometimes Mikey met me there. He knew that in these moments he wasn't supposed to say anything. I knew he was here just by earring the click on the door, the sound of the footsteps getting louder as he stepped closer and finally the parquet sagging next to me. And he knew how much those moments meant to me. He knew it was the only time when I completely let myself go and just forgot about everything.

And somehow the burning fire that Andy set in me didn't die in the cold fresh rain. The combination of the two made me feel like I was the only man in this world. I just stood there smiling in the rain. I probably looked like a fool but I couldn't care less. The whole world could juge me I wouldn't give a fuck for once. And it felt good not to give a fuck. So good.

But that sweet moment of liberty abruptly ended when a black SUV stopped in front and me and my driver stepped out of the car to open the door for me. It was time to go to the interview.

"Good afternoon Richard ! How are you doing?" I asked my driver of five years now once I got in the car and he started to drive away.
"They are great thank you Ryan. And Liz told me to say hello." He said talking about his wife. Richard always refused to call me Rye and insisted on calling me by my full name. At first it bothered me and now I quite like it. It's like our little thing. I really liked Richard. I lived so many things with him. So many good but also bad moments. He was there to pick me up when I first got drunk, he also came after my first break up, he drove me to my first concert, and took me to so many events. He was like a second dad to me. And that meant a lot coming from me. I didn't see my parents a lot, even rarely, when I got famous I promised them I would come and visit every two weeks at least. But I guess promises weren't my thing. After two years my visits became more and more rare, to the point where I realized one day that I hadn't seen them in six months.
But the worst thing is that I still didn't went to see them. I just didn't felt welcome anymore and as I wasn't proud of the person I became I didn't want them to see me like this.
The last thing I wanted was to see by the look in their eyes that I had disappointed them.

I arrived at the interview felling a little bit down due to my thoughts in the car. But I had to forget about that rapidly because I couldn't let the cameras catch me looking unhappy. Blair said a depressed artist doesn't make as much money as one who brings joy and happiness. And as everything was about money for him I had to smile all the time.
I was now a professional fake smiler. I swear to god no one could beat me at this. I was a world champion in that category.

The interview was just like any other. The journalists asked me more questions about my romantic life than about my album. I, of course, had to say that I was crazy in love with Kaylee my girlfriend and how great she was. I talked about how much I loved my job, how wonderful my life was and a bunch of other pathetic lies that came out of my mouth to satisfy the fans. Truly mediocre. But this was my life now.

As soon as I stepped out of the place were my interview was recorded I texted Andy to know if we could see each other tonight. I needed him to get me out of that downward spiral of thinking. He told me that he was going to hang out with his best friend at the nightclub but that he could meet me at my place later if I wanted. I texted him my address and then called Mikey to ask him to go bowling with me. I desperately needed to have fun.
My life was just a mess, a construction with no foundations one the edge of falling over. And I was that spectator helplessly watching it fall knowing that even if I wanted to stop it from collapsing, I couldn't.

Bowling was my favorite thing to do to kill time back in the days when Brook was still around. He and I were the "strike team" no one and when I say that I mean it, no one could beat us. We were invincible together. So when Brook left with Jack I couldn't enter a bowling alley without crying. I know it can sound stupid but it was part of the little things that make a relationship special. Bowling was Brook's and I thing. It took me three years to be able to pick up the heavy ball without felling one in my throat. Sometimes it just felt good to practice that activity and remember him. Because I missed him. I wasn't in love anymore, I just missed him for the person he was. He was a ball of energy always running around screaming nonsense. We were an impossible duo together so our teachers did their best to split us up in most classes. Anywhere we went we broke something and got kicked out. I missed the freedom we had together. That freedom that was taken away from me when I choose this life.

So....I'm very sorry for being away but lots of things happened, first of all school, then I started to question myself about my writing abilities, I thought the quality of my writing could be better so I tried to improve it and then Mikey left. I'll be honest with you, I loved Mikey but I thought I wouldn't be very affected by him leaving the band. Well, I was wrong. I am scared of what the band will become without him, he was always a part of RoadTrip and the band grew up with him. I trust the boys considering the direction they will take the band towards but I can't help but being scared. I saw that the new trialist is Ryan from Andy's old band Overload. I don't know if that's such a good idea but I am willing to give him a chance.
Anyway hope you enjoyed the chapter and see you soon. 🐙