Putting holes in happiness

Jerry springer

The next morning, I flipped on the TV, expecting to see more news about the water shortage in Los Angeles and maybe even some more blah-blah about Lindsey Lohan and where she's checking into next, be it Rehab, the psychward, prison, etc. Well, I was shocked to see that 'Good Morning, L.A.' they were talking about 'Heart-shaped Glasses' and showing clips of the video. I was so angry! I had to tell Manson right away, even if it was only 8:30 in the morning and he had probably just went to bed. This was important, damn it! (As I may have mentioned before, he usually is up all night working on music, painting, writing, reading, or drinking, and then he sleeps all day and wakes up at dusk.) Well, except for yesterday, but he couldn't sleep until things were settled between us. Then, he went back to bed at 1.

So I dropped my spoon in my cereal bowl, milk and lucky charms splashing all over the kitchen table, and rushed up to his room, forgetting the dilemma I would have later getting back down the stairs. Well, his door was locked, probably because Twiggy had taken up residence in Pogo's old room since Pogo filed the lawsuit against Manson and they had also began recording a new album. (And that was sensible,for the combined mischeviousness of Twiggy and Manson's newest band member, Fred, was equivelant to that of 10 Pogos.) No, I don't know what Twiggy's going to do while Fred plays bass. He says whenever I ask, that he will probably masturbate. But, that also meant that I would have to bang on the door and scream, and Manson never liked such an awakening.

"Well, here goes," I muttered, taking a breath in preparation of the screaming I would have to do, "Manson! Manson! MANSON!" I paused and listened. . .nothing. I sighed, "MAN-SON!"

Then, came footsteps and the clinking of the lock as it was turned, "WHA-UT!?" Manson screamed, as the door flung open, and I had to jump out of the way so that I wouldn't be hit with it.

"Why does 'Good Morning, L.A.' have footage of 'Heart-shaped Glasses'?"

"What," he exclaimed, "you must be dreaming."

"I'm not," I replied, "I don't usually watch 'Good Morning, L.A.' in my dreams."

"I seriously just fell asleep not even 10 minutes ago! You are not above getting your ass kicked if this is a false alarm or you're helping Twiggy and Fred one-up for last night's business."

"Uh. . .what happened last night?"

"Doesn't matter," he replied.

"Okay. Look, I tivoed what I could of it, just go down and hit replay." And he took off down the stairs to the kitchen in nothing but black boxer shorts and matching socks, leaving me stranded, standing in his doorway.

"Wait! Wait! I need help down the stairs!" But, he didn't seem to hear me.

A few moments later, I heard him shriek, "what the fuck!" Then, he ran back upstairs into his room, where he threw on a pair of black leather pants that were lying on the floor. Then, he ran past me to his office. I followed him in.

"How did they get it?"

"Who the fuck knows!" The rest of the morning, he was up in his office calling everyone he could think of, even Trent Reznor. In fact, that was the first person he called. I stayed for that phonecall.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, breaking into my house and stealing my property?" Manson yelled, and then put the call on speakerphone, an evil grin as he winked at me.

"'Scuse me?"

"You heard me. Why did you do it anyway!?"

"Manson, I just got back from fucking Tokyo, asshole," Trent replied angrily, "I don't know what the Hell you are talking about."