Putting holes in happiness

Mace

Absinthe sounds good now...too bad I don't have 60€ to throw down on a bottle.

Rudy's show was great as always. It was at The Magic Castle, which Manson was an associate member of. (The Magic Castle is an organization for magicians and magical enthusiasts and also a performance pavilian for those sorts of shows.) He did his signature "Four-Legs" illusion, just as I had requested. And Manson made an appearance in the show as the Evil Magician. (I think he looks so silly with a goatee and mustache!)Tim and Eric were in the audience that night, and I guess the performance inspired a skit for their "awesome" show. They approached us (Twiggy, Manson, Rudy, and I) where we were talking after the show.

"So I'm Tim and this is Eric," Tim introduced them just like he did on the show.

"Manson," Manson quickly introduced himself.

"Twiggy,"

"Rudy," Rudy laughed, "in case you didn't pay attention to the show or don't recognize me."

"I'm Leonore," I said, shaking both their hands, "your show is hilarious!"

"Nah," Tim and Eric replied, "it's completely stupid."

"Not funny at all," Eric added.

"I'm not really familiar with it," Manson remarked.

"That's good! Because we were going to ask you if you would play a part in a sketch for our next season," Tim explained, "and I don't think you would agree to do it if you knew our show."

Manson turned to me, "Leonore, should I do it?"

I laughed, "of course! It's not called "Tim and Eric: Awesome Show GREAT JOB" for nothing!"

"Well then, sure," Manson laughed, "what a name."

And the rest was history.

The next day, a combination of Stu growling at Charlie the cat for stepping on him (where she was sleeping under my covers) and Lilly White hack a furball on my bed awoke me. I looked at the furball and then I looked at Lilly, who was cleaning herself and getting ready to settle down in bed with Bonni, Charlie, and me.

"Fucking gross, Lilly," I sighed.

"Meooow," Lilly replied. I got out of bed, grabbing a tissue, and quickly cleaned up the mess. I guess Manson heard me walking around. He peaked in on his way to bed.

"What are you doing up so early?"

"Cleaning up your cat's furball," I explained, showing him the tissue I was about to throw away.

"Ew, Lilly," he said, picking her up. She yowled in protest, having just made herself comfortable, "yeah yeah. I know! But, you're bugging Leonore."

"I'm going back to bed then," I said, moving stu, because he had stretched herself out into the middle of the bed and stole my pillow.

"Well, I'm going to bed," Manson replied, carrying Lilly away with him, "g'night."

"Night," and with that I fell back asleep.

The rest of the day was rather uneventful. Stu's toe nails were due to be clipped so I enlisted Fred and Twiggy to help me with that. Fred held him in place while Twiggy fed him treats and I clipped his toe nails. The whole process took a half-hour. He's really annoying when it comes to getting his nails clipped, and I don't know why! Manson awoke early, so we all had a late lunch together.

At 5, there was a knock at the door. I looked out and saw that it was Evan. Manson was in the livingroom watching "Family Guy" reruns, so I meandered back to the couch, dragging my feet.

"Aren't you going to answer the door?"

"I would rather not," I replied.

"Why is that?"

"It's Evan."

"Aw, Christ," he groaned.

She pounded on the door again, "I'm not answering it," I yelled, "and that is that."

"That's a good idea," Manson agreed.

"Who's at the door," Twiggy walked in, shirtless and his hair wet.

"Evan," I informed him.

"Are you bathing in my tub again," Manson asked, annoyed.

"Stay on topic," I scolded him. At that, he shushed me.

"Yeah, and I took a piss in your tub as well," he replied, ignoring me, "to get you back for hacking a fat luigi in my kitchen sink."

"Ew," I whined, "other people have to use that tub you know!"

There was another pound at the door.

"Why won't she go away," Manson sighed, exasporated, "take a fucking hint!!!" He shook his fist in the direction of the door.

"Twiggy, will you please go tell her to be on her way," I asked sweetly, "I've grown violent since meeting her and I already have enough community service hours which I haven't served yet because of her."

"Certainly, Leonore," Twiggy answered, "we don't need you being thrown in jail again, or the psychward at." With that reminder of my dark past, he was off to the door, where he told Evan that she was not welcome. But, that wasn't the end of it.

"AAAAAAHHH!!!!" We heard Twiggy scream. Then, Evan came storming in.

"You can't just treat people like this," Evan roared, brandishing a can of mace, "we're not over until I say we are!"

"No," Manson retorted, "we were over when you didn't answer the phone on my birthday."

She was speechless.

"Please get out of my house before I call the police or sick Leonore on you," I stood up and glared her down, "whichever is more ferocious." Manson added as an aside. Twiggy stumbled back in.

"She maced me," he screamed, holding his red eyes.

"The Fuck?" Fred rushed in with a gun.

"Oh good," Manson smiled, "Fred, give me that." Fred handed the shotgun over to Manson, who cocked it and pointed it at Evan, "oh and it's loaded too! No more of this shit. Get the fuck out of my house!" Evan's mouth dropped open, and she started tearing up.

"But Manson I love you," she sobbed, "and you are threatening to shoot me?!"

"Yeah, you love me," Manson continued, "please. You have disrespected those who I have loved before you ever came around, and disrespected me as well. I wouldn't call that love."

She looked at her designer heels and was silent.

"You don't love me," Manson yelled, "you love free drugs!" At that, she dropped her mace and fled from the house.

"Never ever share your drugs with 19-year-old groupies," Twiggy concluded, "because shit like that happens when you do."

It was silent for a couple minutes, everyone completely motionless.

"So," I sighed, breaking the silence that had consumed the room. Manson, Twiggy, and Fred all turned to look at me, Twiggy's eyes and area around them still bright red, "I kind of want to see a movie tonight." I said.

"Yeah," Manson replied, "that sounds good."