Hold Me Tight

Chapter 1

I've spent a little over a year training for my debut. Working out, changing my diet, writing songs, learning choreography, the whole nine yards. Tonight is the night I make my debut on Inkigayo at the SBS Broadcasting Center. Eun-Bi helped me out of our sleek, black SUV and held my hand as she led me through crowds of screaming fans and into the building. I wore my forest green RUEWEY high waist joggers, a white crop top, white bucket hat, & white FILA's. I smiled at the hysterical fans behind my air mask, waiving both of my hands to greet them. Eun-Bi grabbed my hand, and led me inside & to my dressing room.

They sat me in a high, tan & white director chair as I was circled by my team of hair and makeup professionals. I became restless as I sat in my seat, fidgeting with my nails while I stared at myself in the mirror. Eun-Bi came up behind me, putting both hands on my shoulders.

"Stop fidgeting, you're going to be great." she said with clear confidence. She placed a hand in front of her chest, signaling me to breathe deeply. I closed my eyes, breathed in through my nose for 5 seconds, then out through my mouth for 7. I gently opened my eyes and gave her a smile, mouthing, "Thank you".

Our aesthetics team continued to work on me as I calmed down. They swept peach & tan tones of eye shadow across my lids and thinly lined my eyes with black liner & tinted my lips with a rosy lip balm. I nervously smiled at myself in the mirror. Thought I had never considered becoming an idol, it had created a newfound confidence I didn't have before. I could express myself whilst connecting with people through music. It became a new, serious passion. I wanted to excel.

"Y/N," Eun-Bi began as she hung up her recent call. "They're ready for you." Suddenly, it felt as if knots began forming in my stomach. I gulped, jumped out of my seat, and ruffled my hair.

"Okay" I said with another deep breath. "Let's do this."

The show had organized the performers by entertainment group. For BigHit, they had lined up BTS, then TXT, then finishing with me. I hadn't gotten to meet the other groups yet. They had rules against fraternizing / romantic involvement with other groups / individuals of the opposite sex. They didn't want it getting in the way of their careers. Which was fair, but as much as I've enjoyed my new profession I began to feel alone. They moved me into my own dorm / apartment & I was too busy to make friends or see my family. But I need to do this to help my family's business.

As I awaited for them to finish setting up the stage for me, I felt a tap on my shoulder. The members of TXT all stood next to each other and waived at me, and introduced themselves.

"As BigHit family, we wanted to wish you luck." Soobin said with an innocent smile. Their sweet gesture made me smile.

"Thank you guys, that's really nice of you to come watch my performance." I said placing my hands on my cheeks as I became flush.

The hosts called my name and I made my way onto the stage. I was performing my first single, "Blossom". They lit my stage with red & pink lights, displaying cherry blossoms on the screen behind me. I adjusted my earpiece, rose my microphone to my lips, & began.

...

The crowd cheered as I posed at the end of the choreography, a grin plastered on my face. "Thank you!" I said starting to get emotional. I quickly stepped off the stage and Eun-Bi was the first to greet me with a congratulatory hug.

"I'm so proud of you!" She said into my ear, over the crowds still cheering and music beginning to play. She parted from me, still smiling, as I wiped a tear from my cheek.

"Tonight is yours, Y/N." She said, putting her arm around me, leading me to my dressing room. "What do you want to do?"

I held my hand to my belly, feeling it grumble, and gave her a with a half frown, half smirk.

"Honestly, I just want to get something to eat & go home and change into my pajamas." I said with a giggle.

"Okay Y/N," she began with a small laugh. "Let's go get you some food." She looped her arm in mine & she led the way.