Never The Same

Chapter One Lexi

I arrive at school on the Harley I had "borrowed" from my sperm donor. I see the looks on friends face as I pull up beside them.

"Cool bike" Shane says giving me an appreciative look as his eyes rake over my body.

My smile widens as he runs his hand up my thigh. I watch as his eyes come to rest on my cleavage. I can't fault him for it, I had more boobage then most girls I know my age and in the tank top I have on it's on full display. At 17, I know I am alright looking, with my wavy black hair that I had grown out till it was past my ass and an hourglass figure as my best friend Sophia likes to calls it.

"You look pretty cool too" he drawls his eyes now staring into my own.

Feeling uncomfortable I swing my leg over the bike and stand up straight and catch Sophia looking at me worriedly. I give her my best I'm all good smile but I can't even convince myself and I can tell she isn't buying it either. Damn best friends.

I try to avoid the conversation I know is coming and high five our friend Frank and hug Brooke, all the while avoiding Sophia's gaze that i know is trained on me.

Shane wraps his arms around my shoulder bringing me up against his lean body. I smile, this boy is cute, and he wants me. no matter how shit things are at home at least I know he still wants me.

"Party at mine this weekend" He tells our group of friends. "My brother is home from college and he is bringing some of his mates and girls back".

I laugh as Connor wolf whistles and Sarah grimaces, knowing she will be sleeping with any number of them by the end of it, which makes me laugh.

I tune out as they all begin to discuss the logistics of the party that will be raging from tonight through till sunday.

my mind wanders back to last night after my father had shut the door. he had dragged me into the loungeroom where he had thrown me against the wall and as I had slide down to the floor he had kicked me with his boot in the stomach, i remember putting my arms up to ward off majority of the blows. I remember distinctly hearing my mother screaming for him to stop before he killed me. But by then I had zoned out to another place with my ears ringing in my head, as my body took kick after kick.

"Earth to Lexi" I feel Shane shake me, as i come to myself I stare at him irratatedly.

"What?" I snap, coming back to myself. I can still feel the pain in my arms and stomach bit I try to ignore it as I concentrate on what I missed.

Shane laughs like I hadn't just gone off and squeezes me against him.
"I was saying you can stay in my room for the weekend." He raises his eyebrows suggestively earning a few whistles and high fives from our male friends

I nod not really up for the argument I know will come. I like Shane don't get me wrong but I am not going to sleep with him, despite what I'm sure he has heard about me.
I know what has gone around campus about me, people like to think I'm the school slut because of the clothes I wear but it is the furthest from the truth. As far as I have gotten with any guy is some fumbling through our clothes. But I know they've told their friends that we went further and to be honest I don't care what people think so I never corrected it.

I look up and catch Sophia still looking at me rather pointedly now, she inclines her head indicating she wants to talk to me in private.

"Lexi, walk me to class" she demands more then asks, standing up and untangling herself from her long time boyfriend Joel, who noticing her look decides to stay out of it.

I shrug and pull myself away from Shane to follow grabbing my bag from the floor where I had dumped it.
Before I can get to far Shane pulls me back against him. Kissing me with more force then I thought was actually necessary.
But I close my eyes and try to get into the moment but it's hard. Soon enough he ends it seemingly satisfied with his show of affection.

I follow Sophia till we are out of ear shot before she starts on me.

Waving her hands in front of me she demands " How did you get the bike? You know he will be pissed!"

Sophia is the only one of our friends who knows what kind of fucked up family I come from.

I shrug and don't bother to reply because she steam rolls on not really needing me to reply.
"Lexi how bad is it getting at home? Do I need to involve someone?"

I laugh, which brings her brows together in worry.

"Who will you tell?" I ask her as we enter S block heading towards home room. "We both no that not one person on the force will help us". Did I mention my daddy dearest was once a decorated police officer until he lost his partner in a drug shoot out 11 years ago. Before then we were a normal family, where he would come home with flowers for my mum and a book for me. It feels like eons ago.

In saying this I've never been as grateful for the weekends as I have in the past 11 years. It's the only time my lousy excuse of a father doesn't come home. To busy plastering himself all night and day at the pub that's open all weekend night and day.

Sophia sort of gives a nod. Not really trusting herself to speak.

"I'm okay Soph " I try to assure her, I throw my arm across her shoulders as we walk into class and take our seats at the back of the classroom. I know what she is thinking, I've had similar thoughts myself that one day I won't come into school and she will hear of my untimely death. I push it to the furtherest part of my mind. I know Once I go down that rabbit hole there is no coming back.