Billy Hargrove Angst One Shots

"If you really cared about me, you wouldn't do this"

"Come quick! Billy's fighting again!" Someone yelled at you across the crowded room.

"Again?" You sighed and got up from the couch and hurriedly made your through the party to the kitchen.

"Who's the bitch now?! Ha!" You saw the boy you had been dating for 4 months pinning Chris Allen down while repeatedly punching him, his face was bloody and already bruising from Billy's fists and you shot forward.

"Billy! Enough! Come on, leave him alone!" You grabbed his arm and tugged urging him to stop his ceaseless attack, Billy span round with blind rage and shoved you hard, you stumbled back onto the ground and whacked the back of your head into a counter painfully.

You heard a few people gasp and you wrapped your hands around the point of impact as pain pulsated through your head and neck.

"Fuck! Billy what the shit!" you scrambled to your feet, he was stood panting hard, knuckles bloody, a brief expression of shock and regret flashed across his face and then he started laughing when he noticed everyone in the room was watching his reaction to what had happened.

"Whoops, someone's clumsy from all the beer!" he laughed a fake laugh, his voice poked fun at you but his baby blue eyes betrayed him as he looked at you.

"Fuck you." You pushed past him and headed to the front door, heaving it open and storming out into the night., Billy was on your heels, you heard him trying to explain but you didn't want to hear it anymore. You had lost count of the parties he had started fights at over seemingly nothing and everyone had looked to you to break it up even though Billy had told them all you weren't a couple, that "you blew each other sometimes but it was no big deal".

"Look baby I didn't kno—" He tried to explain.

"Enough, Billy, please." You nursed the sore spot on the back of your head. "I just wanna go home." You mumbled.

"I don't get why you're pissed, I didn't do anything wrong, that guy needed to be-" he started to explain, his voice agitated and desperate.

"What? Billy? He needed to be what? Hospitalized? Permanently brain damaged? And what for? Because he called you a bitch? Grow up." You snapped at him aggressively and he stepped away from you in shock, his breathing was shallow and panicked.

"...I can't do this anymore." You sighed as you looked at him, you saw him wince as the words fell from your mouth, as if they had physically caused him pain.

"What...?" He said softly, his voice cracking a little.

"I'm sorry Billy, I can't do this anymore. I can't even call this a break up because you just tell people I'm the girl you 'bang', so whatever it is...it's over" Your eyes started to sting as a silence fell over the pair of you. You struggled to keep your tears at bay and Billy stood still, stoic and cold, his face was troubled, as if he was searching for the right thing to say.

"If you really cared about me you wouldn't do this" he eventually said, looking at you his voice harsh and accusing.

"Are you serious? If I really cared?" his statement made you angry at its absurdity.

"You don't get to do that, Billy, you don't get to insinuate I don't give a shit. It's me who is always pulling you out of fights, it's me who is cleaning up your messes, it's me who defends you to girls you've laid and never called again and it is me who looks after you when your dad has been an asshole. And what thanks do I get? I can't be your crutch anymore, not when you refuse to work on your destructive behaviour. Behind closed doors you are one of the sweetest people I have ever known, but it's all about the act with you and sometimes I don't even know which Billy is the real one." Your voice trailed off as you wiped your eyes.

"I know I fucked up but please don't go." his voice was husky and sad, you never doubted that he cared for you, but you needed more and you knew he wasn't able to give it to you, he wouldn't allow himself too. He knew he had hurt you and now he was paying the price, all the nights you two had spent together laughing at dumb TV shows, the early mornings when you had shared cigarettes in his car, the times he had crawled in through your window with a busted lip because his dad had lost his temper, all slipping away from him because he refused to let his facade drop in the face of the public, he was too scared to be himself infront of his friends for the fear of looking weak and it was now costing him the only person who had seen every side of him and accepted it all.

"I can't contend with your anger. You mean a lot to me, at one point I thought you could love me, but you can't give me what I want and I can't give you what you need." Without further hesitation you walked past him, not making eye contact for fear that if you did you would turn to stone. As you reached the end of the driveway you heard Billy yell out

"FUCK!"

It caused you to pause for a second before you pushed yourself to carry on home.

Monday at school you reached into your locker and grabbed some books as your classmate appeared beside you, you wore sunglasses to hide the dark circles under your eyes and the blotchy marks from where you had been crying.

"Did you and Billy argue over the weekend?" she asked you quietly.

"Well, I'm guessing he told everyone because I haven't said anything" you replied flatly

"No need." She huffed and you looked up, she was glancing over your shoulder and you followed her eyeline. Approaching down the hall was Tommy, Carole and Billy, he had his arm loosely draped around a girl you recognized from gym class and your gut wrenched. You saw that his eyes were also red and puffy, ringed with dark circles, he kept his gaze on you as they passed by your locker and you looked away, holding back more tears.

Later on in class you found a note in your bag, it was Billy's handwriting;

"No-one will ever be you. And I hate it."

For a second you thought about forgiving him but as you peered over your shoulder at him sat at his desk at the back of class, you saw that he was leaning over to a girl, his flirtatious smile painted on as he spoke to her. You shoved your chair back loudly, screwing up the note and you dropped it in the bin at the front of the classroom. As you walked back to your seat, you looked again at him. His smile gone, his posture was slumped and he silently mouthed word 'fuck' to himself.