Colours [MASHIKYU]

23 - Again, Grey

I start going to the garden every day, sometimes with friends, sometimes by myself, sometimes with Diana, sometimes I even imagine Junkyu there with me.

Looking at all the different flowers, naming their colours one by one, remembering how Junkyu taught them to me, fills my whole body with a sense of serenity. The kind of sense I had when Junkyu was by my side. Which I know he still can be, when I need him. But right now I'm with myself, the flowers, Yoshinori, Asahi and Jeongwoo, and I'm doing okay.

One day about a week after I visited the garden for the first time, I take a moment to look around at my friends. I feel a pang that Haruto isn't here, and wish I'd said a proper goodbye to him. But even though he must be sad right now because he's not with Jeongwoo anymore, I know he'll be so much happier out there eventually than he was in here.

Jeongwoo is sitting by a bunch of flowers similar to the cherry blossoms I saw when I was out, his eyes a little red, but with a small smile on his face. He can get through this. We will help him get through this, now that he's our friend.

Yoshinori has sat down on a bench, and is watching Asahi with a smile on his face. Asahi is also smiling, sitting on the edge of the fountain and swishing his hand around in the water. Asahi smiling. It's something we've all wanted to see for so long, and now he is. Maybe because he's singing now. My heart glows when I remember I was the one who told him to sing. I might have actually made a difference in someone's life.

Maybe staying here won't be as unbearable as before. Because now, I'm able to go places that aren't white. One day I might even be allowed to go outside. I could show my friends the cherry blossom park. We could spend golden hour together.

From the way everyone treats me, I can tell they think Junkyu was damaging. But he wasn't. Whenever the ringing comes back I can hear Junkyu telling me about colours over it. When I can't sleep I can feel the warmth of his body next to me in bed. It's because of him that I can see these colours now, this lovely little world that's just for us.

I don't know if I'll forget all this. I don't know if this will last. All I know is that now I'm able to do what I've never been able to do before, and that in this moment I am getting close to happy. New opportunities are all around me.

This new future of mine, of ours, is uncertain. But uncertain is much better than blank and nonexistent. Uncertain is grey.

It is no longer white.

~

Oh. My. God. I can't believe this is over.

Hi! It's Lara speaking now, the author of this story. I mean, now that I think about it technically the whole story was me speaking... aNYWAY THAT'S IRRELEVANT.

I just want to say a huge, HUGE thank you to you (yes, you) beautiful, spectacular, brilliant person who took the time out of your day/week/month/life to read my story.

I've written a lot of stories before, I've been writing since I was six years old (spelling and grammar wasn't quite there, but I tried) and out of every single story I've written, this is the one that's the most special to me. I fell in love with the idea when it popped into my head one random day when I was supposed to be studying and it's made me so excited to be able to write it over the last few months (I write and edit before I upload btw) and share it with all of you and the comments you've given me so far made me smile like an idiot.

Shoutout to my religion teacher for running a visualisation meditation with my class one day where we had to imagine ourselves going through all the colours (every colour scene in this was a place I imagined during that, most of my class just fell asleep during it but my imagination was WILDING) and to the BTS Save Me Webtoon for giving me the hospital idea (also to them for the song Jamais Vu which I listened to while watching a little Mashikyu compilation each time I sat down to write idk it helped), which helped inspire this story. Also a big shoutout to Mashikyu for being cute and cuddly in YGTB lmao.

Also thank you TahliaPendragon again for making the cover and for putting up with me being all pedantic about it and also for reading this story even though you have no idea who any of the Treasure 13 members are. You rock uwu

And I'm gonna say thanks to you readers again because I'm just really thankful to you, okay? Seriously, this story means the world to me and I feel so blessed to have people read it. I was so scared that no one would read it when I uploaded because we're a much smaller fandom than the ones I've written for on here before, but uploading this has been such a great experience with the super sweet comments and messages you guys sent me. Please leave a comment telling me what you thought of it overall because I'm needy and wanna know.

By the way if you have any questions about the writing process or meanings of the story or literally anything I'm more than happy to answer them!

Okay, I doubt many people actually read that whole ramble but if you did then have a hug because ily *virtual hug*.

WOW I'M SERIOUSLY SO SAD THIS IS ENDING.

Hold up real quick good luck to Treasure 13 on their debut!! I can't wait!! Thanks for existing so that this story could exist!! I love you all a lot!!

- Lara xx