Her

Chapter 21

When Lux came back, we ate in silence and I sat closer towards the hearth. My hair was drying in a tangled mess, the locks curling and waving in a uncontrollable frizz thanks to the added heat of the fire. I was simply glad that I didn't have to sleep with wet hair, I tended to get sick. She took the plates and cups and left before coming back, I gripped at the bed covers when she did. I knew what was coming next, she was a creature of habit after all. I'd studied her routine and knew she would crawl into bed and settle for the night. I wouldn't have anything else to do but comply with the ritual and turn in for the night as well.

Just as I expected, she crawled underneath the blankets and furs, her back facing towards me. It gave me a little comfort to know I wouldn't immediately feel groping hands on my frame. I laid down besides her, my back towards her own as I settled down, closing my eyes while simultaneously gripping the covers closer. I hoped maybe she would be too tired or too disinterested in me at the moment to try anything though something inside of me said otherwise. I tucked my head on the pillow, closing my eyes as I could sense the last candle being blown out as the world my eyelids hid somehow managed to get a shade darker.

Then came the soft sounds of her settling to sleep and I thought maybe, just maybe, tonight I could rest with ease. I tried to settle down, no matter what happened tonight I wouldn't be able to stop it whether she took an interest in me or not. Eventually, I felt the gentle hand of sleep caress my face and I went out just like the candle Lux had blown out.

I wasn't for sure when I woke up. It was dark though from what I could tell. The curtains might've been thick but I could usually see the slivers of dawn's rosy fingers peeking through. It seemed the lady of the night still wore her bear skin cloak though. What I was sure of was why I had woken up exactly. My heart clenched but I made no effort to let Lux know I was awake. From what she understood, I was still fast asleep and unaware of her touch.

It was surprisingly soft, the calloused fingers gently tracing the bones in the back of my neck. In soft, sweeping patterns the pads of her fingers followed in an almost innocent manner as if familiarizing herself with my body. Which I was sure she was doing just as I had figured it would happen. I laid still, figuring she might lose interest if she saw I didn't wake up to make a fuss but it didn't seem to be her goal to wake me up as she continued onwards.

Fingers slid from the back of my neck to around my waist gently, feeling and gliding along my sides for a moment before they settled around me. She was pressed her chest to my back, tucking my head under her chin and I wondered how long I could pretend to be asleep while she... She held me? I wasn't sure what to call it. I was sure she could feel hear loud my heart had gotten, feel the organ pulsing rapidly in the hollow chest cavity. She said nothing though if she knew. She just continued to hold me, I could feel her chin on the top of my head as she practically enveloped me in her grasp.

"You're awake, aren't you?" Her voice finally slipped past her lips, soft with the remains of slumber. She shifted slightly, she sounded half awake. "Don't lie, I know you are."

I paused, licking my lips for a moment. "I woke up a little bit ago." I said, deciding not to mention it was when she was touching my hair. I closed my eyes for a moment, fidgeting with the blanket in my grasp. The act of sleeping had coaxed me to bite down all my nervous habits but now that the illusion was broken? There was no point.

"I thought so but I figured you'd go back to bed."

I took a breath, slowly. "Is... Is there something you want from me? Tonight?" I finally gathered the courage to ask. There wasn't any need to agonize myself over tonight's events, waiting for them to unfold. It was best to get get it out of the way.

She paused, her breath hitched for a moment in her chest and I could feel it. She released it quickly enough though. "No. Not tonight. I don't feel like it."

I silently thanked whatever northern gods looked over this pack. Ukaya? It felt as if they would be the ones to watch over this. Though I wondered why she had reacted in such a way. Perhaps it was nerves, Erisim had seemed to make himself clear that things had to proceed to how he had woven the threads of destiny.

"If that's what you wish." I told her quietly and closed my eyes, my heartbeat subdued for the moment as relief flooded me. "So you just want to sleep tonight?"

"I just want to sleep." She agreed, her grip around me readjusting. She seemed to settle down after reassuring me and it seemed herself of the fact.

"Goodnight Cyra."

"Goodnight Lux." I repeated quietly, laying there as I felt her slowly drift off. I stayed awake, unused to a touch that was so benevolent.