Let Me Love You(sequel to All your little things)

Chapter 8

February

I'm exhausted. I had to call my mother to come stay with me this weekend to help take care of mirabella. I feel like a zombie and the past few days Louis and I have both been to busy to skype with me... I miss him and we have barely talked the past 3 or 4 days... I am trying to do better by Mira but it's hard and I feel like crying most of the time. I stand On the bathroom sink holding myself up by my hands my breaths are quick and weak and I'm having a hard time breathing like I can't catch my breath. I feel tears starting to build up behind my eyes and I'm trying to hold it all in but eventually I start to sob again just as bad as it was in front of Lou. I cannot control myself. I end up on the floor in a ball and I don't hear the pounding on the door or when my mom practically knocks down the door to get to me. I feel her hands on me and she surprises me when she picks me up and lays me in my room. i laugh through the tears as she sets me down "you're not that heavy, you weigh the same as you did when you were 13..." I shake my head "not so sure about that" my voice so weak and dull. She sits next to me and adjust my blanket so it fits around me. I sink lower underneath the blanket. She caresses my cheek and I stare at her. I try to give her a weak smile "where's Mira ? " She shakes her head "shhh, don't worry about her I got her." she shakes her head "my baby grew up to fast. " I nod as I look at her "I'm fine." she shakes her head "I'm your mum I know better. You can't lie to me." I nod "it's just ... I miss him so much it kills me sometimes and school and work are both stressful... I feel guilty for not being with Mirabella more and I think I'm not doing my best at school or at being a good fiancée... Work is a joke I can barely stay awake. Mom I just wish I wasn't so stressed out all the time... I feel like I'm going crazy... " And then I start to sob she holds me like the way she did when I told her about me being pregnant. Just like the way she did when thunderstorms came... Except now instead of a baby it's the world on my shoulders...