Heart shaped Skulls

Death By Overdose

Her breath slowly faded, blood drained from her face. But she rather burn it all down then let blue be the color that remains.

Choking. My lungs started to give, spurting to a slow agonizing stop. Jekyll didn't stop her cries of helplessness. Thomas didn't stop shaking me, his eyes hurt me. So full of sadness, so sorrowful. Blood speckled his face as I coughed again my body trying to rid itself of the poison I let past the barricade. Thomas was crying as he saw me die painfully as I choked on my own blood.
(Earlier that day)

I was tired, so tired. But when I heard Grey's voice I perked up instantly. "Rowena! Are you there!" I sprang up from the ground. "Grey?! Where are you? how did you find me?" I was turning in all directions to see if I could peer over the corn. I didn't see where my brother was and truthfully had thought I was hearing things. "Rowena?! Where are you?!" My heart jumped in my throat "here! I'm here!" I screamed my tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth. The sun peaked over the horizon sending a beautiful pink haze over the clouds. I followed my brother's voice jumping around giddily at the thought of freedom. Finally, I could put this sick nightmare in my past.

Grey's voice was gone. I yelled as I cupped my hands around my mouth " GREY! WHERE ARE YOU?!" I was confused I wasn't seeing no road, no car nothing. A sickening pit was growing in my stomach as bile rose at the thought of Grey leaving me behind. Then I stopped in my tracks. That damn house. It stared back at me with a dire itching sense of dread. "What?! But I heard his voice coming from here? GREY! HELP!" I started to spring into action when Drayton was bulldozing towards me. "NOOO! GREY!" I hollered starting to burst into a run. Was that Grey? Was it really? Did you ever question why I was so quiet? I stopped and so did Drayton his labored breathing wheezing behind me. The horrible feeling of being drenched in icy cold water washed over me. Grey was never there. Only me, you followed my voice back here, back home. I fell my knees digging into the dirt you know, I like this place I can hurt so many people without being locked away. This is home and your never leaving. My lungs couldn't work, wouldn't work. I was like a fish out of water. I placed my slick palms to the muddy ground as I struggled to breath. Grey isn't coming. I'm going to die. I want to die.

It was a blur. One minute I was on the ground the next being thrown into Thomas's room. When my cold body hit the floor I just laid there, unmoving. I wanted to fade away, my own fucking body was against me. I balled my fists up till my nails punctured my skin letting blood ooze onto the wooden floorboards. Thomas attempted to pick me up or grab my hand but I refused. I growled or shrank away when any sort of movement came towards me. I wanted so bad to rip the boards from the window and fling myself out, if the fall didn't kill me then Im sure glass could fix it.

I was so full of Hope, happiness that I was blindly following my brother's voice. I missed hearing his voice.

I wasn't sleeping. My hand was clenching the razor tightly under the tear soaked pillow. He was opening the door the fake diamond twisting as it popped open. I didn't have to look to know who it was. It was my eighteenth birthday, I wasn't a child anymore and he knew that. My body was shaking in rage and horror. His footsteps drew closer until they stopped at my bed side. I gulped down the vomit. "Daddy is bored, so I thought we would have some fun" his sickening sing song voice made me cringe. I felt the bed dip as he pulled back the covers. He was close and I had a chance the only chance to be specific. I turned around twisting my body painfully as I sliced the blade through his throat. He gurgled and spurted as he tried to form words. Everything was moving, swirling around like I was on a rollercoaster. I flipped over landing my bare feet on the icy floor. My room was like a toddlers, so girly, childish. Pink everywhere, I despised it. It reminded me of those horrible nights. Coughing drew my eyes to the real monster on the floor. His hand reached out desperately as I watched his eyes. I watched the life pull away from the disgusting husk, the thick fat at his neck slowly stopped pulsing blood. The way his eyes went dull awaked something primal, something feral.
"JACK! YOU, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" slowly my eyes drifted to my mother's. Her black hair in disarray and her eyes blown comically wide.
"He hurt me" that's all I could say even though I was safe I was in so much shock, after years of torment I had escaped my hell. She held the man on the ground that had already passed swaying back and forth crying hysterically. Why wasn't I being cradled in her arms, her crying for the terrible past I had went through. Tears prickled at my eyes the stinting pain coursing through my orbs. "YOU BITCH! YOU KILLED HIM! he didn't deserve this!" I let the small breath out that was trapped painfully in my tight throat. I clenched the dripping razor tighter my knuckles loosing their color. "YOU WERE ALWAYS A TROUBLE MAKER! A DUMB LITTLE SLU-" I rushed forward making her words become stuck on her tongue. I slammed her against the pink coated wall as I forced her mouth open. Her pained screams echoed throughout the house as I sliced into her tongue. Blood was surely choking her as it speckled on my cheek making me flinch. The sound of a organ plopping onto the floor was following with weeping silence. Mother's hands that clenched my shoulders fell limp. She wasn't dead I knew that and even though she was a horrible mother I didn't want her dead. Grey's shocked wavering voice made the razor clash against the now tinted floor. "Rowena! What happened?!" His green orbs that he had inherited from myself dashed from our mother to the Gene donor on the floor. I wish I could've said something reassuring or heart warming to calm my brother but all of the loving words were trapped in my stone heart. The crashing of the door shook both of us "THIS IS THE POLICE! GET ON THE GROUND WITH YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD!" My brother looked like a balloon about to burst. When I didn't comply they painfully threw me down my face hitting hard against the floor boards. The warm sensation flooding out of my sinuses blurred my vision so instead I searched for his crying and spoke out loud "Grey! You look for me okay! I love you so much!" The blood built in my throat making me choke on my words. He was so little, his face distorted in shock and fear. If I could I would cover his face with my hand then see that facial expression again.
That. That was twelve years ago.
STOP! You weren't supposed to see that! I'm supposed to be in control not YOU! Jekyll's horrid screech threw me from my distasteful past. I creaked my eyelids open as I peered around. Thomas was asleep, or at least he looked like it from this position on the floor. I sat up a thick blanket fell from my shoulders. That overwhelming feeling of sadness washed over me like a tsunami. I clenched the cloth in my fists, why does he care so much? I'm broken. I must seem like a side show freak to him, that's why he cares. HE FEELS PITTY! I could feel the pint up screams wanting to burst from my insides. I'm worthless. My brother isn't coming. I can't get out. I stopped rocking to turn my head emotionlessly to my bag tucked carefully under the mattress. I didn't waste time to scurry silently to the bed. I reached under the bed my thin fingers grazing the leather duffle bag as tears swelled at my eye line. Once I grasped the shoulder strap I slid it closer to myself, my heart beating erratically. what are you doing? Jekyll's concerned voice echoed in my mind. I didn't answer instead I let the tears do that for me as they collided with the old rotten wooden floor. I originally was going to open it there but when I remembered the sound of the zipper I was cautious and instead took it with me to the conjoined bathroom. I did stop, to look at the door and at that moment I decided. I put the duffle bag over my shoulder to let myself have two free hands as I quietly took the decomposing mahogany chair and stuck it tightly under the door knob. I don't like this, stop Jekyll warned me but did I listen. No. I crept faster to the bathroom where I heard Thomas move in his bed. I froze. I turned around my face saying it all as I looked him dead in his sleepy eyes. It didn't take him any time to look concerned with my slinky movements as he grunted the tiredness still lingering in his throat. "I'm sorry" I finally choked out as I lunged in the tiny bathroom. Fear enveloped his whisky colored orbs as I twisted around.

As soon as I plunged myself into the bathroom I locked it and looked around fiercely to find something to block it for a small moment. STOP!  Jekyll once again yelled now growing extremely concerned. I couldn't ignore her anymore. "NO, IM DONE! I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE!  IM A SLAVE TO YOU, TO THEM... and my past!" I screamed as saliva speckled out of my maul. I settled on a old broom in a corner when I heard the thundering footsteps of Thomas rushing out of his bed. I held the handle fiercely as my head pounded with adrenaline. I was to far ahead, I can't turn back now. Or that's what I thought. I shoved the broom under the handle prompting it surprisingly tight under the knob. I heard the banging but I didn't stop, I really should've though. I threw open the duffle bag tossing articles of clothing til I found the bottle. Amoxapine. It's a class of antidepressants known as Tricylics. I slammed it down hurriedly on the sink counter as I digged more into the bag the strength behind the door starting to sound worrying. I found it. I held tightly to the cold neck of the brown whisky that I had drank foolishly in my adulthood. I didn't have much time, Thomas was busting in the door, Jekyll was yelling making it hard to think. I took both culprits to the bathtub where I turned on warm water. I could feel the part of me wanting to pull back from this, to throw it down the toilet and curse it as it swirls around the base like bile. But I didn't. I didn't move to throw it away. If I was going to die, I was going to die on my own terms. I popped the pill bottle open and dumped the figurative death down my mallet. Once I didn't hear the rattle of anymore pills in the orange bottle I undone the brown liquid and chugged it. The burning coursed throughout my esophagus and down into my stomach. I let myself catch a breath casually glancing to the giving door as naturally Thomas and his older brothers pounded against the door. The water was now currently up to my breasts and the horrifying effects started to take effect. Everything was spinning, so I laid back hysterical hiccups making me shudder with each growing cough. My stomach hurt like a thousand knifes and my heart pounded a million beats per second. The percentage of having a heart attack rised as well as the water. It was to my chin and I started to slip, slowly under the water.

Like a red rose blooming blood rised from my throat and out of my maul to the crystal clear water. It spread like a disease, a horrifying disease. The hushed cracking of the door being successfully busted in was muffled by the rising water. Outlines crowded around; one leaned down to hurriedly turn the water off while the larger one reached into the tinted water. Like a holy angel pulling a sinner from hell they lifted me above the water and to their chest. I was dying, and I never imagined I would go out this way. With so much chaos, screaming Jekyll couldn't take over she was powerless like a dull rock. Thomas was weeping sorrowful cries while Hoyt tried to give out orders. All I could make of it through my blurred vision and distant hearing was "in the cabinet"
Choking. My lungs started to give, spurting to a slow agonizing stop. Jekyll didn't stop her cries of helplessness. Thomas didn't stop shaking me, his eyes hurt me. So full of sadness, so sorrowful. Blood speckled his face as I coughed again my body trying to rid itself of the poison I let past the barricade. Thomas was crying as he saw me die painfully as I choked on my own blood.  However, as fast as I was thrusted into Thomas's loving arms I was thrown on the cold tile. A slick clammy hand pried my mouth open sticking a bottle deep down. It tasted more vile than liquor making my weak drifting body to recoil from it. No matter how much I tried to pat it away I couldn't move, I was paralyzed. The disgusting liquid bulldozed through my strangled throat straight to my stomach. It raised a tsunami of bile the bodily fluids rising fast. Whom ever it was that thrusted the blurry bottle down my mallet threw the empty medicine letting it break somewhere in the room as they preoccupied themselves with turning my head to the side.

The occupants of the small bathroom we're shook. Especially Thomas who now held the medicated woman in his arms even though his older brothers told him of the impending effects of the purging. He didn't care, he loved her and was horrified that she had did this to her self. She was his light, dull but beautiful in her silent glow. She spurted sending vomit on both of them indeed purging the vile that could've most definitely killed her. The other males exchange saddened faces at the troubled woman as they backed up at the rank smell. Thomas didn't mind one bit instead drained the bathtub and climbed in with his small Rowena against his chest.

Jekyll was quiet. They were quiet. But she was still. Content.