(One Piece X Reader) I Wish

Keep your eyes off me

Is it possible to die of awkwardness? Because I am pretty sure I am currently in the process of dying from awkwardness, right now. 

'How in the hell do I get out of this mess?!' I pondered deeply, as I tried my best not to hurl. Luckily for the moment, at least, I didn't feel any pain or uncomfortable sensations. 'Please let that be a sign that one of our guys found it, already... I am just over all this...' I cried internally, before my heart sank at hearing a knock on the door. 

'OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK-'  

"I am busy here. Do not disturb." Akainu grumbled, as I heard a female voice go to speak up. "Uh, but sir?-" "Don't make me repeat myself." "R-right!"The female voice gulped, before I heard footsteps urgently run away. If I had to guess, that was probably the person who actually had to be doing this awkward task. 

"Are you aware of how tasking it is to be in my position?" Akainu asked me, which caused me to freeze momentarily. 'K-keep calm and don't blow it, (y/n)! You're their most wanted person, so you must not get found out!! If that means playing goodie two-shoes with the ratbag, then so be it!' I bit my lip. 'Also, keep in mind that you're not the only person on their hit list! Your friends are in just as hot water as you are, especially Ace! If anything, it'd be best to keep the magma geezer away from any of them as much as possible!' I thought, really trying to keep my cool. 'If worst comes to worst, and you do get found out, at least they won't be able to kill you, since they want you only alive. But, if they find out that the others... then there is no doubt that they'd murder them! Though that's just the worst case scenario, the ultimate goal is for everyone to get out of this ordeal unscathed!' I noted in my mind, before holding in a sigh. 

"No, I have no idea, sir." I simply answered, proceeding with this hellish massage, as I could practically see his smirk. Ugh, gag me.  

'N-not literally, whoever has my voodoo doll! Or I will personally strangle you!' I quickly thought, as I felt a deep chuckle rumble beneath my hands. 

"Ah, a realist. It is quite rare that I encounter a fellow officer that is not a simpering wimp or a complete suck up." Akainu admitted, as I held in the urge to roll my eyes. Gee, I wonder why? It couldn't possibly be because of your short fuse and tendency to go overboard! My evidence? The incident with the civilians of O'hara, what the monster did to Ace- the list could go on and on. 

'Just wrap your fingers around his neck, and snap it in two, (y/n)!' My dark side tempted me, as I continued to fight against it. It was proving harder and harder by the minute to fight against though, I'd admit. However, at least for the time being, sadly, I was still nowhere near as strong as he was. To even attempt such a stupid thing would only do harm. Not to mention he is made of lava, so I'd prob burn in an instant if I even tried. 

"You must feel honored to be assigned such a task." He told me next, as I really tried to hold last week's lunch in. 'Yeah, I feel honored alright... just as honored as if I was made to be Lucci's concubine.' 

"Of course, sir. It is such a privilege." I lied through my teeth, trying to take a page from Usopp's book. 'I know it is difficult, (y/n), but you have to hold your distaste in!' I pep-talked myself, before something even more embarrassing happened, that made me crave the sweet embrace of death even more. 

The magma man had flipped himself around, which naturally revealed his bare chest. 

It wasn't that action of his that made me want to die. 

It was what some bizarre part of me said deep down, that I wasn't even aware existed until now, that made me want to just melt into the floor. 

'For a middle-aged man, he isn't so bad looking...' It said, which made me want to bash my own head in. 'AAAAHH; WHAT THE HELL?! STOP IT, STOP IT RIGHT NOW!'