save me.

22. amnesia

me and Calum covered our eyes and walked out to go finish some 'business' in the shower.

damn Calum could make me feel amazing, he was amazing too. once we were done with our 'business' we took actual showers. i stepped out of the shower and grabbed us towels.

"that was amazing" Calum laughed lightly.

"you were amazing" I smirked walking out the bathroom swaying my hips.

I went into our bedroom and walked into our closet, I opened my drawer full of pajamas and grabbed out a pair of purple fluffy pants. then I grabbed a sports bra out my hair up in a bun.

I walked back into the bathroom just as Calum came into our room, he gave me a smack on the ass as I went back into the bathroom. I hung up my towel on the hanger and strolled out into the kitchen.

I laughed loudly as I saw Michael and Jessica laying on the ground sleeping, still naked.

"hey faggots get up" I leaned down and smacked Michael and Jessica's face lightly.

they both jumped and with Jessica being on top of Michael she fell off of him. I looked away from her as she sprawled out, face up, on the ground.

"ewey put some clothes on you two" Calum laughed as he walked around the naked couple.

"Jess? is that you?" Michael spoke patting his hands

all over her face.

his hands started to trail down her face as he moved her hands near her boobs.

"haha it is you" Michael laughed evilly causing Jessica to smack him.

Michael stood up and lifted the practically sleeping Jessica up off the ground and carried her to there room bridal style.

I turned back around to see Calum sitting on the counter swinging his legs back and forth.

God he was gorgeous. he was wearing just basketball shorts and the necklace I bought him.

"hey baby your gorgeous" Calum spoke out of no where.

"I love you" I started to tear up.

he opened his arms wide and I walked over to him and hugged him tightly. he let go and jumped off the counter. he grabbed my cheeks and looked into my eyes for what felt like forever.

and in that moment all that matter was Calum and I.

he kissed me like no other kiss before, this kiss was full of love and lust. little did I know that was the last kiss I would get.

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

I woke to the loud noise of my alarm going off. I jumped and remember that it was a dream. I reached over thinking I would touch Calum but remember that was all a flashback.

Calum had passed 2 years ago today. he had gone on a trip with the band and during the trip he started showing the symptoms of schizophrenia.

he soon when so crazy that he killed himself. i started to tear up and sob thinking of all the memories we shared.

"makaylin are you okay?" I heard Michael's voice from outside the door.

I chose not to answer and just slammed my face into my pillow. I heard Michael opened the door. I felt him sit down next to me.

"it's Calum isn't it.."

I nodded as I heard him sniffle. he rubbed my back reassuring me.

"I'll be right back baby" I heard Michael slightly whisper to the door.

Jessica must of come down the the room to see what was going on.

"I'm really sorry, I miss him all the time too. do you want to go visit him today?" Michael asked sweetly.

"yes" I stuffled out.

"okay we can go later" Michael kissed my cheek and left the room.

I stayed there sobbing for a few hours, I knew Jessica and Michael could hear but they were used to it.

I trotted out into the living room that held the most memories of all. I grabbed out a bowl and a box of lucky charms. I opened the fridge and pulled out the milk.

I poured it into the bowl and added cereal after. I slumped down on the couch and turned on the tv.

"and today we remember the tragic death of Calum Hood.

it was 2 years ago today he passed" the news reporter spoke on the tv.

I quickly turned off the tv and just ate my cereal. i cried a little bit more as I sat there alone. I could just imagine having Calum's safe arms wrapped around me again.

I stopped crying as i heard Michael and Jessica come out into the kitchen.

"morning love" I looked up to see Michael holding Jessica's hand but looking over at me.

"hi" I smiled slightly.

"you okay now?" Jess asked.

"I'm better"

"we can go to see him later" I heard Michael speak from the kitchen.

"sounds good" I smiled a bit.

i looked over to see Michael and Jessica kissing, I smiled on the outside but I was breaking open on the inside.

I just wished Calum was here.

• • •

I spend most of my day writing,

specifically to Calum. I loved writing letters for him when I went to visit him. I always thought that he read them and I really hoped he did.

I was finishing writing and I was putting on clothes to go visit him in. I kept all his clothes so I put on a pair of his shoes and a shirt of his.

I wore my own pants though, I pulled my hair up into a high pony tail just like he always adored. I put on a little bit of make up just like Calum liked.

"ready to go makaylin" I heard Michael asks form the living room.

"I'm coming" I roared as I threw on some vans.

Michael, Jessica and I all pilled out of the apartment and into the elevator. it was always awkward after Calum was gone.

Jessica rarely talked ever since the day Calum passed. Michael was the only one who really talked other than me.

Jessica sat down next to me in Michael's rugged car. we didn't talk much at all through out the car ride.

we pulled up to the foggy cemetery and slowly walked out. Michael and Jessica held hands as we walked into the creepy atmosphere.

I walked in front of the couple and ran around quickly trying to find his grave. I finally found it after a few minutes of searching.

I held my letter tightly and bent down next the the grave, I looked up to see Michael and Jessica looking down at me live my parents.

I dropped down the letter and replaced the flowers. I spoke to him for a few minutes about what's been happening and stuff like that.

next was Michael, he talked to Calum for what seemed like ages. he cried through most of his conversation.

lastly was Jessica she just sat there. running her fingers over the engraved letters. she whispered words to him and teared up a little. she was always really close with Calum.

Calum Thomas Hood would be so missed. I still couldn't believe it had been 2 years.

~

so this is crazy and I'm finishing the book after this

the last chapter will be the epilogue

- Jessica love all of you thanks for the reads <3