Bound by Desire | Completed

severed ties

• • •

I was at Nasir's house, trying on different outfits for the party later tonight.

There wasn't actually a dress code and Jaxon just told me to wear something that I'd feel comfortable in.

"Okay what about this?" I asked him while turning so he could see it from every angle.

It was just a black leather dress with a corset on top. I don't know what made me buy it, but I was going for kinky vibes and I felt like leather was the way to go.

He glanced at me briefly, "Bitch you look like a damn fool."

"Nasir!" I laughed, "Stop playing!"

"I'm not close to playing. You couldn't stop foot off the porch with me wearing that." He snapped his fingers, "Next!"

I was still laughing when I went to change into another outfit.

"Why won't you just go naked?" He called down the hall.

"Because he said wear something comfortable!" I yelled back, "Naked is comfortable, but not respectable! I don't want them to think I'm a hoe!"

"Girl it's a sex party. Y'all all some hoes."

He had a point.

Taking off the dress, I pulled on fishnets and put the corset back on.

I went back in the living room, waiting for his opinion.

"You not letting that corset go I see."

"I watched a YouTube video and this is what the lady said they wore. You want me to wear a damn tunic or something?"

He laughed and sat up, "I like it. What kinda shoes?"

"I have a pair of heels that'll be cute in my room."

"Go get 'em." He instructed.

After changing into the clothes I came here in, I went down the hall to my grandma's house.

I called her the day after Christmas, hoping we could talk about what happened. I didn't want to move out, especially when I knew she'd struggle even more.

She didn't answer, nor did she call me back.

My feelings were beyond hurt at that point because I wasn't in the wrong in this situation, yet she was siding with someone who'd just overdrawn her account by 10 grand.

I was very emotional about the way this was playing out. Though I made the decision to leave, I feel as if I was forced out.

It seemed as if she was abandoning me just as my mom had.

That line of thinking is why Jaxon found me crying in the living room yesterday morning.

It hadn't turned into an ugly cry yet, so I wasn't embarrassed about it at all. He was sweet and comforting, telling me another bad story that didn't exactly relate to mine to make me feel better.

Much like last time, it worked.

It was so easy to like him, so easy to forget that we weren't a couple.

Opening the door to the house, I was welcomed by the smell of something burning.

Walking into the kitchen, I saw that someone had left a pan on the stove. There was butter, bread, and cheese next to it, so I'm assuming they were about to make a grilled cheese sandwich.

I turned the stovetop off before going in the back to find my grandma. She was asleep, not even noticing the pungent smell of the scorched skillet.

I gently shook her awake, "Grandma."

"What!?" She asked loudly, opening her eyes in surprise.

"Why did you leave the stove on?"

"I didn't."

So Paisley was about to burn the house down.

I can't even fathom how she managed to pull all of that stuff out, then just leave. She was inconsiderate and selfish, not giving a fuck about anybody but herself.

"Well your thief of a granddaughter just almost set the house on fire." I told her as she sat up.

She didn't respond to that part, looking me over slowly, "How are you?"

"I'm fine I guess."

How did she expect me to be?

"You ready to come home?"

I shook my head, "I'm not coming back unless you tell that girl she's not welcome here. I'm tired of her doing low-down stuff to me."

My grandma probably thought I would get over it but I wouldn't. It was different this time.

"I'm not living somewhere where I get stolen from." I continued, "And it's not right that you keep defending her."

"What isn't right is what you did to get that money." She said while moving off of the bed and into her chair, "I raised you better than to be some man's whore."

Now that shit hurt.

I'd had the thought countless times about myself, but to hear her say it aloud was entirely different.

I stared at her, wondering how she could even say that after she saw first hand the changes I helped make around the house.

"So go get your clothes and just come on back home."

Turning around, I left out of her room and went into mine, getting the shoes I came for.

If I was even thinking about coming home at first, I wasn't anymore. Nothing I did warranted being treated like that by people who claimed to be my family.

Once I'd gotten them, I made my way towards the front.

"Kyser you know how your sister is. We'll work through it."

They'll work through it by themselves. I wouldn't be taking any part in that.

When she saw me pull the door open, she quietly said, "I love you."

My response was to close the door.

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