Bound by Desire | Completed

graduation day

• • •

There's a meme on Twitter that accurately describes my entire life: "Disappointed but not surprised"

That's the thought that continuously went through my head when I searched the venue for my grandma's face.

It could be said that it was my fault she wasn't here since I was the one who cut her off, but I sent her a graduation invitation and hoped she would still come.

Of course she didn't.

Nasir was here, as well as Jaxon, though he couldn't act as if he were here for me.

So I accepted the flowers and balloons from Nas, posed for pictures with the few classmates I actually did like, and tried not to stare at Jaxon too much.

Josh walked up to me with open arms, "Everybody!" He yelled loudly, "My future wife just graduated!"

"Leave the drugs alone." I laughed while embracing him, "Congrats."

"Fuck all that. You coming out tonight?"

I would've gladly accepted but Jaxon told me earlier that he had something planned for us tonight, "I can't. I'm busy."

He glanced around to make sure no one was listening, "Tell that old nigga y'all can drink tea and read the paper tomorrow."

At the shocked expression on my face, he continued, "You really thought I was gon' stay in that closet and miss y'all arguing over me?"

I don't know why he was just now saying something when that was months ago.

"You never said anything though." I replied.

"'Cause my FBI agent be listening to me. I wasn't tryna get y'all caught up and shit. But you graduated now so it's cool."

"Josh come get in the picture!" Some girl yelled from across the room.

He nodded at her before looking back to me, "Just hit me if you tryna slide."

Nasir was in my ear then, "You can't do shit right."

Well he never told anybody.

• • •

Beyoncé's netflix documentary played in the background as I examined myself in the mirror, making sure what I had chosen to wear looked as good as I remembered.

The blue formfitting dress hugged my body, illuminating even the slightest curve I may have had.

I was still undecided on which shoes to wear, but that problem disappeared when Jaxon called me.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I'm so sorry Kyser but It's going to have to be tomorrow when we celebrate."

Disappointed but not surprised.

Instead of relaying to him that disappointment, I instead replied with, "That's fine. Is everything okay?"

He tried to laugh but it came out sounding choked, "Yeah everything is fine. I'll see you tomorrow."

Him saying tomorrow struck me as odd, "Are you not coming over tonight?"

"Not tonight."

I heard what sounded like Cheyenne say, "They're waiting for you."

"I love you." Jaxon stated, "Tomorrow."

The phone hung up before I could respond.

Sighing, I walked in the guest room where Nasir was on the phone, "You legit put your dirty ass shoe on my fuckin' head 'cause you too fuckin' pussy to tell your lame ass homeboys you like sucking dick!"

My hand covered my mouth as I tried to keep from laughing at his truthful statement.

For him not to be gay, Eric was trying so hard to get in contact with Nas.

He called from private numbers, used apps to call him, even used family members phone.

Hilarious.

As they continued to talk, I laid across the bed, trying to decide if I wanted to take Josh up on his offer to go out.

I already had the mindset to go somewhere, so I might as well call him.

Right when I reached for my phone, my doorbell rang.

I made eye contact with Nas, asking if he'd invited anyone, to which he shook his head no.

When I peeped through the hole, I saw none other than Ava standing there with a card and a bouquet of flowers.

We hadn't talked since I refused to have sex with Chris and she said that shit to me.

There was no reason for me to even open the door, so I turned and walked away. Ignoring the incessant knocking.

• • •

After leaving the last of many parties that night, I stumbled my way to my door, pausing when I saw someone standing there.

"Kyser please talk to me." Ava pleaded.

"Girl if you don't get the fuck away from my door." I managed to say, "What happened to pussy gets old? Leave me and my old ass pussy alone."

"I didn't mean that. I was just angry that you weren't willing to help me after everything we've been through."

"You mean after everything you gave me." I reminded her, "Lets keep the same energy from before."

I wasn't trying to hear her excuse, or apology, or whatever the fuck else she came to talk about. When she used a low moment I experienced, and thought highly enough of her to tell her about it, against me, then she didn't have shit else to say to me.

"Just listen!" She nearly shouted, "Please."

"Whatever you have to say is between you and God. Be blessed beloved."

"Chris is telling him. Tomorrow."

"Well you better get the hell outta dodge."

"I've been having sex with him this whole time
but he wants you." She continued, ignoring my responses, "The only way he won't say anything is if we have a threesome with him. It'll be just like last time. One time and that's all Kyser."

She was so damn stupid to not see it wouldn't be one time. He had leverage over her, and saw she would be willing to do anything to keep him from telling.

Now why would he let that go?

"Ava." I started slowly, "Figure it out. I can't help you."

Tears marred her face, "I will literally get on my knees and beg you."

"And I'll still say no."

I watched my former friend walk down the hall, her head hanging low, as she went home to man who didn't know the real her.

__________

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