Maltt's Makings: The Sequel

But is he? [Song crappost]

Hammer casually sits down in front of a piano that's clearly too small for him.
He begins to play a tune, and he clears his throat.
He begins to sing,, a,, strange song,,

„Every time I go to dinner,
It seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner.
I'll sit down at the breakfast table;
I can talk, they're not able.
When I look at them I find,
There's a single question on their mind.
...I wish it could go back to the way it was,
It's not easy now because.."

„..My whole family thinks I'm gay!
I guess it's always been that way..
Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk,
Makes them think I like... boys..."
„(And I make noise..)"

„The goddamn question just won't go away,
And I get asked every single day,
But the way they ask it is not a disguise,
Like, "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?"
"That's.. funny.."
This is the worst, baby this is my fear,
Now their opinions are crystal clear, because.."

„..My whole family now is shocked!
I'm in the closet, and the door is locked!
Now all my glory days are gone..
I was John Elton,
No wait now I'm Elton John.."

„My whole family now suspects
Watching Sponge Bob had side effects..
I'm not gay, and that's what I said!
If I'm gay, hey Malt, strike me dead—"

He starts wheezing and laughing a bit, before calming himself and continuing the song.

„Just 'cause I'm afraid of the snow,
Or my favorite color is the rainbow!"

„I don't mean to yell, but I fear I must
Because I'm loosing the people I thought I could trust..!
'Cause, even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay!"
„(Motherfucker..)"

„You all probably think I'm gay..
Man, this song is counterproductive..!"

„My whole family thinks I'm gay!
What did they know, anyway?
You gotta look right through the haze!
Easy pick up, it was just a phase..
..My whole family thinks I'm queer!
That is all I ever hear.."

„But I've been as straight as a ramp!
If you don't count Bible Camp.."

(Song: My Whole Family by Bo Burnham)

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