It's been a week since me and Sam kind of split up and it's been probably one of the worst weeks of my life. He's been constantly turning up at my house and then coming to my work and just constantly being where I am. I did speak to him midweek and because I literally have no strength when I'm around him we ended up in bed together.
Tommy promised to take my mind off it today and him and Nathan invited me to go wedding shopping with them both for their suits.
I was wearing a grey jumper with my ripped jeans and a pair of trainers.
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"I'm so excited for you wedding." I told Nathan after we'd finished. "It seems like you've been together forever."
"I know it's getting exciting as we get closer. I did just want to ask you something though. As Freddie's godmother we want you to watch him on the day. Both our families will be there but he loves you and I want you to have a part in the day."
"Thank you." I said and gave him a hug. "It would be a pleasure."
"I was going to ask Tommy but as usher he'll have other duties."
"Mate I'm taking this so seriously you know." Tommy exclaimed. "Basically I'm going to organise where everyone is on the day so without me the day would be a disaster."
"Better do a good job then."
"Lace how have you been?"
"It's just hard you know. I feel like I'm being hurt by him but I can't stand the thought of us being apart. He came over on Wednesday and it's like I just fell back into the past and I just wanted to be with him again."
"Look I think everyone goes through that at some point. You've just got to decide which pain is worth it and whether you can move on."
"I just feel like I'm no one without him and I don't want to get upset but I feel so lonely right now."
"Don't cry." Tommy said and wrapped his arm around me. "Look everyone knows Sam is in the wrong and no one would blame you for being angry but you know it's not good for you to jump back into bed with him."
"Tommy's right. I think you just need to distance yourself. Don't rise to his apologies until he proves this won't happen again or you put an end to it all."
****
I went to the gym that afternoon to go and work off a bit of steam and keep up with my normal routine, I couldn't keep sulking forever.
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I was just finishing up on the treadmill when Harry joined me as I had some water.
"Hi." I said and gave him a hug. "How are you?"
"I'm good thank you. Just got back from Brighton actually with Chloe."
"Must be serious then." I told him.
"It is. I just wish we didn't have as much agg in our groups right now. Something happened between her and Jayden and then there's the argument between her and the girls so it's just all a bit much right now."
"Look I don't really know the girl but Ella and Kelsey were very welcoming to me last week so I can't say anything bad about them."
"Chloe's misunderstood I think. I know she does say some rude things in the middle of an argument but she does have a heart of gold." He said. "Anyway What are you doing in here in the middle of the day? Usually you come at night."
"Just needed to get out of the house for a bit and this was the easiest place to come."
"Look if you ever need someone to come and talk to then my door is always open."
"Thank you. I'll let you get back to your workout now and I'll see you soon."
"See you later."
I finished up my workout and then I made my way out to be greeted with Billie.
"Hello lovely." She said and gave me a hug. "You look hot and sweaty."
"Thanks. I've just finished, I was hoping I wouldn't bump into anyone."
"Look I heard what happened between you and Sam and I don't want to fight his battle for him so I'm not getting into it, but you've become a good friend of mine and the boys love you so if you ever need anyone were always here."
"Thank you." I said and wrapped my arms around her for another hug. "It means a lot."
"He lost a gem in you, I'm sure he realised that now."
"Maybe just a bit too late."
****
I stayed in that night and was ready and raring to go for the photo shoot the next day that Georgia had organised for us.
"Right girls so we all know that I've had some troubles with my own skin and I think everyone has them problems as well. But we can't change the skin we have and I think we all need to embrace it. So girls let's take our make up off and have our photos taken."
I was first up to the camera and they filmed me taking my make up off before they took my photos.
"Babe you look amazing." Georgia said.
"Oh that's an amazing angle." Bobby complimented me.
They took a few before I went back to the front of the studio with Chloe Ross.
"I've got to admit that did feel amazing." I told her. "I've always had insecurities about my skin so to hear people complimenting it was nice."
"Babe I've got to say you do look amazing right now. Like you don't even need make up."
"I think it just gives me confidence and hides all the little things only I would notice. But I've got through this and it has helped."
"Do you never go out without make up?"
"No literally I'll even rush to put it on if my Mum is coming round. I guess that's why things felt a bit different with Sam as he's probably the only person I felt comfortable enough to be bare faced around."
"Oh babe."
"No it's fine. I think if we were to end things after all this I would definitely thank him for boosting my confidence in that way. He never once acted differently around me and made me feel proud of the skin I have."
****Author's Note****
I hope you like this chapter.
Guys what do you want to see happen between her and Sam in the final, I desperately need some suggestions.
