Unknown Regret

Chapter 1.

I press my index and middle finger and rub my temples in a circular motion. As the boxes I need to tick haunts me on this lifeless, white sheet of paper that lays on my text book filled desk.

This determines my entire life. Once I pick a course I want to do for university, I can't turn around and decide to re-pick me life again.

I struggle to decide if I should take on my mother's word and do Finance or follow my heart, my passion, and do Film Directing.

I have waited all my life for this moment. I now have left it to the last minute to make the decision. Last year seems so easy to me when this moment comes by, but now that I'm in that moment, I struggle to find the answers.

I've been getting only three to four hours of sleep for the past two weeks, repetitively asking myself which path is best for me to embark.

The time has gone by so fast from the past couple of hours, that it's already a quarter to four in the morning on a Monday. My eyes are getting incredibly heavy as my desk light starts to blur from my vision.

I lightly slap myself on the cheek in attempt to wake myself up. I jolt from my own actions, and I continue to overthink.

My hand is tired from not moving it from my head, the only position I've been in for the past couple hours, and my butt is getting increasingly num as the dim, warm yellow light continues to tire me.

I fight my subconscious and nervously bring my pen to the box beside my future. My desk light disappears the word, as my heart starts to quicken. Have I made the right choice? There's no one to answer my question but myself.

I start to yawn as I place my glasses on top of my future. I push out my chair and slowly jerk up to my feet. I can't help but stretch my stiff muscles out. I look down and realise I haven't changed into my pyjamas and thought to myself, who really cares? I turn off my light and I know very well where my heaven is as I slowly walk to it as my body plots right onto it.